Was I wrong? Were we all in the wrong?

[siren8272]

So my cousin and her long term boyfriend brought their daughter to my aunt’s house to visit. Once they had dinner and my cousins daughter asked my cousin about the skating rink that was in town. My cousin told her she didn’t know anything about it because she never went as a child.

 

My cousin’s daughter asked her why she never went and she responded she was not allowed to go as a child. When my cousin’s daughter asked why my aunt snapped “ BECAUSE I DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR YOUR MOTHER AND THE SKATING RINK WAS DANGEROUS THEN AND ITS DANGEROUS NOW I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO GO EITHER YOUNG LADY” when my cousin started to speak up my aunt tells her to “SHUT UP RIGHT NOW ILL SLAP YOU”

 

Well my cousin’s boyfriend clearly stunned and angry changed the subject to how good the dinner menu was to ease tensions. Once dinner was done my aunt showed everyone to their rooms. She showed my cousin’s daughter to her room then she turned suddenly rudely to my cousin and her boyfriend stating “you know you cant sleep in the room together because you aren’t married right? That would be against my religion”. She then showed my cousin’s boyfriend his room and then myself and cousin our rooms.

 

Well it was only twelve and we weren’t tired so we decided to binge watch movies. So we quietly watched a few movies when at 2 am my aunt who clearly hadn’t been to bed freaked out accusing my cousin and her boyfriend of trying to sneak and sleep in the room together(don’t forget I’m in the room with my cousin so I guess she thought I was going watch)then DEMANDED that my cousin’s boyfriend go back to his room and that we turn the tv off.

 

My cousins child wakes up asks what’s wrong and why mom and dad are in separate rooms. My aunt snaps on her telling her to take her “fast tail”(southern dialect for loose) to bed. Well we settle in and my cousin soon informs me she and her boyfriend are getting a hotel this is at three am. Well they start packing quietly so not to disturb my aunt but she hears them and flies out of the room and starts screaming. She talking about we need to get saved(I don’t know what I did wrong ) and our lifestyles are the opposite to how we were raised.

 

Well at this point im gathering my things to leave as well. Once packed up I got in my car and my aunt starts to try to attack my cousin’s boyfriend. He holds her off enough for everyone to get into the car to leave. We all get a hotel room then in the morning went home.

 

Now my aunt says that we are all in the wrong because we disrespected her household by leaving. Was it wrong to try to leave in the middle of the night without telling her? based on the above behavior can you blame me ? I was fearful she’d attack me physically because shes pissed with me as well. So was it wrong to try to leave without telling my aunt? Are my cousin and boyfriend wrong? Should we not have looked at movies together in the same room with the door open wide?

Edited October 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[basil67]

OK, it's NEVER wrong to leave a situation which is volatile.

 

That said, it's her house and her rules and your cousin and boyfriend should have respected those rules. However, surely your mother's reputation for being cray cray would have not been a surprise to them, so I can't understand why they chose to stay in the first place.

 

As for you going with them.....Again, it's never bad to leave a volatile situation, but will she accept you coming back home again? Or are you going to stay gone?

[siren8272]

oh trust i am staying gone. Honestly to her defense my aunt hadnt acted like this in YEARS. I mean growing up she was controlling and my cousin moved out at age 25 despite my aunt's sabotage. I thought they had mended fences and apparently so did my cousin. She said she cannot believe that her mom is still trying to twist her arm in her 30s. I feel for her and the daughter is creeped out....

[Miss Clavel]

well, if and when you talk to her let her know that since she is holding to her religion over her blood, you will forever stay at a hotel.

 

if, she keeps running her mouth about her granddaughter's ligetimacy, you will not "visit" her at all.

 

stick to it.

'

she's the hostess and you were her guests. you both failed, imo, beause you left. you coulda just gone to sleep, for the love of god, it was late and she was off her rocker.

 

in the morning would have been the time for the boyfriend and the child to go find you a room or gas up the car leaving you all to talk.

 

about how you're always gonna stay in a hotel. till she stops screaming unsolicited advice and opinions at the top of her voice, after midnight.

 

and till she gets netflix cable and some better snacks.