Insecurity with my looks and dating

[PrettyLittleNeighbor]

Sounds good, I bet you look nice.

 

If your skin is good no need to cover, eyelashes&eyebrows is a great start, maybe add lip product (even if it’s just tinted balm)?

 

What is your hairstyle?

 

I usually wear my hair in a high sleek ponytail for school but I realized its doing more harm than good for my baby face so know I'm starting to wear it down with a middle part. What's even worse is I'm getting braces this year and although I'm excited for them, I wonder if guys will still be attracted to me because of it.

[PrettyLittleNeighbor]

But at 5'6'' if she puts heels on, even if those heels are only 2 inches she'll become 5'8'' and then the guys will only be 2 inches taller than her. How will she feel feminine when usually men and women are 6 inches apart in height?

 

 

 

 

 

You don't need men to be interested in you for you to feel beautiful. Even if there weren't men around to see that you are very attractive you would still remain as you are.

 

 

 

 

 

There you go. If you have extremely hot guys interested in dating you and not just interested in sleeping with you - you are as attractive as they are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, he wants to sleep with you because you are hot. If you were obese you could have a personality more sweet that Mr Rogers and he would never want to touch you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fact that you look young isn't the reason why you aren't getting approached by guys who are much older than you. I knew a girl in college who looked like she was 15 at 22 and she was dating a 35 year old guy.

 

 

The reason why much older guys don't approach you is because they don't want to feel like they're stealing the craddle. Your age alone keeps a lot of men away from you. But, like I said before if you see a guy you are very attracted to - approach him. Go up to him and say hello. He'll appreciate it.

 

Looking back with what happened with the previous guy, I'm starting to think he lowered his standards to get with me because like I said before, he's very attractive and I'm not. When he start "liking me" I didn't think it was genuine because I'm not "hot or sexy". I fall more into the "girl next door" category because of my baby face. He would always mention that I had nice body so maybe its because of that, but still to this day, I feel like he lowered his standards.

[PrettyLittleNeighbor]

I honestly think the only way guys my age will notice me is if I start dressing very revealing and out of my comfort zone. My daily wardrobe as of right now just consists of baggy hoodies, jeans, and vans. I have cute form-fitting clothes but they're buried in my closet because of how I feel I will be looked at but oh well. I'll try and experiment to see how guys react or look at me.

[basil67]

I honestly think the only way guys my age will notice me is if I start dressing very revealing and out of my comfort zone. My daily wardrobe as of right now just consists of baggy hoodies, jeans, and vans. I have cute form-fitting clothes but they're buried in my closet because of how I feel I will be looked at but oh well. I'll try and experiment to see how guys react or look at me.

 

Dressing attractively will never go astray, but being generous with smiles will take you a lot further. Not many people have time for someone who doesn’t smile

[sabaton]

Looking back with what happened with the previous guy, I'm starting to think he lowered his standards to get with me because like I said before, he's very attractive and I'm not.

Listen, you girls grow up with instagram and twitter and facebook, and you see these artificially created divas of beauty like Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner, you folks start feeling that you need to look like that to be considered beautiful by men.

 

But the thing is, those women are surgically enhanced by world-class extremly expensive plastic surgeons, and they have entire teams of highly qualified and experienced make-up artists to make them look they descend from the Goddess of Love itself.

 

If you saw these girls at the beach and you didn't know who they were you wouldn't really pay much attention to them.

 

Beautiful women, especially the beautiful women who are young have in many cases a terrible opinion about their own looks. You don't need to be Angelina Jolie. You don't need to be a Beauty queen for many men - for hot men - to think that you are very attractive.

 

That guy you think is very attractive did not lower his standards.

 

When he start "liking me" I didn't think it was genuine because I'm not "hot or sexy". I fall more into the "girl next door" category because of my baby face.

Men are attracted to youthful looking girls. Look at Hyden Panettiere. Look at Natalie Portman. These girls are sweethearts and many a young man developed a crush over them, and to these days they still aren't curvy nor do they have large breasts, being rather ''flat'' and they're still considered to be very attractive.

 

There's nothing absolutely wrong with your looks. To many men you are beautiful, you are hot, and that includes the men you find to be attractive.

 

He would always mention that I had nice body so maybe its because of that, but still to this day, I feel like he lowered his standards.

