What happens when you find out you have been the heartbreaker but never meant to?

[thegreatesthumphrey]

I have always been taught by my dad to be perfect... If your not perfect then your just the first loser.... always. I am now 30 years old. I have never believed anyone could love me, because I never believed myself to be perfect. I also have never wanted to hurt anyone ever. I never believed there was anyway these boys, men, or guys could like or love me in my life because I wasnt perfect. Now that I am 30 and Im looking back. I see how men treat me now and its how women wish they were treated at my age.... movies remind me of how guys treated me when i was younger. Guys still see how im doing after I have left their lives and they have moved on. I have men that are models now trying to get me to get lunch or dinner with them.... I didnt realize it until now, that I was and am actually pretty. To be honest, when I looked in the mirror I could only see ugly. Its only now that I realize I actually broke guys hearts. I never meant to. Some of those guys I actually loved. I just never thought that they would or could ever love me.

[Mr. Lucky]

I have always been taught by my dad to be perfect... If your not perfect then your just the first loser.... always. I am now 30 years old. I have never believed anyone could love me, because I never believed myself to be perfect.

 

I'm afraid, at age 30, the clock is running out on your ability to blame mom and dad.

 

Doesn't mean your upbringing didn't affect you but, as an adult, there's a lot of ways to understand and promote healthy behavior. You, can read, study, get therapy - there are many paths forward.

 

At this point, the only thing holding you back from understanding yourself better is you...

 

Mr. Lucky