Mabu8128 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I do not know if this is the best forum for this So about a year ago I met a girl that was visiting the United States for 6 months and we really hit it off. Eventually I told her I liked her and she told me she had a BF so I stopped talking to her and respected it. 6 weeks later she messages me and wants to talk to me and in my humble opinion and all of my friends and anyone who was around us said it looked like we were dating. We went out just the two of us as friends (but they seemed like dates), we watched movies just 2 of us. On her final week I remember he crying because she was going to miss me so much and we ended up sitting on the couch for 20 min while shy was lying on top of me. I liked her a lot so I was in such a hard spot as we kept saying we were friends but I have never seen friends act like that before. She went home and we talked for a month and then I broke contact for 6 months as it hurt me too much to talk to her. Fast forward 6 months later and I sent her a happy birthday with a nice message about how miss you hope everything is well etc etc. She then sends me a message back saying she misses me too and I made her entire birthday with my text. After sending this i noticed that she has deleted every single picture of her bf off all her social media (im not proud of doing this but I had to be check before I talked to her again to save myself heart ache). We facetimed for 3 hours last week and I swear on everything the way she talks to me is just not how a friends talk, everything feels like a relationship. She even invited me to go to South Africa just the two of us in about 3 months and thats crazy to me. We are going to facetime every thursday now and I even said so its datenight thursdays and she just giggled and laughed. SHE NEVER ONCE EVER ACTS LIKE SHE HAS A BF and its stressing me out soooooo much and I am not acting like myself. Please help me , I have been stressed all week going from happy to sad over this 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Please help me Hi Mabu8128, I think it's understandable that you might have mixed feelings or confusion over this. A big question you'll need to answer is, what do you want to happen? What is your end goal from this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mabu8128 Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 Hi Mabu8128, I think it's understandable that you might have mixed feelings or confusion over this. A big question you'll need to answer is, what do you want to happen? What is your end goal from this? Well in a perfect world I would like a relationship but it seems out of reach Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Well in a perfect world I would like a relationship but it seems out of reach Well, what about this? "She even invited me to go to South Africa just the two of us in about 3 months" If you want a relationship, the Africa invitation seems like an opportunity not to be missed, right? Or, do you have other concerns holding you back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mabu8128 Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 Well, what about this? "She even invited me to go to South Africa just the two of us in about 3 months" If you want a relationship, the Africa invitation seems like an opportunity not to be missed, right? Or, do you have other concerns holding you back? I am personally not completly sold that she likes me romantically, I a trip like that would be a waste for me if it was only as friends, I am trying to figure out if she sees me as a friend or a romantic interest but could not pursue it because she was in a relationship at the time. I know asking her is the best way but I do not know how to even bring that up. Everyone I know tells me that the things she is doing is almost screaming at me that she is into me but I wish there were ways to test if she saw me as a friend or not Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mabu8128 Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 I also told her when she was in the U.S that I liked her and she said she had a boyfriend so i am nervous to ask again. Friends say "she said she had a boyfriend, not that she was not into you " but these statements only confuse me more Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Ask how her boyfriend would feel about her meeting you alone in South Africa. That should answer your question about his presence (or absence) in her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mabu8128 Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 Ask how her boyfriend would feel about her meeting you alone in South Africa. That should answer your question about his presence (or absence) in her life. Thats a good idea, thats how i will bring it up Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 There is nothing to stress over because there is nothing here. When she was traveling, you met but nothing happened because you tried to respect the boundaries of her BF. She wasn't exactly being true to him by laying on top of you. So you already know her morals aren't really there; I would not trust her to be in an LDR. So even if she's the one who got away . . . the romantic dream of the exotic foreign ingenue . . . it's all just a big fantasy. What could possibly be your end game here? Do you want to relocate to her country? Do you think she wants to return to the US permanently & with these immigration issues, do you even think that is possible? Yes it's all gloriously romantic but it's unrealistic. Stop stressing. Enjoy the fantasy but don't get any more hung up on this pipe dream. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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