Mardelis Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I think it's a terrible idea to call her but hey you've got nothing to lose. She'll hang up on you or yell and scream at you and then hang up on you and nothing else will change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 I am just kind of wondering how things may have went if I was actually still up and answered the phone when she called? I am just worried that she is super angry where where in first went down denial kicked in but now she has reached anger, so might be a bit dicey right now Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I am just kind of wondering how things may have went if I was actually still up and answered the phone when she called? She would have said exactly the same thing before hanging up on you. It wouldn't have made a bit of difference whether she was speaking to you or your voicemail. I am just worried that she is super angry where where in first went down denial kicked in but now she has reached anger, so might be a bit dicey right now Ya think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 she has a right to be pissed I get it, we were best friends for many years, but I certainly cannot look at this from a female point of view Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 she has a right to be pissed I get it, we were best friends for many years, but I certainly cannot look at this from a female point of view What does that have to do with anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 what got her so riled up on a late night after no conversation for over a month to call and yell at me. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 what got her so riled up on a late night after no conversation for over a month to call and yell at me. This is the same as your opening question. Re-read the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I haven't read the other thread about the breakup, but 12 years is a long time. And for you to mess up and still act like oh well I screwed up is unsettling, to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 not sure where you are getting that attitude from, I am not"oh well I screwed up" I know I effed up I did not say oh well i screwed up anywhere, I miss my friend that is it that is all Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Even at this late date, you don't seem to understand why she's so angry at you despite it being very clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 understand completely you all miss my point but am over this site Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 It's not "the site", which is simply a method of communication between well intentioned advice givers that are responding on your situation as you have described it. You don't like what you're hearing, you don't accept the suggestions you're receiving, so you're rejecting everything and everyone rather than dealing with the issues. That sort of behavior is not going to get you any closer to where you want and need to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 suggestions area those? I have not rejected a thing Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 She seemed happily done with this, and I thought I would never hear from her again, I know she had already started dating. I was curious about what people thought about all the sudden getting this call. she was not angry before she seemed happy and I thought I would never hear from her again. I know what I did to cause this, I do not need to hear about it over and over again, I am asking a specific question. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 suggestions area those? I have not rejected a thing What exactly, do you think you are doing when you say "I am done with this site?" Let's say a girl says "I am done with you". Wouldn't you say that's a form of rejection? You simply aren't getting it. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I’m not sure what happened but if you want to fix things, not contacting her is not the way to go. Even if she rages at you when you call, just deal with it. If she’s completely unreasonable, then tell her you’re sorry you hurt her and was hoping to reconnect, but you made a mistake in thinking that. After she cools off, you being calm and apologetic will cause her to think and she’ll probably contact you again. But you’ve got to show some initiative before you can get the ball rolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I know what I did to cause this, I do not need to hear about it over and over again, I am asking a specific question. You might not want to hear about what you did, but it directly relates to why she called. You can't really address one without considering the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 She seemed to be happily done with this I am trying to decipher this sudden development Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 You're trying to make sense of the irrational actions of an angry emotional woman. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 I’m not sure what happened but if you want to fix things, not contacting her is not the way to go. Even if she rages at you when you call, just deal with it. If she’s completely unreasonable, then tell her you’re sorry you hurt her and was hoping to reconnect, but you made a mistake in thinking that. After she cools off, you being calm and apologetic will cause her to think and she’ll probably contact you again. But you’ve got to show some initiative before you can get the ball rolling. Well except for my last text too her a couple weeks ago she mentioned keep giving me space so I am all confused here, but like I said yesterday I may just give a call tonight and see what happens, worse that can happen is we do not get together and we are not together now Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Well except for my last text too her a couple weeks ago she mentioned keep giving me space so I am all confused here, but like I said yesterday I may just give a call tonight and see what happens, worse that can happen is we do not get together and we are not together now On the off chance that she's still open to reconciliation it's because the time apart has given her a chance to rethink her decision. There's an air of mystery to it..you're not contacting her, you might be seeing other people, you might be gone for good, she's losing control of the situation, she's losing you, maybe she made a mistake. Maybe. Now you go and call her and there's no more mystery and you still want her and she loses interest. That's the worst that can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 You're trying to make sense of the irrational actions of an angry emotional woman. Good luck. Fair enough, thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 On the off chance that she's still open to reconciliation it's because the time apart has given her a chance to rethink her decision. There's an air of mystery to it..you're not contacting her, you might be seeing other people, you might be gone for good, she's losing control of the situation, she's losing you, maybe she made a mistake. Maybe. Now you go and call her and there's no more mystery and you still want her and she loses interest. That's the worst that can happen. Yes that is what scares the bejeezus (no idea if I spelled that right) out of me Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Yes that is what scares the bejeezus (no idea if I spelled that right) out of me That's why you should not call her. She obviously has your number, if she's curious, she'll contact you. This is sometimes where the dumpee says "but if I don't try contacting her and she's interested in reconciling then I'll lose the opportunity because she'll be afraid to call me after she was the one who ended it!". Or words to that effect. Either way the logic is completely flawed and here's why- the dumper was thinking about themselves when they ended the relationship- they were not considering what the dumpees needs and wants were. They wanted out, and that's all they thought about. Same difference now. If she wants back in, she'll act on her needs and wants, not think about yours. See how easy that is? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 I do clearly I was on her mind last Saturday at 12:30 in the morning , although she was mad, I was still on her mind Link to post Share on other sites
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