Randomgirl131996 Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 we have known each other for over 9 years from school. He liked me when we were younger and we were together for a few weeks until I broke it off as we were too young and I wasn’t as interested in him as he was in me at the time. Since then, we have always liked each other, I’ve always been optimistic that something would happen when the time was right. He was in 2 relationships before me but he still liked me throughout them and would always call and text me in between them and sometimes during. We were really good friends that had a lot of similarities. We finally started a relationship 3 years ago that ended yesterday. Our relationship was amazing we were so similar and outgoing and would do so much together and I remember thinking I could do anything and he wouldn’t leave me, he was the one I saw in my future. I realised he was being distant with me for a few months and knew something was up but every time I asked he said it was fine. He wanted to see me less which I agreed to and gave him the space he needed when I realised he was being distant. It was confusing because sometimes he would want me to stay and be all over me then other times he would ask when I’m going home or say we’re doing nothing this is boring. I would try my best to make plans and keep things exciting but he didn’t seem interested. After me pushing it out of him, he finally broke up with me two days ago because of his anxiety. He said his mind is all over the place, he has thoughts that he doesn’t know are real or fake and nothing makes him happy anymore. He also said he needs to experience being single as he’s been in relationships since he was 16 and hasn’t properly experienced single life and we both need to find independence but he still loves me. He said if he stayed with me he wouldn’t find the push he needed to be more independent and go out with friends and enjoy his young life. Because he still loves me and has liked me for years I’m finding it hard to agree with his decision and hoping he will realise he’s made a mistake and come back. He needs to get better which I respect and I’m going to respect his wishes and give him space but I just want to know if he will come back to me? What we had was amazing and I’m scared that he will forget about me and when he eventually does get better, he will find someone else instead of coming back to me! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 This break up is still fresh for you so the pain is acute. Break ups come with the 5 stages of grief 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance You don't want him to forget about you. He won't. You will always be the girl he knew in school & dated for a while. But you aren't part of his future. He has experience dating & has expressed the desire to be single. All that other BS he spouted about not knowing what he wants & being confused is not really true. It's something people say when they want out of their present relationship but know the other person (here you) is a good soul & they don't want to hurt the person but they do want to end the relationship so they say all that to soften the blow. Unfortunately it gives dumpees like you false hope that the dumper will figure it out & come back. The only thing the dumper wants is to not be dating you anymore. There is nothing that needs figuring out. Once you accept that this is over, you can begin working to heal yourself but that won't happen until you go through the steps above because this is a loss. You need to mourn the end of your relationship Best wishes & hang in there. You will get through this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sutsie Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Hang in there. It'll get better. Sounds similar to my girlfriend except all she said was "I just don't know" and "I feel like i'm not in love anymore" blah blah. At least this guy explained best he could. Sounds like serious grass is greener syndrome (broad phrase, but i truly believe there are real cases of GIGS throughout all aspects of life not just relationships). knowing guys he may be back, but don't cling onto any hope. Accept it, heal, and move on and become the best you and you'll find a person that won't leave for greener grass because you'll actually be appreciated and valued at what you're worth. Link to post Share on other sites
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