loststarsx Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Long story short, I now have proof that my ex of almost one month cheated on me. The breadcrumbs and mixed signals he sent me and my anxiety, led me to seek more answers. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and I reached the not so shocking realization that moving on is essential right now. I'm stubborn and this gave me that final push. I have two choices and feel conflicted. Choice 1: "I know you cheated." I get this off my chest and he'll know the jig is up. This will not change anything, will likely drive him closer to her, and in a way may relieve the guilt he will carry. Choice 2: Continue indefinite no contact, knowing I walked away from his final breadcrumb and last goodbye with a shred of dignity, and not say anything. If he ever chooses to contact me somewhere down the line, I will tell him I knew all along. In the meantime, he can live what he did. (But hey, he's avoidant and probably does not even care.) With this choice, I have nothing to do with whatever he has going on with her, and am not their common enemy. I want to bow out in a wise manner, but I feel really angry and like a doormat. I was cheated on in the past and never spoke up. Now that it happened again, I feel like a fool. In conclusion, when you play detective, you will find things that hurt you. My intuition was right. If you're reading this, don't even go down this rabbit hole. The "grass is greener on the other side" woman is perfect, which perhaps is the most maddening of all. Link to post Share on other sites
Felt Better Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Choice 2. If he comes back, ignore some more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 You have thought this out this far, so what would be the advantages that you can see of letting him know you know? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Just let it go, but if he contacts you anytime in the future, as soon as he does, say, "I don't talk to cheaters" and hang up and block him. Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Definitely choice #2. Just leave it. It always feels so tempting to tell someone all about themselves or their betrayal, but it's almost never worth it. Disappear; let him wonder; focus on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 You now know this person cheated. That fact won't bring the person back to you. If you think you will have more peace in your life 20+ years from now, go ahead & tell the EX you know but then implement NC. What else is there? You can't take the cheater back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loststarsx Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 I ended up sending a message because I know myself and would regret not saying anything in the long run. I kept it short and did not say anything mean. "Holden" did not reply, surprise surprise. It's cool, though. I'm secretly happy my gut was right and that I wasn't crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
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