The last straw with my brother? Part 2.

[Vesna]

Recap.

 

Brother is a sick bastard.

 

So many people are 'idiots' and 'uneducated' and 'unenlightened.'

 

Extremely Eastern-eurocentric. No other race matters.

 

Talks about sex all the time, when he can. Talks about his gf's nice body.

 

Watched me in the shower. Said I was getting ugly like our mother.

 

Covertly destroys my self-esteem. Makes me feel dumb, less than.

 

Drives like a maniac and abuses me while driving. Thinks it is funny.

 

Makes his kids ignore me unless I am actually with them. (No Xmas gifts this year for them. It hurts me to be ignored by them and he knows/enjoys that.)

 

Talks about subjects that do not interest me, constantly.

 

Tried to kill our mother when we were teenagers. Has said he will try again.

 

Is on painkillers and other drugs. Goes on and off the hard liquor wagon.

 

Leaves me feeling exhausted.

 

If we weren't siblings, this would look like an abusive gf/bf relationship.

Occasionally, I have had to set the above record straight to acquaintances. FTR, we are in our 50s, if that means anything.

 

A month ago, I sent him an email about how it all made me feel. I used all "I" statements. Said I deserved a sincere apology. Told him not to contact me.

 

Today I found an email and I will not open it. I don't care how 'nice' or apologetic it is. I expect a non-apology.

 

I am beginning to like myself and the way I live, which was a source of put-downs for him and he had a lot of those in the bank.

 

I will not open that email. He crossed a boundary that I set, which took a lot of courage on my part.

 

Question - do I send him an email to tell him to stop crossing the boundary or do I simply trash the email and ignore altogether?

[d0nnivain]

Family or not, if someone is making you feel bad, get them out of your life. Just ignore him & live your life without him.

[Mr. Lucky]

Today I found an email and I will not open it.

 

 

I'd guess you'd find the email full of accusations and justification. Why be a part of it? Ignore him...

 

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mardelis]

A quick search of your back posts doesn't show your age but I would have expected you to be rather young and in a situation where you are forced to live with your brother otherwise why would you have anything to do with him?

 

Then I read how he's now divorced and has a 12 year old and 22 year old child. So clearly you are both adults and leading independent lives.

 

So why do you have anything to do with him?

Edited October 21, 2018 by Mardelis

[SunnyWeather]

Said I deserved a sincere apology. Told him not to contact me.

Which is it? Do you want a sincere apology, or for him not to contact you?

 

It's quite likely the email does not contain an apology, but your statement is conflicting. What if he did offer an apology? What then? It's a shame you are not in contact with your nieces anymore, but you have to do what you feel is right to continue healing.

 

I'm sorry you were bullied and harassed by a family member.

Edited October 21, 2018 by SunnyWeather

[Vesna]

Points taken, everybody. I trashed the email before I read the replies. FTR, we are in our fifties. I guess recovering from BC has killed a portion of my brain where rationalising is involved.

 

[Mardelis]

I guess recovering from BC has killed a portion of my brain where rationalising is involved.

 

 

Yes, BC can be damaging even devastating I wouldn't wish BC on anyone.

 

 

 

Wait what's BC?

[Vesna]

Breast cancer.

[Miss Clavel]

he doesn't even care if he kills you while he's driving. read that again.

 

cut him out. gone. end of.

 

you might not hear from him again but you will hear about him. he died. living the selfish sick angry demented drug fueled life he chose.

 

move on.