How come women are allowed to enjoy single life more?

[basil67]

You would be too if you been rejected for the following reasons:

 

"Ugh, why are you interested in me? Cause I'm an Asian girl? Just cause I'm Asian, you feel like we're a good match?"

 

"Sorry I only date white guys. I'm not attracted to Asian men." (She's Asian herself)

 

"Sorry but I prefer someone taller" (she's like 5'1)

 

"I'm gonna be soooo busy doing my masters for the next year. Ugh, FML" (finds out later that she gets engaged with a white guy whom she has dated for only 9 months. Busy my ass).

 

I've been humiliated and rejected for things not in my control. You'd be bitter too if you were in my shoes.

 

These girls you're asking out, what scenario is it happening in? Are they women who you've already built a strong rapport with? Or are you cold approaching? If you're doing cold approaches, be aware that few guys get positive reactions. Stick to women who you've gotten to chat easily with a social events and parties.

Edited October 23, 2018 by basil67

[BaileyB]

You would be too if you been rejected for the following reasons:

 

"Ugh, why are you interested in me? Cause I'm an Asian girl? Just cause I'm Asian, you feel like we're a good match?"

 

"Sorry I only date white guys. I'm not attracted to Asian men." (She's Asian herself)

 

"Sorry but I prefer someone taller" (she's like 5'1)

 

"I'm gonna be soooo busy doing my masters for the next year. Ugh, FML" (finds out later that she gets engaged with a white guy whom she has dated for only 9 months. Busy my ass).

 

I've been humiliated and rejected for things not in my control. You'd be bitter too if you were in my shoes.

 

Dude. I was once “introduced” to someone through a friend. We sent a few emails and decided to get together and meet in person one evening. An hour before we were set to meet, he suggested that we send a picture so that we would know who we were looking for when we arrived for our “date.” I sent my picture - and he replied to say that he was suddenly busy, something had come up and he was no longer able to meet but he would get back to me... I never heard from him again.

 

Everyone experiences rejection when dating - sometimes for the stupidest reasons, and sometimes in cruel and unusual ways. You can choose to become bitter, or you can do as I did and say “Well, that guy is a jerk! Best to know that now and not waste my evening with him...”

 

If you think you are the only person who has experienced rejection when dating, you are wrong...

 

A woman has a choice in who she does or does not want to date. Just as you have that same choice. I can appreciate that you felt rejected by these women, but the reality is - you just weren’t their choice. It actually has nothing to do with you personally. Right or wrong, they wanted to date men who were/were not Asian, or were tall, or drove a fast car... Whatever. It is their choice. You really can’t take everything so personally when dating... What happened to me when I sent my picture was humiliating. And yet, I didn’t let it bother me or stop me from dating. You need to let it go and focus on finding the right woman for you. These women, were clearly not the right woman.

Edited October 23, 2018 by BaileyB

[brigit87]

I have a good career. I am financially in a good place. I own my home, car. I read a lot of books and am knowledgeable about a variety of topics. I've travelled to many countries. I am billingual. I am physically fit. I do ballroom dancing for sport and for fun. I play guitar in a band. I dress well and have been told I'm quite stylish.

 

BUT...get this...I am only 5 foot 5 inches. I am also an Asian male. I am average looking. I get NO replies on dating sites despite having sent out tons of customized messages. I have a great profile with good pictures and have had female friends proof-read the profile just to make sure. Women don't even read my profile cause they see my physical attributes and aren't interested.

 

 

Look dude...just because you do interesting things it doesn't make you interesting.

 

If you have a decent job and aren't hideous looking you shouldn't have any problem dating. But you want what those that don't want you. So keep dating but stop assessing yourself on talents and skills. Women like charisma. They like the guy who makes them laugh and makes them feel sexy. Maybe you don't do that. Maybe you bore your dates talking about yourself. IDK.

[elaine567]

Look dude...just because you do interesting things it doesn't make you interesting.

So true.

One place I worked we had this sales guy visit intermittently.

He was soooo boring and most, men and women, avoided him if they could.

He used to show up for coffee with a group of us and to tell the truth I switched off as soon as he started his stories, and I just let the others entertain him.

