Chassit Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 I can't stand these dreams, nothing makes me feel worse than waking up to a dream about her. They aren't sexy or violent or anything weird. Just a mundane day in our life together and when I wake up to them, MY DAY IS SHOT! Any ideas on how to cope with this? I am at a point that I do OK if I don't have a dream... Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Waking up from dreams/nightmares about my ex was the worst. I’d like to think it was my brain’s way of processing what happened, but they sucked nonetheless and started my day off on a crappy note. I would have a dream that we were back together and feel good for all of two seconds until the reality of the situation hit me like a punch in the balls as I woke up. All I can say is that with time they will lessen and won’t impact you as much. The length of time varies on how much you loved her and your life experiences. Interestingly, I had also experienced dreams of other past loves/heartbreaks while I was healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 Thank you for the response, I appreciate hearing that. Link to post Share on other sites
KissingFire Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 Ah, dreams are a killer, aren't they? I have no advice for you my friend, only to say that you're not alone. I go to bed already exhausted from mourning our relationship and my brain has the audacity to go and dream about the pr*ck all night long. I wake up and the gut wrenching reality that our mundane life is no more is quite haunting. It's sad, but in our dreams we are a happy, normal couple. Something we were anything but. We had our happy times, it wasn't completely horrific, but they were far and few between. I think that's my brain trying to slot in new memories where old ones didn't exist. I hold my ex on a pedestal right now and I know it. He was a bit of a monster at times, but I loved him regardless of his issues. Once he's off the pedestal, I hope the dreams that shine a light on him and try to convince me that he would ever change and the future for us I desperately wanted would never happen will start to fade as my feelings for him fade as well. Still, I loved him more than I loved myself, and that there is a damn mess let me tell you. Who knows how long it'll take for me to finally accept that he will always be a violent, angry man. Stay strong. x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 I am at a point that I do OK if I don't have a dream... There are supplements on the market that are supposed to reduce dreams. A couple of years ago, my father was complaining about some violent dreams, so I did some research and ordered a supplement for him (I don't remember which one). He said they reduced (but did not completely eliminate) his violent dreams. Perhaps you can do some research and see if a supplement might help. Just my two cents... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 Thanks to both of you. I will look into the supplements you were recommending Lemming. Of course, now I can't sleep . I thought I would be doing better after three months honestly. But then, our would be fifth anniversary is coming up in less than two weeks and I am pretty anxious about that as well. I know I shouldn't be but I can't seem to help but to think about it. Anyways, thanks again you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Your subconscious mind processes what your conscious mind isn't processing. So what you need to do is a few minutes before you try to go to sleep in earnest, make a point of devoting just maybe 2 minutes to thinking about the situation. Kind of like, What happened? Where does it stand now? Is there anything I can do about it? If the last answer is yes, then do something about it. If it's no, remind yourself that there's no point worrying about something you have no power to change. Then go to sleep. You shouldn't have as many dreams about it at least if you process your thoughts on it while awake. Because you say your dreams on the subject are mundane, then I feel that is all there is to it. However, it is true that the subconscious will process things your conscious mind is not quite ready to deal with, though oftentimes that happens in a dream you can't remember well or maybe at all. If you remember the details, chances are you are ready to process that while awake anyway, which seems to be the case here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I will give that a shot tonight, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
KissingFire Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I will give that a shot tonight, thank you. It didn't work for me. I went to bed in total peace last night, the first time I haven't cried myself to sleep and I calmed myself down and finally admitted that what will be will be. Had an incredible sex dream about him that woke me up. I was extremely frustrated and it has put me in a vile mood for the rest of the day. Oh well. My friend laughed when I told her, and while I laugh along, I secretly feel gutted. I crave him and he is sleeping with someone else. Deep breaths... Keep it going... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 It didn't work for me. I went to bed in total peace last night, the first time I haven't cried myself to sleep and I calmed myself down and finally admitted that what will be will be. Had an incredible sex dream about him that woke me up. I was extremely frustrated and it has put me in a vile mood for the rest of the day. Oh well. My friend laughed when I told her, and while I laugh along, I secretly feel gutted. I crave him and he is sleeping with someone else. Deep breaths... Keep it going... I am sorry it did not work. I will still have to try because I can't just do nothing. As far as the other goes, yeah she moved right in from my place to this new guy's place so I definitely feel you there. I still don't get how she could do that to me. Link to post Share on other sites
KissingFire Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I am sorry it did not work. I will still have to try because I can't just do nothing. As far as the other goes, yeah she moved right in from my place to this new guy's place so I definitely feel you there. I still don't get how she could do that to me. Good luck, I hope it works for you. I will try again tonight. I'm sorry to hear that your ex moved on straight away, really, I am. I can't offer any advice because I'm still feeling so betrayed, but just know you're not alone in what you're feeling. I can't even be mad at my ex because he hasn't been obvious about it or rubbed my face in it. It's been through my own stupid snooping that I found out he's seeing someone else. A lesson to be learned there for sure... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 Good luck, I hope it works for you. I will try again tonight. I'm sorry to hear that your ex moved on straight away, really, I am. I can't offer any advice because I'm still feeling so betrayed, but just know you're not alone in what you're feeling. I can't even be mad at my ex because he hasn't been obvious about it or rubbed my face in it. It's been through my own stupid snooping that I found out he's seeing someone else. A lesson to be learned there for sure... Thanks for all of the support here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I do understand the feeling of betrayal as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chassit Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 Well I only slept for a few hours, had the damn dream. Hopefully I will get to sleep again soo. I am just so depressed at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
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