Daltrey01 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Hello, I am almost 40 and never have had a girlfriend. I'd really love some help/advice, and at this point have resorted to posting on message boards. I used to think I just "failed at life" but that's not really true, I've done decently at life, at least. I have a job I enjoy that pays me pretty well, I have friends, I have interests and hobbies. But pretty much since I was 15 up until now any and every time I tried to ask a girl out, or come on to someone or ask someone out they have said no. I don't really know what's so unappealing about me; I'm willing to accept it's because I'm terribly ugly, but I don't know how to determine that. I mean, I can look in the mirror and see I'm not very attractive, but also I have seen many other men throughout life that didn't look all that great but had wives/girlfriends. What's wrong with me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
max3732 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Hello, I am almost 40 and never have had a girlfriend. I'd really love some help/advice, and at this point have resorted to posting on message boards. I used to think I just "failed at life" but that's not really true, I've done decently at life, at least. I have a job I enjoy that pays me pretty well, I have friends, I have interests and hobbies. But pretty much since I was 15 up until now any and every time I tried to ask a girl out, or come on to someone or ask someone out they have said no. I don't really know what's so unappealing about me; I'm willing to accept it's because I'm terribly ugly, but I don't know how to determine that. I mean, I can look in the mirror and see I'm not very attractive, but also I have seen many other men throughout life that didn't look all that great but had wives/girlfriends. What's wrong with me? What are you doing to find a girlfriend? I've had one serious girlfriend and am almost 40 also. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Daltrey01 Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 What are you doing to find a girlfriend? I've had one serious girlfriend and am almost 40 also. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you All sorts of things, earlier in my life, pre-internet just asking girls if they wanted to go to a movie/get a drink etc. Tried online dating every now and again over the last 10 years or so. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 What's wrong with me? you need confidence. you said you have money. ok, then go to a nice hotel and get a room. then call an escort agency and tell them about the type of escort you would like. when she arrives tell her about the problems you have with women, then have sex with her. I promise she will be nice and friendly. After sex pay her and say thanks then go home (or stay at the hotel) Do this over and over again until you raise your confidence level with women. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Parents should encourage young people to have gf/bf while still in high school. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Parents should encourage young people to have gf/bf while still in high school. what about your grades and your studies? how are you going to get into med school or get that MBA if you're out frolicking with your bf/gf instead of studying? Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 what about your grades and your studies? how are you going to get into med school or get that MBA if you're out frolicking with your bf/gf instead of studying? Well, that's when you flunk out and give up your dreams to marry your gf / bf and become Al Bundy's apprentice, a Junior Shoe Salesman at the local Mall... but hey, it's all good because after all, you'll have a wife like Peg Bundy to come home to Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 (edited) OP: Can I ask you five personal questions? I hope you don't take offense to them? 1) Do you think you have an unhealthy view on sex or have some form of sexual addiction or have been told you do? 2) Do you have lots of one night stands/casual sex with strangers? 3) Do you obsessively watch porn? 4) Were you ever the victim of sexual assault or aggression when you were younger or witnessed this happen to someone else close to you? 5) Do you have any pent up resentment towards women based on negative interactions with one who was close to you growing up? Edited October 28, 2018 by loverboy69 Link to post Share on other sites
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 I don't think intimacy with an escort will help him gaining confidence with women No, but it will have him getting sex. He can get himself a 30 year old escort who's been in the business for the past 10 years or so, who has a lot of experience with virgins, and after the experience he'll realize how good sex is, and he'll start thinking about how sex with an emotional connection is even better, and he'll decide to improve himself in whatever area he feels he's lacking, leading him to gain the necessary confidence to get a girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 What's wrong with me? Are you happy? That's the first question to ask yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 what about your grades and your studies? how are you going to get into med school or get that MBA if you're out frolicking with your bf/gf instead of studying? You can do both! Kids that start wholesome dating with parental guidance are less likely to go crazy over someone. And love is a great motivator. A lot of lonely kids just hide and play video games instead of studying. Everyone should frolick a bit between studies ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Its a mixed bag with relationships. I seems to me the younger you are when you havea LTR. Those are the ones that fall apart. Or one person in the couple is restless. In my head. It takes about 10 to 12 yrs after High School for one to really get their footing on life. So 40 and not having a relationship is no big deal. You can do Online dating for practice, until you click with someone. In real life. When you meet a woman. Right away in a casual way. Find out if she is single and start from there. Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 No, but it will have him getting sex. He can get himself a 30 year old escort who's been in the business for the past 10 years or so, who has a lot of experience with virgins, and after the experience he'll realize how good sex is, and he'll start thinking about how sex with an emotional connection is even better, and he'll decide to improve himself in whatever area he feels he's lacking, leading him to gain the necessary confidence to get a girlfriend. Just because OP hasn't had a gf, doesn't mean he is a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
sabaton Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Just because OP hasn't had a gf, doesn't mean he is a virgin. have a job I enjoy that pays me pretty well, I have friends, I have interests and hobbies. But pretty much since I was 15 up until now any and every time I tried to ask a girl out, or come on to someone or ask someone out they have said He has never managed to get a girl to go out with him but he magically managed to convince a girl to have sex with him? How does that work? Someone can start playing for the starting lineup of Real Madrid while never having kicked a ball? Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) He has never managed to get a girl to go out with him but he magically managed to convince a girl to have sex with him? How does that work? Someone can start playing for the starting lineup of Real Madrid while never having kicked a ball? If can totally happen and has happened to me at times. Tho I'm not into hook ups so I always said no. I remember being in college and just being in a common area late night and having it become a "potential" hookup environment. We were alone, quiet maybe studying or even just hanging out. I always said no, but if I wanted to it could happen. With male acquiances or friends. No asking a girl out required. Edit: Not that the hookup would happen in that common room lol Edited November 1, 2018 by HiCrunchy Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Seem like this was a drive by, if the thread starter shows back up and wants the thread re-opened then alert on my post and we will do so, thanks all who participated. Link to post Share on other sites
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