So you have a baby face, wich means you are really cute, and you have a great body. You're already one of the most attractive girls in the Country from that alone. Now add a sweet and gentle personality, the fact that you were really attracted to him and what you have is a guy(that guy) who was extremely into you and that DID NOT lower his standards

[sabaton]

Lol hope you are sarcastic here. The 6 inch thing on dating sites is usually so women can wear their highest heels (5-6 inches) without towering over the guy.

IMO heels & (good) makeup create the difference between little girl look and feminine woman look.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I spent a couple of months in the Netherlands and the average height for women was 5'7'' with many women going past that. When they put heels they get either to be only shorter than the guy by 2 inches, or they're taller than the guy and what girl wants that?

 

 

 

I worked in a supermarket where the 18 year old girls were.. 6'1''. Add to that even the smallest of heels and it was hard for these girls to feel feminine, even if the average height for men in the Netherlands is 6 feet tall.

[No_Go]

I usually wear my hair in a high sleek ponytail for school but I realized its doing more harm than good for my baby face so know I'm starting to wear it down with a middle part. What's even worse is I'm getting braces this year and although I'm excited for them, I wonder if guys will still be attracted to me because of it.

 

Wear it down, good idea!

 

I had braces as an adult and although they didn't cause trouble in dating, the bf I had at a time was commenting they made me look juvenile. But no my teeth look perfect so... It was well worth it.

 

If you can get white braces is less noticeable, lingual ones even better...

[sabaton]

My daily wardrobe as of right now just consists of baggy hoodies, jeans, and vans.

 

 

I have no idea what vans are. And those clothes are more suited to a teenager than to a young woman. I hope you don't take that as to be offensive.

 

 

 

I have cute form-fitting clothes but they're buried in my closet because of how I feel I will be looked at but oh well. I'll try and experiment to see how guys react or look at me.

 

 

Yes! Those are the clothes that will affirm you as a young, attractive woman who isn't afraid or aprehensive about the way that she looks, because she knows she's attractive and she's comfortable in her body, and that will make her more confident and guys will appreciate it and want to talk to you more. Don't worry about it, I'm sure you look great with those clothes.

[sabaton]

Wear it down, good idea!

 

I had braces as an adult and although they didn't cause trouble in dating, the bf I had at a time was commenting they made me look juvenile. But no my teeth look perfect so... It was well worth it.

 

If you can get white braces is less noticeable, lingual ones even better...

 

 

I dated a girl who was wearing braces when she was in her early 20s, and the braces didn't make her any less cute. And she was wearing the metallic looking, noticeable braces. Guys don't care.

[No_Go]

Yeah, when I lived there I though I'm a shortie and I'm 5'7...

 

But still, nothing beats a good heel... Makes you instantly look thinner, more shapely and more elegant. IMO flat shoes look good on teenagers, and sneakers belong to the gym...

 

I don't think it's an issue if the woman is 2 inches shorter than her man in heels, it looks great that way IMO. When I go out with my BF in my high heels (I usually just do 4 inches, the higher look sl*tty to me), we have about 2 inch difference and I don't think anyone thinks I look masculine next to him

 

 

Yeah, I spent a couple of months in the Netherlands and the average height for women was 5'7'' with many women going past that. When they put heels they get either to be only shorter than the guy by 2 inches, or they're taller than the guy and what girl wants that?

 

 

 

I worked in a supermarket where the 18 year old girls were.. 6'1''. Add to that even the smallest of heels and it was hard for these girls to feel feminine, even if the average height for men in the Netherlands is 6 feet tall.

[No_Go]

I dated a girl who was wearing braces when she was in her early 20s, and the braces didn't make her any less cute. And she was wearing the metallic looking, noticeable braces. Guys don't care.

 

Actually you have a point, plus elastics are more visible on the white braces (look dirty), and lingual may give a lisp... Whatever the d-r recomments, should have no impact on dating.

[sabaton]

Actually you have a point, plus elastics are more visible on the white braces (look dirty), and lingual may give a lisp... Whatever the d-r recomments, should have no impact on dating.

 

 

if the guy likes her, she could even show up wearing army boots and a tomahawk and they'd still want a second date.

 

 

I'm sure that even though OP doesn't believe herself to be attractive -she has a lot of shy, attractive guys crushing after her that aren't asking her out only because they lack experience, are themselves unsure about their own looks, and they feel they have no chance with her, that she's out of their league.

[Normm]

But still, nothing beats a good heel...

