Mikeygui Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 (edited) Hey so idk if this is a reply but i am asking a qestion and i really need help dealing with this situation here we go My gf and i have been dating for 3 years About a month and a week ago my gf and i went to her best friends wedding near the end of the night the groom who is friends with both of us comes outside and tells me my gf is dancing with this guy she knows i hate from my past so i go inside the hall and when they see me they both stop dancing i grab her by the hand and she says i told him you would not approve and i replied if you knew tonsay that why didnt you stop it and we got in a big argument that get overly heated i swore and said mean things and we broke up she followed me to the car and asked if we were breaking up to confirm and she asked for the key to her place back I didnt want to break up but inwas so upset and continued to say mean things called her a slut and a whore and to go be with him if she really wanted to after she left and went back immediatly to him while i was waiting in my car for a cab ... the next day i went and grabbed some things from her house but by wednesday inwas apologizing but she did not want to be back together later i found out she ended up sleeping with him that night after the break up and is continuing to see him and sleep with him she insisted that if i had never broken up with her that non of this would have happened but she initally was dancing with him at the wedding and if that not had happened i would not have flown off the handle..... Prior to the wedding day she would hang out with her friends at anmutual friends place and she one day mentioned that this guy i didnt like was there and how gross he was and he was with a tinder date and he stole bikes and was a low life but i also mentioned why are you bringing him up another day prior to the wedding we were hanging out with the groom and fiancess at their house and she said he kept trying to add her on instagram and changjng his instagram name to try and add her and i said why isnhe hitting on you i am wkndering jf these were signs she was attracted to him and maybe even talking to him before hand and then dnaced at the wedding you do not sleep with someone randomly that quick or was it my words that maybhave done it i am confused and hurt because i lived her and would never had expected this from her we would talk about marrige and just started living together idk is she was emotionally cheating and then finally had a reason to sleep with a guy she was interested in even tho she said he was gross we have been broken up sknce the wedding we bave talked but i have been blocked from everything she didnsaybshe feltnguilty and i do love her but am concered about her behaviour and torn between wanting tonfix it and let her go idk if it was may fault fromnaction but i know i would nevee be able to sleep with someone so fast we were drunk be she also slept with him again and still seea him isnshe hurt from the break up or contempt with the new guy she may have had her eye on this man has no job ****ty car and no life goals where we supported each other and have careers and talked about future i have no idea what to think but when i talked to her she seemed cold and was unwilling tonfixnthe situation but isnshe hurt and maybe ashamed of what she did and cannot knows it cannot be the same now any opinions or insight will help Edited November 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Add a few paragraphs no attempt to clean up the rest of the mess; closed thread 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 She totally set you up. She danced with the guy knowing you were going to make a scene and made you out to be the bad guy, so she could get what she wanted the entire time- him and not you. Here's the takeaway message for you so you can work on some stuff. The part about how you lost your temper and called her all those horrible names and then you tried apologizing and she'd have none of it? I'm going to bet this is one of many times you lost your temper and called her names. Possibly you've even been physical with her at times? Learn not to do things in the first place that you have to apologize for later. It's called "anger management". Google it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 She should not have been dancing with some guy she knew you didn't like. That was just rude on her part. When you called her names & broke up, you should have known that would send her straight into his bed. It was a wedding. She'd been drinking. He was there. She was upset. Kind of a straight line. That said, she showed her true colors. I don't think she would have cheated on you with him nor do I think she "set you up" but all in all, perhaps you are better off apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Hey so idk if this is a reply but i am asking a qestion and i really need help dealing with this situation here we go My gf and i have been dating for 3 years About a month and a week ago my gf and i went to her best friends wedding near the end of the night the groom who is friends with both of us comes outside and tells me my gf is dancing with this guy she knows i hate from my past so i go inside the hall and when they see me they both stop dancing i grab her by the hand and she says i told him you would not approve and i replied if you knew tonsay that why didnt you stop She knew but didn't have enough respect for you to say no. it and we got in a big argument that get overly heated i swore and said mean things and we broke up she followed me to the car and asked if we were breaking up to confirm and she asked for the key to her place back i didnt want to break up but inwas so upset and continued to say mean things called her a slut and a whore and to go be with him if she really wanted to after she left and went back immediatly to him while i was waiting in my car for a cab ... the next day i went and grabbed some things from her house but by wednesday inwas apologizing but she did not want to be back together later i found out she ended up sleeping with him that night after the break up and is continuing to see him and sleep with him she insisted that if i had never broken up with her that non of this would have happened but she initally was dancing with him at the wedding and if that not had happened i would not have flown off the handle..... Just BS. You could have handled it better but long term you didn't lose much Prior to the wedding day she would hang out with her friends at anmutual friends place and she one day mentioned that this guy i didnt like was there and how gross he was and he was with a tinder date and he stole bikes and was a low life but i also mentioned why are you bringing him up another day prior to the wedding we were hanging out with the groom and fiancess at their house and she said he kept trying to add her on instagram and changjng his instagram name to try and add her and i said why isnhe hitting on you i am wkndering jf these were signs she was attracted to him and maybe even talking to him before hand and then dnaced at the wedding you do not sleep with someone randomly that quick or was it my words that maybhave done it i am confused and hurt because You are correct. i lived her and would never had expected this from her we would talk about marrige and just started living together idk is she was emotionally cheating and then finally had a reason to sleep with a guy she was interested in even tho she said he was gross we have been broken up sknce the wedding we bave talked but i have been blocked from everything she didnsaybshe feltnguilty and i do love her but am concered about her behaviour and torn between wanting You can't fix