Hopeful30 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Maybe I'm just being biased, but I really feel that dating must have been easier in the earlier days. Though we understand now that not everything is black and white, back in the day when it WAS black and white, dating must have been much easier. Gender roles were pretty standard, so you knew what to expect. Norms were also more solid, so we knew how to behave or react. Even if romance wasn't involved, people were always paired because that's how life was. You were paired with the best suitor, or someone your family finds appropriate, or if you got knocked up, you got married. I'm not saying these things are good or in anyway better than all the possibilities we have today, but I feel that so many of us are alone so much of the time because there's no shape or form to dating anymore. We are a mishmash of ages, ethnicities, genders, cultures, languages, appearances, social classes, sexualities, etc. I mean... it's a whole ocean of mixed up stuff out there! At least back in black/white times when everything was neatly stacked on the shelves, people were less likely to end up alone. They would just pick off the shelf what they found appropriate. Now it's a GoodWill pile on a black Friday! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 dating was just as hard back in the good ol' days... Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I think in some ways it was, but I think most of us were far less selective. So, on the front end of the romance scene, it was easy. Then came marriage and it got really complicated because we realized what that entailed. I think dating can be easy if you disconnect from today's norm and get back to what works for you. Personally, I can't do online dating because it's demoralizing. When you go out with someone, just be yourself. It's not always going to work and, because most of us are wiser, we're not easily enchanted. It's not all good, not all bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I don't know about the dating part but when it came to sex it must have taken forever to get all those clothes off. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I don't know about the dating part but when it came to sex it must have taken forever to get all those clothes off. It depends on what old days you are talking about. In the 60s, 70s and even the 80s to an extent it was the free love era. The problem with dating these days is that in some ways we are sort of in a cold gender war so naturally that effects relationships. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 It depends on what old days you are talking about. I was thinking about how they were dressed on the Titanic. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 IDK about easier but it seemed more fluid and organic and wasn't analyzed to death like it is now. IME, I started 'asking girls out' right around the time of Woodstock. It sure seemed simple. If a guy wanted to date a girl, he asked her out on a date. If a girl wanted to date a guy, he asked her out on a date 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Olden days meaning pre-internet, when we had “blind dates” instead of OLD? Just teasing OP. I really wouldn’t know. But, I have a feeling that people treated others a little better as it’s my opinion that kindness and civility have kind-of been lost in recent years. It’s more difficult to be rude and disrespectful to someone in person, than it is online. I also think that people were not as “disposable” as they are now - such that you could not swipe left and have five other candidates waiting for your approval. But, I’m eager to see what others will say... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 It's better for women now than in the old days when they were traded like goats. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 It's better for women now than in the old days when they were traded like goats. In some places of the world, they are still traded like goats. But yes, we have made great strides... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 I don't think it's any better or any worse than the old days, just different. I think what bothers me more than anything is that some people practically live their lives out on the computer or smartphone....these devices are supposed to tools, not be all end all.Ever gone out to dinner with someone and they periodically look at their smartphone instead of having good conversation with you? I think in some ways it's gotten out of hand. Smart phone and computer addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 I think women may have inadvertently shot themselves in the foot by being more sexually liberated.. I dunno..Add that to the fact that if you aren't a complete cretin, a willing woman is merely a click away.....Its making many guys very lazy and pretty unwilling to commit...IME, anyway... Understand, I have zero issue with any woman deciding to use her sexuality any way she wants and I would never s*** shame anyone, but I guess everything has its consequences.. Seemed like back then, while there were certainly women who could be bedded with zero effort. most made you jump through a lot of hoops...There are still women like this, but if you are a guy and don't want to, just go back to the sites and get back in the game... Ive used this (true) story in another thread. . A lifelong friend of mine., not particularly good looking, early/mid 50's. biker type of guy, no money, no great career, etc... … Well.. This guy recently divorced, set himself up on the OLD major sites.. He was regularly sleeping with more than one woman a month... More than 20 over a little over a year...Some 20 years younger...Its turning regular Joe's into players.. He couldn't do that when we were in our 20's as I witnessed it myself...He was lucky to find any woman willing to sleep with him back then... Just some thoughts...I don't have all the answers and I am not in that scene...But some of it makes sense...Some people wont commit to anything if they have a lot of options...Its too tempting for many ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 We are a mishmash of ages, ethnicities, genders, cultures, languages, appearances, social classes, sexualities, etc. I mean... it's a whole ocean of mixed up stuff out there! At least back in black/white times when everything was neatly stacked on the shelves, people were less likely to end up alone. They would just pick off the shelf what they found appropriate. Now it's a GoodWill pile on a black Friday! I think we've traded quality for quantity. Pre-Internet, one had less available candidates but knew (much) more about them and their suitability. They were people you met through work, friends, hobbies, church, etc., so typically there was also some common ground already established. Today, you can swipe left or right hundreds of people a week and see where that takes you but the filtering is gone. There are also additional political and gender minefields to navigate, something missing is less polarized times. You'll have to define "easier"... Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 (edited) Think most things were easier in the older days no matter how fantastic they tell us everything is gonna make our life these days. But here , it works a lot differently to there thank God and is still just basic and common sense, nothing to know. Even after divorce , l've still never even really dated as you guys call it, just met new people and they were all still as old school as l was, then gf. l dunno what the youngies are like here now though , they might be as crazy as the damn internet bs, doubt it though. My 17 yr old daughter simply just met her bf at a party , same way l would've back when or somewhere else. Been together ever since , and they're pretty damn cool too for their age, it's amazing to watch. Edited October 24, 2018 by Chilli 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 I don't know about the dating part but when it came to sex it must have taken forever to get all those clothes off. In the Victorian era, the pantaloons weren't closed at the crotch. It's why Can Can dancers were so popular. Though from personal experience, laying on a bed with a tight laced corset on leaves one with all the mobility of an upside down turtle. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyLibertyBelle Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Olden days meaning pre-internet, when we had “blind dates” instead of OLD? Just teasing OP. I really wouldn’t know. But, I have a feeling that people treated others a little better as it’s my opinion that kindness and civility have kind-of been lost in recent years. It’s more difficult to be rude and disrespectful to someone in person, than it is online. I also think that people were not as “disposable” as they are now - such that you could not swipe left and have five other candidates waiting for your approval. But, I’m eager to see what others will say... I think this is exactly right about kindness and civility. Without the internet to hide behind you had to be face to face with someone to get a date or a relationship going. No social media, and I was considered “lucky” that I had a phone in my room in the 80’s! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 I think this is exactly right about kindness and civility. Without the internet to hide behind you had to be face to face with someone to get a date or a relationship going. No social media, and I was considered “lucky” that I had a phone in my room in the 80’s! A phone in your room in the 80's? That's downright spoiled All my phone conversations had to happen in the dining room. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 I think women may have inadvertently shot themselves in the foot by being more sexually liberated.. I dunno..Add that to the fact that if you aren't a complete cretin, a willing woman is merely a click away.....Its making many guys very lazy and pretty unwilling to commit...IME, anyway... Understand, I have zero issue with any woman deciding to use her sexuality any way she wants and I would never s*** shame anyone, but I guess everything has its consequences.. Seemed like back then, while there were certainly women who could be bedded with zero effort. most made you jump through a lot of hoops...There are still women like this, but if you are a guy and don't want to, just go back to the sites and get back in the game... Ive used this (true) story in another thread. . A lifelong friend of mine., not particularly good looking, early/mid 50's. biker type of guy, no money, no great career, etc... … Well.. This guy recently divorced, set himself up on the OLD major sites.. He was regularly sleeping with more than one woman a month... More than 20 over a little over a year...Some 20 years younger...Its turning regular Joe's into players.. He couldn't do that when we were in our 20's as I witnessed it myself...He was lucky to find any woman willing to sleep with him back then... Just some thoughts...I don't have all the answers and I am not in that scene...But some of it makes sense...Some people wont commit to anything if they have a lot of options...Its too tempting for many ... It's the women who put down men for holding doors that have ruined it for the rest of us. B*tch say thank you, he could have let it slam in your face. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Some things are better and some things are worse. We just tend to romanticize the past and somewhat forget about the bad. For example, spousal rape wasn't a crime (in the US) 50 years ago. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 Some things are better and some things are worse. We just tend to romanticize the past and somewhat forget about the bad. For example, spousal rape wasn't a crime (in the US) 50 years ago. But that's more related to marriage, not dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 It's the women who put down men for holding doors that have ruined it for the rest of us. B*tch say thank you, he could have let it slam in your face. A lot of people who just flat out dislike the opposite sex are ruining it for everybody. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 I'm an. ehhem, upper middle age woman who holds the door open even if it makes you scoot a little bit faster to get there. Young, old, men, women, for anyone who is behind me. I have never ever been sneered at or belittled for it. A laugh, a smile, a thank you, ignored, whatever. - have great day! Hold the door open. Sheesh. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 It's the women who put down men for holding doors that have ruined it for the rest of us. B*tch say thank you, he could have let it slam in your face. They would here , what can't you guys even hold a door anymore ? Not that l hold many anyway but eh , if she caught me on a good mood day it's possible Momentary lapses of madness, yaknow ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 In the Victorian era, the pantaloons weren't closed at the crotch. It's why Can Can dancers were so popular. Though from personal experience, laying on a bed with a tight laced corset on leaves one with all the mobility of an upside down turtle. And now it's Spanx! At least you could loosen a corset! And they looked pretty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 A lot of people who just flat out dislike the opposite sex are ruining it for everybody. Cough, cough. Link to post Share on other sites
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