All Encompassing WPN Thread of Jealousy

[BaileyB]

It makes you nuts because you know what she is capable of.

 

She proved what she could do back in college.

 

She proved what she could do when she had an extramarital affair with WPN.

[BaileyB]

Do you recognise this is an unhealthy way to be?

 

So true. Many women would not tolerate this from a man.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Do you recognise this is an unhealthy way to be?

 

 

 

Yes, I know it borderlines on infatuation and seeing her as a possession.

 

 

We live in different cities and I asked her to tell me when guys ask her out. It doesn't happen a lot (at least that is what she tells me). This past Tuesday a guy at one of the fitness clubs she teaches at asked her to coffee as she was leaving her class. She said to me "I don't know why you want to know this stuff".

 

 

I haven't told her but it makes me feel good to hear she has rejected other guys bc she is with me.

[Blanco]

It sounds like you don't actually respect this woman as a person. To you, she is the embodiment of a trophy; something that gives you validation as a person.

 

And it should probably go without saying that you insisting on these tidbits probably only fortifies your jealousy in the long run, because it's a regular reminder that yes, she has options other than you.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

She was at her daughters event out in the boonies. Her daughter said she wanted something to eat. Her daughter's friend chimes in she would like something too. There was time to kill so my gf said she'll will drive to Chipotle about 30 minutes away. The friend's dad then says he will drive and my gf can go with him. My gf says no and she'll just go and doesn't mind making the trip. The friend's dad says "no, get in, I'll drive". My gf had never met this guy before. She knows the daughter and the mom but never met the dad. She says she was very uncomfortable (not for safety but awkwardness).

 

 

 

 

My gf told me this and I said she should not have gotten in car of some guy she doesn't know. She said it was fine bc she knows the mom.

 

 

Am I being unreasonable? I know my gf's friendly personality can be interpreted as flirting and I have know men (some unstable) who are married and still make moves on women. Being alone with him in his car out in the country does not seem like a smart thing to do.

 

 

Some of my anger is she has trouble saying no or using poor judgment.

[Wallysbears]

You are both cheaters. You should be insecure. Because if she would cheat on her X with you, she will cheat on you.

 

It is only a matter of when.

 

And, the "you are judged by the company you keep" saying has merit. She surrounds herself with swingers, people in open relationships and cheaters. So obviously her moral compass has no aversion to those types.

 

But hey, she's hot so it is ok, right?

[clia]

Am I being unreasonable? I know my gf's friendly personality can be interpreted as flirting and I have know men (some unstable) who are married and still make moves on women. Being alone with him in his car out in the country does not seem like a smart thing to do.

 

Some of my anger is she has trouble saying no or using poor judgment.

 

I don't see any issue with her riding in the car with her daughter's friend's father to go and get Chipotle for the girls. Sure, I suppose there is some far fetched chance he could be the BTK killer, but chances are it's totally fine and she knows the mom and the daughter. So, yes, I think you are being unreasonable.

[Artdeco]

I don't see any issue with her riding in the car with her daughter's friend's father to go and get Chipotle for the girls. Sure, I suppose there is some far fetched chance he could be the BTK killer, but chances are it's totally fine and she knows the mom and the daughter. So, yes, I think you are being unreasonable.

 

Yeah, agreed, what’s the big deal?

 

They are two parents in the same boat, so to speak, helping out one another. May I ask why you’re uncomfortable with that? Just bc you think your GF is attractive doesn’t mean 1) she’s cheating, 2) other people find her (equally) attractive, 3) everybody around you (or her) has questionable intentions.

 

She is dating you, but she has her own children, and she has her own life, and she has to take care of her own business, so how is your questioning every move that she makes is helping her? Or the relationship? Or you for that matter?

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Yeah, agreed, what’s the big deal?

 

They are two parents in the same boat, so to speak, helping out one another. May I ask why you’re uncomfortable with that? Just bc you think your GF is attractive doesn’t mean 1) she’s cheating, 2) other people find her (equally) attractive, 3) everybody around you (or her) has questionable intentions.