her. It would be a fools errand to try. it and let her go idk if it was may fault fromnaction but i know i would nevee be able to sleep with someone so fast we were drunk be she also slept with him again and still seea him isnshe hurt from the break up or contempt with the new guy she may have had her eye on this man has no job ****ty car and no life goals where we supported each other and have careers and talked about future i have no idea what to think but when i talked to her she seemed cold and was unwilling tonfixnthe situation but isnshe hurt and maybe ashamed of what she did and cannot knows it cannot be the same now any opinions or insight will help It doesn't matter if he has no job or anything else. She picked him. What's that tell you about her? Don't waste any time on this. Block her on everything and move on. The worst mistake you can make now is to not believe what she's shown you and that is who she is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Let her wallow in her mistake, and you move on. Asking yourself why is not worth the effort/energy. Thank your lucky stars you didn't end up marrying her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 You both screwed up. You should never, ever call a woman a whore, and whatever else you said. But she screwed up big time too. I’d say call it a day. I can’t imagine why she’d want to be with a guy like that but it’s probably all about pissing you off. There’s no recovering from this because she’s proven to you that she’ll act this way when the two of you argue; and you’ve proven that you will stoop very low and call your gf unsavory names. You both need to grow up and hopefully this puts you on that path. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Run, change your phone number, block her from any and all of your social networks. You will never forget about her sleeping with someone you dislike, hell, she even went back for more. There will never be a better time to get out of a bad relationship. If she cared and respected you she would never have danced with him, end of story. Someone who is heartbroken doesn't jump into bed with another person. When your heartbroken and suffering sex isn't usually the thing that is on your mind, finding a way to save your relationship usually is. Anyone that would have multiple sexual hookups with another person to punish you isn't worth anymore of your time. You dogged a bullet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 nor do I think she "set you up" but all in all, perhaps you are better off apart. Yeah on second thought she probably didn't do it on purpose it just sort of happened. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Break up with her. She had the hots for this player guy way before she danced with him at the wedding. She knows he's a low life and likes it. He didn't have to do much to get her pants down now did he? On top of that now he's her man. Good grief lose her number. Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 While you did not handle things very well at the wedding and let it get to you that she was dancing with the low life guy. You need to have restraint and be calm in situations like that. Calling a woman names and yelling is not how a man with his stuff together handles things. Obviously your gf does not have integrity and she showed you that, I am sure it is not the first time either. Getting back together with her is impossible, as you will never forget the memory of her sleeping with that guy. Nor will you ever forgive her. 3 years is a long time to invest in someone but this has run it's course courtesy of both of you. It is obvious your gf was not that invested in your relationship and had little to no respect for you dancing with that guy knowing you do not like him. She did not have your back and you should never be in a relationship with someone who does not. Also, you losing your crap, calling her names, yelling at her shows you don't respect her much either. Nor, you having your emotional self together. No matter what someone does to you, always be cool, keep it together, and respectful. I would delete and block everything to do with her. Heal up, work on your anger, emotional center, and move forward. Find a women who respects you, your relationship, and has your back. I wish you luck 3 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 There's nothing like unanimity. You guys should stay broken up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Yeah...the name calling was out of order. Dancing with a guy doesn't make her a whore or a slut. NEVER call a woman those names. It's insulting and degrading. She clearly liked the guy to some extent.... He was at her best friends wedding, so the bride or groom don't hate him ... I think it's was wrong that she danced with him knowing that you disliked him. Forget about her and move on. There's plenty more fish in the sea. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 BOTH of you are abusive people. She disrespected you and you called her names and decided to punish her by breaking up, she then decides to use that as her excuse to have sex with the guy. See the emotional abuse that goes on here?? By the both of you?? Get yourself some help and work on your issues, cut her off completely. Then when you are mature enough you can engage in an adult relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CollinW Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You're better off. I know your pride is hurt and that will be the reason you harp on this but try to leave the ego out and move on with your life the best you can. Also ignore the "never call a woman blah blah", it was out of line but these same women have no problem calling a man a dick if he doesn't pay for a date, let along disrespect you in public. She's not special. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 You did nothing wrong, she was disrespecting you, dancing like a whore, and you called her what she was behaving like.. I am speaking fron the perspective of the guy who screwed her after she argued with you, but probably started doing so earlier - I am a seducer of women- one of the secrets of seduction is that, 'women love indignation' - do or say some crazy staff, the woman who complains the most and continues to do so, is the one you go for, those are sign of interest in a woman-indifference is the real sign of lack of interest - if she starts saying things like, 'You are so mean, you crazy, whats wrong with you ! You such an asss..punching you on your chest' - then you are winning. You asked a question, you said how could a woman sleep with a man that fast. "A woman doesn't need intimacy/familiarity to be aroused - Intimacy and arouse are on opposite sides" - Research as shown that both genders are more aroused by the prospect of sleeping with a new partner/stranger -than they are with someone they are already sleeping with. haven't you heard be say,'Women love the men they hate: the ex she hates the most is the ex she is still not over with' Who told you that having a job, life goals, a car is what is arouses women - one of mentors would f'ck two girls at the same time in in van-home. I have cheated with model wives of millionaires - woman still hunger for raw masculinity, for an alpha... That guy you think is a loser has 'game' and you don't, but you can learn and become master. Game works, and it doesn't matter if you have a car or life goals, you can f''ck other mens girls and wives - Game is predicated on the feral nature of women, most men don't even know exist Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 The amazing things that happen when it is drunk out. Link to post Share on other sites
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