One day whilst keeping a low profile I actually listened and I got past the monotonous drone of his voice to find his stories were in fact very interesting only his presentation was so poor, no-one really listened or took him seriously.

[Haydn]

Ethan Ethan Ethan.....

 

Don`t blow your trumpet so much.

 

So you have everything going for you?

 

Good job, wise and learned.

 

You know what to order in Madrid.

 

I have never dated in the sense you are looking for dates but why not make yourself a bit more individual?

 

Create a bit of mystery?

 

Claim you have a slavish admiration for Downton Abby.

 

That Radiohead lyrics are a gateway to another portal.

 

(Actually they are)

 

As Brigit said, charisma. You have a ton of good advice here.

 

But stop blaming height and ethnicity.

 

You can`t change any of that unless you invest in a `Rack` but i`m sure they don`t work.

 

Get your dinky size 5`s headed towards charisma and rapport.

 

Witty, urbane are all very well but put it all together.

 

Good luck.

[brigit87]

Ethan Ethan Ethan.....

 

Don`t blow your trumpet so much.

 

So you have everything going for you?

 

Good job, wise and learned.

 

You know what to order in Madrid.

 

I have never dated in the sense you are looking for dates but why not make yourself a bit more individual?

 

Create a bit of mystery?

 

Claim you have a slavish admiration for Downton Abby.

 

That Radiohead lyrics are a gateway to another portal.

 

(Actually they are)

 

As Brigit said, charisma. You have a ton of good advice here.

 

But stop blaming height and ethnicity.

 

You can`t change any of that unless you invest in a `Rack` but i`m sure they don`t work.

 

Get your dinky size 5`s headed towards charisma and rapport.

 

Witty, urbane are all very well but put it all together.

 

Good luck.

 

Nicely put!

 

In general, people hate two things on a date:

 

1. listening to someone talk about themselves excessively

 

2. getting asked tons of questions

 

When I went on dates those are two things that made me disqualify a guy for date number two.

 

I don't want to hear your life story and I don't want you asking me about mine.

 

What do girls like on a first date?

 

To be entertained, to feel excited yet relaxed.

 

 

That is what women want.

[thefooloftheyear]

I can't say if this is true for the OP, but sometimes it's just a matter of what type of person they are going for...If they target a certain type of person, group, ethnicity, race, etc, that generally has nothing in common, or just doesn't prefer that "look" in a man/woman, then it's entirely possible that the person will strike out almost 100% of the time..Then feel like the world is unfair to them..

 

Over the years, I have had a fair amount of the type of women that are hard left, Grateful Dead/Phish listening types, pot culture, not all that groomed or fit(even if thin) types come on to me...I don't get it...We have absolutely nothing in common, and while I appreciate the interest and there is nothing wrong with them really.. I don't know why they would go for a guy that doesn't share anything in common with them.....

 

Maybe that's the issue for this guy? I thought I read somewhere that he favors white women, but maybe I am wrong..I dunno.....I can tell you that a lot of white women won't go for smaller Asian guys...That's been my experience anyway...

 

TFY

[Garcon1986]

Brigit87 can you define for a logical person how somebody can do interesting things and simultaneously be uninteresting?

 

 

I think people sharing their life stories can be a very delightful conversation. What is the reason why you think an exciting first date excludes people sharing their life stories?

[elaine567]

Brigit87 can you define for a logical person how somebody can do interesting things and simultaneously be uninteresting?

 

Someone can spend their life doing "interesting" things, but still be of no interest to the person they are trying to impress.

Dating is about finding common interests, not about racking up interests and then hoping to hook someone on that basis.

We all know people who go off to exciting places to do interesting things and then bore us all about it, when they get home...

 

It is a bit like wearing the "crazy, mad, fun" hat, to show 'I am a "crazy, mad, fun" person', but if underneath you are pretty boring you will quickly be found out...

[Garcon1986]

Can you share an example of an interesting gentleman and what he specifically did that was attractive by your standards?

[EthanBlack]

Nicely put!