 

She is dating you, but she has her own children, and she has her own life, and she has to take care of her own business, so how is your questioning every move that she makes is helping her? Or the relationship? Or you for that matter?

 

 

 

I can see your points but I think it is unusual to ask a woman you don't know to go on an hour plus car ride. That is what makes me uncomfortable. I would never consider asking a woman I just met to do this. On top of that, my gf first said no but he was insistent she go. I wish my gf would have been stronger to say no.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I don't see any issue with her riding in the car with her daughter's friend's father to go and get Chipotle for the girls. Sure, I suppose there is some far fetched chance he could be the BTK killer, but chances are it's totally fine and she knows the mom and the daughter. So, yes, I think you are being unreasonable.

 

 

 

You would go on a hour plus car ride with a guy you just met?

[Artdeco]

You would go on a hour plus car ride with a guy you just met?

 

Seriously now, they’re both at the same event, kids are hungry, both are willing to go to chipotle to get (them) some food. Is it reasonable to take two cars if you want to go to the same place and back? Like seriously? I suppose one of them could’ve offered to get the takeout for everybody. (But how is that fair? Especially if they have time to kill.....) It’s always better to have some company, don’t you think? After all, the kids know each other, the mothers know each other, so why are you suspicious automatically? There’s nothing going on here. Do you think the dad’s wife is equally jealous?

Quite frankly, I couldn’t handle a boyfriend like you. I would feel uneasy 24/seven, walking on egg shells and probably trying to hide most of what I’m doing during the day while you’re not with me.

[BaileyB]

You would go on a hour plus car ride with a guy you just met?

 

No, I wouldn’t do this - because it’s awkward and unsafe.

 

But - your girlfriend is a grown woman, very capable of making her own decisions. Your opinion, once voiced, matters little...

[Wallysbears]

She went to pick up food for kids - not go on a joyride with some stranger.

[clia]

You would go on a hour plus car ride with a guy you just met?

 

Although she just met him for the first time, he's the father of her daughter's friend and she knows the mother. Presumably the kid and the mom have talked about him before. Presumably this guy knows some of the other parents at the event as well. He's not just some random dude off the street.

 

So yeah, if it was that necessary to go get food for our daughters, I would probably go with my daughter's friend's father to pick up food them without thinking much of it.

 

Are you concerned that he was going to murder her or that he was going to hit on her?

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Are you concerned that he was going to murder her or that he was going to hit on her?

 

 

 

Murder, no, make an advance, start stalking - yes. I had an neighbor (wife) get assaulted by another neighbor (husband) so there are freaks out there. My gf has already be subject to a stalker taking photos of her.

 

 

Probably, the bigger issue is I wish she would use better judgment and not give in when the guys insisted. A "NO" should mean "No".

[Wallysbears]

Murder, no, make an advance, start stalking - yes. I had an neighbor (wife) get assaulted by another neighbor (husband) so there are freaks out there. My gf has already be subject to a stalker taking photos of her.

 

 

Probably, the bigger issue is I wish she would use better judgment and not give in when the guys insisted. A "NO" should mean "No".

 

I think you are REALLY insecure.

 

She went to pick up some tacos with a fellow parent.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Is it reasonable to take two cars if you want to go to the same place and back? Like seriously? I suppose one of them could’ve offered to get the takeout for everybody. (But how is that fair? Especially if they have time to kill.....) It’s always better to have some company, don’t you think? After all, the kids know each other, the mothers know each other, so why are you suspicious automatically? There’s nothing going on here. Do you think the dad’s wife is equally jealous?

 

My gf offered originally to go get the food for both kids by herself. She didn't mind at all. She didn't want to go with him. She didn't want company, said it was awkward AF.

 

 

Yes the kids know each other and my gf knows the mom but not well at all. It wasn't one of her daughters close friends. The wife wasn't there so I bet this guy saw an opportunity to do some flirting with another woman.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I think you are REALLY insecure.

 

She went to pick up some tacos with a fellow parent.

 

 

Not quite as simple as that. They out in the middle of now where. It was an hour plus drive with a guy she didn't know. She didn't want to go with him. He was being persistent and my gf is too nice sometimes.

