I like this girl very much and she backed up on me in a way

[Kulonen]

So I met this girl little under 2 months a go and we were really attracted to eachother, we both seemed to knock each others socks off and though I know men are supposed to play it cool in the beginning, this time I just couldn’t. We are in the same class and I just moved to this city so I didn’t have any content in my days and I didnt want to make up excuses that I have something better to do.

 

We ended up hanging out every day for 6 weeks, that was a mistake, we both started feeling a little scared in a way because things were moving so quickly. We even started calling each other with cute nicknames and stuff and it really felt like a relationship. She started talking about ”us” going to a party for example like are we going to the next student party this saturday etc.

 

Then few days a go she said that she could go home for a while and that maybe we should only be friends because we are in the same class for next 4 years so we have plenty of time etc. She said in a sad way that this conversation always changes things and I said that it doesn’t have to, that she shouldnt worry that much. She still stayed at my place for the night and we both skipped school the next day and laid in my bed quiet sleeping until 5pm until she had to go to her rehearsal, I believe that was because both of us knew that its going to be uncertain what happens after she leaves, if we will ever be like that again. At the end of the conversation I said that she shouldnt hesitate to ask me to see her and she said the same to me.

 

She used to text me a lot and reach out to me a lot and I was there always to respond, I also went to her rehearsals and it was very much like a relationship from the second week after we met. She was very jealous of me also in parties etc when I got attention from other girls.

 

Now she hasnt reached out to me in 5 days and in school she makes eye contact with me but when I get close she avoids me, I’ve also noticed that she dressed up better and wore make up in school even though she didn’t do that before. She also skipped 2 parties this week where she was supposed to come to when we spoke about these a week a go.

 

now I dont know if I should reach out to her or is it only going to chase her away or should I contact her in a ”fun”-type of way and ask her for a date or should I ask her to have a conversation about where we are now. She even still has my home keys which she hasnt yet returned to me. i like this girl very much and she’s the girl of my dreams by all means.

 

Does she want me to pursuit her or does she just need space? Please I need help with this, this situstion is so wierd and I feel so sad but I try to act happy and nice when we’re in the same place.

[d0nnivain]

Contact her to get your keys back. If she doesn't give them back, pay to change your locks.

 

Meanwhile get more involved in school. Join something. Volunteer somewhere. Ask a different person in class to study with you but widen your social circle so you aren't as dependent on her.

[Normm]

The most troubling aspect of your entire situation is that you gave your house keys to a person you hardly knew.

[preraph]

I see why you're confused as to what she wants. So I'll just try to boil it down to the bare bones.

 

You were going hot and heavy and she asked for a change in the situation. She wasn't wanting commitment. She wanted to see you less, even though as she said, you are in the same classes together for the next four years.

 

When people go off to college, they usually want to fully experience college and all the possibilities, and not many prior relationships survive that. And that's because the more you are out in the world, the bigger you see that your options are, and the more you want to explore. The more you explore, the more you change. And you very often grow in different directions than your old friends.

 

She doesn't want to be tied down anymore. She is probably scared and unsure of her own decision, but like she said, you'll be in the same class the next four years, so there's plenty of time (for her to repair this if she regrets breaking up with you.)

 

So you are broken up and you should NOT ask her on any dates, but you should get your keys back and start dating other girls and making new friends. You don't want to finally get a new girlfriend, only to have her barge in with her own set of keys and ruin it. She's going to see other people. So you should to. She's not your girlfriend anymore. Women do NOT like to be chased by men they've told they want to see less of. It's creepy. It's desperate. Don't do it.

 

It's easy for many women to go from bf/gf to "just friends," but nearly impossible for guys, so you've got to let her know that isn't going to work for you, because that is exactly where this is headed.

 

If this goes as it's headed now, with you being stuck seeing her the next four years, and pining away for her and it being awkward, I would be hoping one of you would switch schools or classes because that is going to be too hard.

 

She knows where you are. She did the breaking up and she can contact you if she decides to. But again, I think she will just want you to be "just friends" and be perfectly happy doing that and then dating other guys. So you need to be clear with her you are not down for that and that it's dating or not seeing each other so you can both move on.