 

In general, people hate two things on a date:

 

1. listening to someone talk about themselves excessively

 

2. getting asked tons of questions

 

When I went on dates those are two things that made me disqualify a guy for date number two.

 

I don't want to hear your life story and I don't want you asking me about mine.

 

What do girls like on a first date?

 

To be entertained, to feel excited yet relaxed.

 

 

That is what women want.

 

A lot of that depends on the girl's mood too. If she's having a stressful week, she may not want to do the things that she normally would consider to be entertaining and exciting. A lot of dating comes down to just small little things and sometimes it's just circumstance. Maybe you guys didn't hit it off cause both of you were distracted or stressed or just having a rough week.

 

I agree though that it's possible to talk a little too much and reveal too much on a date so that there's no mystery left.

 

 

Maybe that's the issue for this guy? I thought I read somewhere that he favors white women, but maybe I am wrong..I dunno.....I can tell you that a lot of white women won't go for smaller Asian guys...That's been my experience anyway...

 

TFY

 

The opposite is true for me. I liked Asian girls when I was younger and always struck out. Maybe cause I'm not so Asian on the inside. I grew up "white". I'm a banana. I didn't have my first Asian friends till college. I play guitar and I have a tattoo on my wrist and I listen to alternative/bluesy rock. So the Asian girls who were traditional and liked Asian guys didn't like me. And then there were the self-hating Asian girls who would only date white guys and didn't want to be seen with an Asian guy.

 

It's true most white women don't consider dating Asian guys in the grand/statistical scheme of things but you know what I've learned about statistics? It only tells you part of the truth and it pretty much has very little bearing towards you as an individual.

 

There are lots of white women who would date an Asian guy but the thing is, it tends to happen in a face to face situation, not from online dating. She has to get to know you in person. Also, a lot of Asian guys are stone-faced in public. With white women, it's important to smile warmly and tell jokes and make small talk.

 

What Asian girls would consider to be rude, white women do not. If you went up to an Asian girl and smiled at her and just make small talk, she'd consider it rude. With a white girl, she'd be receptive most of the time, even if she wasn't interested.

 

A lot of Asian guys early on get into this thinking that they should be dating Asian girls and when Asian girls harshly reject them or they find out Asian girls only like white guys, they withdraw into this shell and just assume that if even Asian girls won't date them, then why would a white women? But it's just not true. And it took me the longest time to get out of that mindset.

 

 

 

Someone can spend their life doing "interesting" things, but still be of no interest to the person they are trying to impress.

Dating is about finding common interests, not about racking up interests and then hoping to hook someone on that basis.

We all know people who go off to exciting places to do interesting things and then bore us all about it, when they get home...

 

It is a bit like wearing the "crazy, mad, fun" hat, to show 'I am a "crazy, mad, fun" person', but if underneath you are pretty boring you will quickly be found out...

 

Sometimes two people can have no common interests but their personalities just mesh well together and they get on very well. And they are open to exploring each other's interests.

 

I've also had dates with girls who had the SAME interests in me, almost down to the exact music taste, but our personalities didn't work well together. That doesn't work either.

[preraph]

Ethan, if women don't like you, it's because you have a bad attitude about life and about women and even about men. Look how many people you've made mad just on this thread alone with your negative irresponsible attitude wherein you are right and the rest of the world is wrong and to blame. Some creep walks in with a woman too good looking for him, everyone knows he's a creep or paying for it, likely both. The world isn't as petty as your view of it is.

[brigit87]

Someone can spend their life doing "interesting" things, but still be of no interest to the person they are trying to impress.

Dating is about finding common interests, not about racking up interests and then hoping to hook someone on that basis.

We all know people who go off to exciting places to do interesting things and then bore us all about it, when they get home...

 

It is a bit like wearing the "crazy, mad, fun" hat, to show 'I am a "crazy, mad, fun" person', but if underneath you are pretty boring you will quickly be found out...

 

Thanks Elaine! That's pretty much it. Someone can travel and spend lots of money and try all kinds of different stuff. It might be interesting to them but that doesn't mean I will find their stories interesting or anyone else for that matter. I find people interesting who surprise me in someway or know how to grasp what I'm thinking without me having to explain myself.