[Wallysbears]

How do you function living in a different city from your GF when you are so worked up over something as trivial as her going to pick up tacos with a parent?

 

How does SHE react to this?

 

The clingy/needy/insecure stuff would be a major turn off to most women I know.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

How do you function living in a different city from your GF when you are so worked up over something as trivial as her going to pick up tacos with a parent?

 

How does SHE react to this?

 

The clingy/needy/insecure stuff would be a major turn off to most women I know.

 

 

 

All I said it was not a good idea for her to get in car with someone she doesn't know. She just said she knows the mom and the daughter and the ride was uncomfortable.

 

 

She said she didn't want to go on this hour plus ride with this guy. I want her to stand up for herself more. That is major part of the problem I have. Is she didn't want to go, she shouldn't be pushed into going.

[Artdeco]

All I said it was not a good idea for her to get in car with someone she doesn't know. She just said she knows the mom and the daughter and the ride was uncomfortable.

 

 

She said she didn't want to go on this hour plus ride with this guy. I want her to stand up for herself more. That is major part of the problem I have. Is she didn't want to go, she shouldn't be pushed into going.

 

OK - but what’s the alternative? To say no and be rude? Sure, she could’ve done that (and she should have, if she was THAT uncomfortable, uncomfortable enough to make a BIG story out of literally nothing, which she had to tell you out of all people, you who can’t handle squat)......She wanted to go get food for both girls, they’re at a school event at some remote location, and somebody found out that she was going alone and he offered to go with her. Big ****ing deal. He was just trying to be friendly and helpful, I don’t see anything else going on there.

 

If you want to read anything into it, then you definitely WANT to read something into it. Or maybe SHE does by telling you. Who knows. That’s not even a story worth telling. That’s how insignificant it is. And adding that she was “uncomfortable”..... weird. She’s a grown ass woman. If she doesn’t wanna go she doesn’t wanna go. If she’s that uncomfortable, she doesn’t get in that car. The guy just tried to be friendly, being a fellow parent, and offered to drive. Big ****ing deal. Jesus

[Amethyst68]

And again you ignore the post about the fact you became a couple by cheating on your partners. The problem is you obviously don't trust her boundaries.

 

Whenever she's in a position where she's alone with a man you panic, you find some nefarious reason on his behalf to lure her into his company and start panicking.

 

If you're going to be together long term your going to have to trust her and that includes her interactions with the opposite sex.

[basil67]

WPN, if I understand correctly, the kids were in the back of the car while the parents went to get food. Do you really think they were getting it on with two girls in the back seat? It was a long drive, they were probably chatting easily and what harm can come when you've got two kids (including one of his own) with you?

 

Also, I don't believe for a moment that your girlfriend said "no" to going with him and I don't believe it was awkward. She's just lying like she always does in order to manipulate you. She tells you these stories, lies to cover herself, you get bent out of shape and she sees your jealousy as love. It's beyond twisted.

 

If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat. Getting bent out of shape over each thing you don't like isn't going to stop her from cheating. I wonder what would happen if you stopped reacting to her stories.

Edited December 18, 2018 by basil67

[Amethyst68]

One final thing, you also seem to have a problem with her socialising with her female friends, they always seem to be leading her astray somehow. You even made her feel guilty about participating in her own cousin's wedding festivities.

 

I'm honestly not trying to make you feel bad, just trying to get you to think. Is the endgame here for you to be the only person in your GF's life? Is that the only way you'll be at peace?

 

I think you need to do some work on yourself, this jealousy is not new. Looking at your old threads you had the same problems with your ex wife, who you claim is not hot like your GF. Time to look deeper!

[Wookin Pa Nub]

And again you ignore the post about the fact you became a couple by cheating on your partners. The problem is you obviously don't trust her boundaries.

 

 

The thing is I trust her 100%. I think I wish she would make decisions that I think she should make. Call that controlling I guess. I don't think she should have got in that car alone with a guy she just met when her first inclination was she didn't want to. Maybe it's a possessive thing too as I don't want another guy to have alone time out in public with her even if it's on the up and up.