Can I get her back? Even after an sti I didn’t know I had and never cheated

[Yogamind]

Hi guys it’s my first post on here and i’m Going through a terrible time. Basically I met this girl in mid June and by the end of July we we’re a couple. She used to say she had fell so hard for me etc and I was the same I couldn’t believe I had met who I had met i literally felt like I had met the person I was going to marry even in such a short space of time (I don’t fall easily for people at all).

 

Basically long story short last week she calls me up on about a week and a half ago saying she wasn’t feeling it anymore and it’s nothing I have done that I am a lovely person and she just didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and that her feelings had changed towards me. She quoted little things that she would not tell me as being the reason for her ending it. For a week or so prior to this call she had been snapping at me but I put this down to work as she has been so stressed lately. I was absolutely heartbroken cried for 2 days straight and have still been crying the last week.

 

Anyway on the Monday 4 days later she calls me up and starts screaming at me saying I have given her chlamydia and calling me all sorts of terrible names making me feel the lowest of the low. I didn’t even know I had it because the last girl I slept with was in 2017 and I always use protection. so I was absolutely gobsmacked that this was happening. Of course the next day I went and got tested and got all the required medication but I feel absolutely terrible. I have lost the love of my life and then this happened 4 days later. The next day after this we smoothed things over and I was apologising profusely saying I didn’t know and would never have put her at risk if I knew etc.

 

Anyway we left it at that and she seemed better and at least able to talk to me. Fast forward 2 days we see each other and she can’t even talk to me, she treated me like I was dirt again and couldn’t even hold a conversation with me. What is going on? I’ve literally lost the love of my life, one of my best friends and also this has happened making it ten times worse.i’v been Nothing but nice to her the whole time we have known each other and I feel terrible for what I have done but I can’t take that back now

 

Do you think their is any chance at all I can get her back at all or have I lost her for good? She was in a 3 year relationship 4 months prior to going out with me if people think that’s why?

Edited October 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[FMW]

Most likely she wasn't over her ex yet.

 

I wouldn't just accept her assertion that you gave her the sti. It's possible she gave it to you. She clearly had at least one other sexual partner more recently than you have.

 

My guess is that although she may be the "love of your life" to this point, she's not the ultimate one. Give yourself some time and you'll probably start seeing this all more clearly, including getting a little angry with how she's handled everything.

[Yogamind]

Most likely she wasn't over her ex yet.

 

I wouldn't just accept her assertion that you gave her the sti. It's possible she gave it to you. She clearly had at least one other sexual partner more recently than you have.

 

My guess is that although she may be the "love of your life" to this point, she's not the ultimate one. Give yourself some time and you'll probably start seeing this all more clearly, including getting a little angry with how she's handled everything.

 

she told me she had been tested after her last boyfriend. do you really think she is not over him yet? even after 4 months of being on her own and then 3 months of going out with me? she was saying things like I can't believe iv met you and really acted like I was different. she ended it over phonecall by the way and didn't really even want to meet up to discuss it. i just can't believe it i fell for her so much and i never do fall for people like that

[Yogamind]

she told me she had been tested after her last boyfriend. do you really think she is not over him yet? even after 4 months of being on her own and then 3 months of going out with me? she was saying things like I can't believe iv met you and really acted like I was different. she ended it over phonecall by the way and didn't really even want to meet up to discuss it. i just can't believe it i fell for her so much and i never do fall for people like that

 

and she has not deleted any images of me off facebook etc and she was angry when I deleted her off facebook but she keeps showing up where she knows I'll be? I just can't get my head around it.

[bathtub-row]

I agree. She probably gave the STI to you. Putting the blame on you was her way of deflecting the attention off of herself. You might want to ask the doctor if there was any other way to contract that particular STI - like a toilet seat, etc. If he says no, then you know what happened.

 

All that aside, the fact that she lit into you so quickly and accused you doesn’t say much for her personality. She could’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, but she didn’t. Which is another reason why I suspect that she was cheating on you. She instantly blamed you. While you may think her reaction was understandable, it actually isn’t given the fact that you haven’t been with anyone else recently.

[bathtub-row]

If you think she still wants you back, then talk to your doctor about the STI and convey that to her. Explain that if there were other ways to contract it, to try and figure it out. If she sees that you’re trying to figure out other ways one of you could’ve contracted it, maybe she’ll come around and realize you’re innocent here.

[Yogamind]

I agree. She probably gave the STI to you. Putting the blame on you was her way of deflecting the attention off of herself. You might want to ask the doctor if there was any other way to contract that particular STI - like a toilet seat, etc. If he says no, then you know what happened.

 

All that aside, the fact that she lit into you so quickly and accused you doesn’t say much for her personality. She could’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, but she didn’t. Which is another reason why I suspect that she was cheating on you. She instantly blamed you. While you may think her reaction was understandable, it actually isn’t given the fact that you haven’t been with anyone else recently.

 

you think so? I don't know when she could have cheated on me though. she had had the burning sensation when weeing for about 2 months but none of us put 2 and 2 together as we both assumed we were both clean. I have been nothing but nice to her the whole time telling her how I feel and after we smoothed things out I thought we would be at least able to have a conversation together. 2 days later she says hello but when I try and speak to her she basically tells me to go away so confused man haha she's gone from being an absolute angel towards me to not even wanting to speak to me because I did "little things" in her opinion that made her not want to be with me and now the chlamydia is involved I'm so confused haha. even the night before she broke up with me she was planning what we could do together in the next few weeks and then bam 10 hours later she ends it. I just want her back haha

[Yogamind]

If you think she still wants you back, then talk to your doctor about the STI and convey that to her. Explain that if there were other ways to contract it, to try and figure it out. If she sees that you’re trying to figure out other ways one of you could’ve contracted it, maybe she’ll come around and realize you’re innocent here.

 

she says the sti that I supposedly gave her was nothing to do with the reason we broke up. the only reason she gives me is she says it was little things I did and that I am a lovely person but she does not want to be in a relationship and that we can be friends but then when I try and talk to her she gets all angry at me! wtf haha and by the way, the only time I tried to speak to her is when we see each other in the gym so it's unavoidable and I just don't want it to be awkward. I love this girl man I just want her to be happy even if it's with or without me but she's absolutely the most special person I have ever met. I can't handle it if she is always angry at me when we see each other. why is this? she also told me after the break up she did not realize how much I liked her.

[bathtub-row]

You seemed to indicate that she ended things with you because of the STI. If that’s not the case, then let her end it and leave her alone. My guess is that she thinks you’re insecure or immature, based on your posts. When someone says it’s little things, then there’s something not right and it’s likely not going to work. But if you act depressed or needy toward her, you’ll just confirm what she already thinks about you. Just say a brief hi when you see her and go your merry way. She won’t expect you to act that way, and may decide she made a mistake ending things with you.

[Yogamind]

You seemed to indicate that she ended things with you because of the STI. If that’s not the case, then let her end it and leave her alone. My guess is that she thinks you’re insecure or immature, based on your posts. When someone says it’s little things, then there’s something not right and it’s likely not going to work. But if you act depressed or needy toward her, you’ll just confirm what she already thinks about you. Just say a brief hi when you see her and go your merry way. She won’t expect you to act that way, and may decide she made a mistake ending things with you.

 

Ye she finished it before we found about about the sti. So you think if I just say hi she might start regretting her decision and talking to me again? I know for a fact her feelings can’t just change overnight. Literally said it was little things and that i’m lovely. God man I miss her haha it’s been 10 days now!