 

 

Perky, firm, cuppable boobs with nice cleavage in between beats a good heel. At least for me. If aren't that good looking, consider cleavage your friend.

[sabaton]

Yeah, when I lived there I though I'm a shortie and I'm 5'7...

If you are 5'7'' and you live in the United States you're already taller than most women by 3 inches. And overall, on a global scale you are a lot taller than most women, and that's awesome. Height in a woman is very attractive, and tall women are always appreciated and noticed.

 

 

You are not a shortie. I'm a shortie. I'm part of the shortest people in Europe

 

But still, nothing beats a good heel... Makes you instantly look thinner, more shapely and more elegant. IMO flat shoes look good on teenagers, and sneakers belong to the gym...

Yes. I dated a 5'10'' girl who would reach 6+ with heels on and although she was already thin by default, the way it made her look was really nice to look at.

 

I don't think it's an issue if the woman is 2 inches shorter than her man in heels, it looks great that way IMO.

I dunno. I dated 2 girls who were noticeably shorter than me. They were each 4'10'', but the rest of the girls have been 5'8'' to 6'2'' and there was one girl who was 6'6'' barefoot, but she was in a relationship and what would her girlfriends say in any case.

 

I dated girls from Countries were the men are short on average(Iraqi men are 5'5'' or so, and the girls were 5'8'' and 5'9'' and yeah, the girls couldn't wear heels all that much there.

 

When I go out with my BF in my high heels (I usually just do 4 inches, the higher look sl*tty to me), we have about 2 inch difference and I don't think anyone thinks I look masculine next to him

 

 

Your boyfriend is 5'9''. That's average height in the USA, and a couple to 4 inches taller than how most men are, on a global scale. That ain't so bad, and I'm sure his broad-shoulders and muscular build are masculine enough on their own.

[sabaton]

Perky, firm, cuppable boobs with nice cleavage in between beats a good heel. At least for me. If aren't that good looking, consider cleavage your friend.

 

 

I prefer wide hips + big butt over big breasts. Small breasts are more than fine with me

[PrettyLittleNeighbor]

I've read most of the responses here and I can honestly now say that I've accept that I'll never be considered attractive by most of my male peers. Fully acknowledged and accepted this because at the end of the day, its still all very superficial for me to try to change my clothing to impress hormone-ridden guys in my 20s that only care about youth, beauty, looks and tits/ass. I only have the youth and its never been beneficial. The only time I can ever remember a guy being truly interested in me was NEVER. I'd rather have a guy be intrigued and fascinated by my character, personality, and aura than wanting to have sex or feel me up because he's feeling horny. That's the only kind of attention I've received and its gets very old.

 

I can't force guys to notice me or find me attractive because I personally don't. I have sticks as legs, small chest, baby face, and dress like a stereotypical loser from Mean Girls. At least the few people I know truly love me for me and not because I'm not an Instagram model.

[PrettyLittleNeighbor]

I prefer wide hips + big butt over big breasts. Small breasts are more than fine with me

I had to respond to this comment. I have small breats (B cup) but I'm still slim from the rest of my body. No wide hips or big butt. Not thin, but just regular slim. I have the body of an underdeveloped girl. My best body feature AT MOST are my elongated legs, flat stomach, & small waist. Hopefully my body widens and matures by age 23.

Edited November 3, 2018 by PrettyLittleNeighbor

[d0nnivain]

I hate my body.

 

This is actually your biggest problem, not what you look like but how you feel. You don't like yourself so it's tough for other people to like you.

 

I know you claim not to be influenced or burdened by superficial thinks but then you complain that men don't find you attractive. What are you willing to change to change people's responses to you? If your answer is "you shouldn't have to change" then you will remain unhappy.

 

I really am not suggesting you become somebody you are not but trading in sloppy androgynous clothes for something more feminine that boosts your confidence & makes you happy will help.

[nospam99]

Some of my peers at school have told me I have a nice, athletic figure but I'm so slim and petite.

 

OP, you posted again today so I went back and reread your first post. Nice, athletic, slim, petite? You also sound quite a bit 'down' on yourself. I don't know if this applies, but I recently mentioned Yelena Isinbayeva https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f4/Isinbayeva_Berlin_2009.jpg in a thread about men preferring 'average' women. 'Flat as a board' (at least while she's in training) but 'nice, athletic,slim' and, IMHO, sexy as hell. Just sayin'