Ukhusband Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Evening all - Really need some help and advise!!!! So sorry for the long post! My wife and I are on the verge of splitting up after a year of marriage. We have been together nearly 7 years, to say that we have had our ups and downs is an understatement! In a nutshell, I am the reason why our marriage will cease to exist. I love my wife with all my heart and would do anything for her. The only thing is she doesn't believe it as my actions aren't matched by my words. I can talk the talk but cannot walk the walk. In the past I have betrayed her trust and made stupid decisions, but just recently I lost my temper out of frustration and said some nasty things - again this was born out of frustration! A little over 3 weeks ago it was our first wedding anniversary, she booked us a day out and I did nothing apart from buy some flowers which she had to nag me into buying. The problem I am having at the moment is that I can think of things I'd like us both to do but I cannot actually go through and carry the action out. This sounds so stupid and selfish when I rationally think about it, but yet when it comes to doing similar stuff with out young children I don't have a problem doing it - no wonder my wife feels that I don't love her and want to spend time with her. I'm so so confused I am really struggling with what has triggered this. I have been recently diagnosed with depression also. Any help is welcome!! Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 We have been together nearly 7 years Any relationship that takes 7 years to arrive at marriage, is chocked full of problems somewhere. My wife and I are on the verge of splitting up after a year of marriage. Because: ...I said some nasty things ...I did nothing apart from buy some flowers which she had to nag me into ...I can think of things I'd like us both to do but I cannot actually go through and carry the action out.This is incoherent. There is way way more details in this that have in no way been described. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 l don't know about depression but you said you love her , and you have children together. So then save it and fix this, for your kids and because you love her, they're two huge things. You can do it , maybe baby steps could be the answer. Plan something small for you guys , better do it soon. Maybe you can build up a little more bit by bit as you figure out your issue on the sideline but most important first of all tell her how you feel and show her you love her , she really needs to know that and feel it. That costs nothing, you don't even have to leave the house , just make sure she knows it no ifs no buts , would be a great place to start. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
A O Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Perhaps, professional help maybe worth thinking about here, given the level of confusion and length of your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 This is incoherent. There is way way more details in this that have in no way been described. Hard to disagree. My wife and I are on the verge of splitting up after a year of marriage. We have been together nearly 7 years, to say that we have had our ups and downs is an understatement! So you were together 6 years and things were good enough that you moved to engagement and marriage. And then, in the last 12 months, it's all fallen apart - because of you? Have you become a drug abuser, sex addict, gamble-aholic? Not enough there to even offer an opinion. OP, you'll have to fill this in... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 An honest question for yourself to think about: what took you 7 years to get married? Link to post Share on other sites
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