Was this rude for this meetup host to say that she will be late at the last minute?

[Dodgersfan11]

I rsvp'd for this meetup event at a bar tonight, it started at 8:15pm, I'm pretty punctual, so I arrived at 8:05, I was about to walk into the bar then I checked my phone and the host posted a comment at 8pm, telling everyone that she will be there at 8:30pm because she will be bringing people with her. I was like WTF? I was pissed, so I left, thank god, because I sure as hell didn't pay the 5 bucks cover charge plus the $20 parking for the night. Geez, as a host she could have made the announcement like an HOUR earlier saying that it will "start" at 8:30pm. I kept checking my phone until 7:45pm, I was like okay, I didn't see any comments saying anything would be different. I left at 7:50pm, already on the road and trying to find parking, etc. I mean, was it right for me to leave? Or was it rude for the host?

[Dodgersfan11]

Supposedly, 22 people rsvp'd, and when I got there it was obvious I would have been the first person there, I hate waiting on people.

[losangelena]

Your username is dodger fan, so I'm assuming you live in LA? I think it's not so unreasonable to push an arrival time back 15 mins. In this town, everyone is 10 mins late to everything, and I think your expectations are unrealistic if you think you won't be the first one there 10 mins before the event start time.

 

Why don't you just start arriving places a little later if you don't want to wait on people?

[Dodgersfan11]

Your username is dodger fan, so I'm assuming you live in LA? I think it's not so unreasonable to push an arrival time back 15 mins. In this town, everyone is 10 mins late to everything, and I think your expectations are unrealistic if you think you won't be the first one there 10 mins before the event start time.

 

Why don't you just start arriving places a little later if you don't want to wait on people?

 

I actually don't live in LA, I live in Kansas, and our downtown is pretty small compared to other big cities, so tonight there really wasn't much traffic downtown at 8pm, but from now on, I'm going to arrive to places 15 minutes later from now on.

[MuddyFootprints]

Meh, your loss, their loss, whatever. If you don't want to invest an extra half hour and enjoy a drink on your own to meet a potentially great group of people, it's up to you. You don't have to be offended. I'm sure they won't be offended either.

[Dodgersfan11]

It was a "VIP Party" so she claimed there would be free drinks. Waiting half an hour? I don't think so, it was a bar/club and it just opened and literally NO ONE was there.

[basil67]

So you missed out on meeting a whole lot of new people because you wouldn't wait 15mins. All those new people....they probably had a great night too. It's totally your prerogative to leave, but it sounds to me like you cut off your nose to spite your face.

 

Have you considered that dating and making friends would be easier if you were a little more forgiving of others?

[d0nnivain]

Her timing wasn't ideal but at least she did reach out. Your choice to be early doesn't entitle you to impose your rules about punctuality on others. More flexibility & understanding should help you enlarge your social circle.

[elaine567]

If you didn't want to sit at the bar on our own why didin't you go and sit in your car for a while?

Not really sure what the big deal here is.

[Chris2016]

Supposedly, 22 people rsvp'd, and when I got there it was obvious I would have been the first person there, I hate waiting on people.

 

Are you new to meetup?

 

When I started meetup, I was pretty gung-ho about it.

Be on time, cordial, social, respond/rsvp, don't flake, etc.

 

But after attending a few, I realize it has quirks, and I shouldn't take it too seriously. Nature of the beast. Nature of Meetup, I guess.

 

-People flake.

-There'll be 30 RSVPs, but only 3 actually show up.

-People use the RSVP as their personal reminder/calendar, I think.

 

-Some meetup/organizer are about making money.

-Nothing wrong with that, organizing is hard, but you start to catch on.

-Some of the groups are huge, but only some of the people are active.

 

-Meetups are cancelled, not enough RSVP, or RSVPs at the last minute.

-The organizer is late.

-There are clicks.

-There are nice/social people.

-There are people who make you wonder Why The F did you attend.

 

In my opinion, your organizer could have been more punctual, but I don't think the time change was too bad (8:15pm to 8:30pm). It's certainly annoying if you have to wait, alone, but I almost think that comes with the territory with (some) meetup, (some) people. Certainly you don't have any obligation to put up with that either. I think you'll just naturally stop attending those particular ones/organizers, and find other meetups/groups/organizer(s) that suit better.

 

If you meet others, you can socialize ahead of time.

 

If it doesn't seem like anyone is attending, or the event's chatter is too quiet, chat out in the event's discussions, "Is this still on?", "Is anyone here?", ...

Edited October 24, 2018 by Chris2016

[preraph]

The host does all the work to organize those meetups, but they aren't even obligated to attend them all themselves or to be on time although it would be polite to be on time. but the host in the meet-up I was going to was late more than once and I just didn't think it was any big deal because we were all comfortably seated at some restaurant and could start talking and eating if we wanted to. in other words it shouldn't be any big deal because your meeting other people there. It's not like she's your date. People can come late to meetups and sometimes do. I just think you're too defensive and making too big a deal out of it.

[Chilli]

15 mins and ur on here carrying on give me strength, what's the big deal.

You probably missed a good night being so petty.

[NuevoYorko]

15 minutes doesn't even count as "late" in my book!