Why did he behave friendly like this AFTER BREAKUP?

[sala93]

Hello to you all,

 

It's been over 5 months since my ex and I broke up, and 3 months since I last saw my ex (had to give him his second phone back in person).

 

I'd like some clarity on why he acted the way he did when I met up with him, and in what he texted after that, three months ago. I can't quite understand it. Need your help.

 

Backstory: we were in a LDR as he was on a working holiday in my country and looking for a job in another city in my country (he couldn't find one in mine). We broke up after I told him he wasn't calling anymore or messaging anything affectionate anymore beyond how was your days and how are you's, and that I deserve better than that (to which he didn't reply anything at all! So I don't know if I broke up with him, or if he ghosted me).

 

I messaged him 2 months later asking him to let me know if he still wants one of his phones back which he had never asked about since the breakup. He said yes, and we later arranged to meet when he came back to my city.

 

Meeting up: I was expecting an awkward and quick hi, here's ya phone, bye. But he got up from where he was sitting where I met him, and walked me out to the door, then asked me if I've eaten dinner. He poked my face affectionately like he used to. Whenever I thought he'd say goodbye (like when we reached the door, or reached the end of the hallway, etc), he instead asked questions. He offered to walk me back to my car, and we had a good chat and laughs on the walk there.

I kept it brief as I felt a bit awkward and thought I have to show high standards or something, even though inside I was really hoping he'd mention hanging out with me for longer (I was still into him). I got into my car and he closed the door for me (which I left open on purpose... so he'd say something about staying! But he shut it .

 

Then after I left, he texted saying thank you and take care, to which I replied no worries, you too. I thought that would be it, but he asked a lot of questions... he asked me what did I eat for dinner? He asked why I didn't suggest having dinner with him? He asked why didn't I say that, with lots of laugh emoji's. I was suprised he made it sound like something normal to do, because I didn't think it would've been normal to just go have dinner with my ex like that... He said if he had more money then we should've eaten together. He asked how my job searching is going (I'm a student looking for a part-time job). He asked when I'll be in the new area he's travelling to (because when we met up and I found out he's moving to this certain place I told him oh hey I'm actually keen to go on holiday there in the near future).

 

Then two days later he messaged to say his phone has the smell of my perfume rubbed off on it. After I replied, he said it's ok because he really likes the smell.

 

THEN no message after that ever again.

 

What happened?

[ExpatInItaly]

He might have been hoping to hook up the day you saw him.

 

Thereafter, who knows - perhaps he'd hit a dry spell and was looking some flirting and attention. I don't think I'd take his interactions seriously, as it sounds like he's rather flighty and has moved on to the next interest.

 

How long were you together?

[sala93]

But he didn't ASK me to hang out with him or have dinner with him that day. He simply asked me (AFTER i left) why I didn't ask him.

 

We were together for a few months. I really liked him but felt he wasn't putting much effort in anymore, and his reason was that he "knows he should be a better boyfriend but can't at the moment because he's got a lot going on".

[sala93]

But he didn't ASK me to hang out with him for longer or have dinner with him that night. He simply asked me (AFTER i left) why I didn't ask him.

 

We were together for a few months. I really liked him but felt he wasn't putting much effort in anymore, and his reason was that he "knows he should be a better boyfriend but can't at the moment because he's got a lot going on".

[ExpatInItaly]

But he didn't ASK me to hang out with him or have dinner with him that day. He simply asked me (AFTER i left) why I didn't ask him.

We were together for a few months. I really liked him but felt he wasn't putting much effort in anymore, and his reason was that he "knows he should be a better boyfriend but can't at the moment because he's got a lot going on".

 

Well, yeah, exactly. He openly admitted he didn't have money to have dinner with you, so what was he going to ask you for without sounding obvious? He probably wanted you to make the first move there. After all, it was you offered to return a phone he hadn't even asked about. He probably guessed it was a disguised attempt to see if he was still interested, but when you didn't hint you wanted anything else, he carried on.

 

In any event, he wasn't boyfriend material for you. He knows it, and was probably up for a bit of casual fun after the breakup - if you opened that proverbial door. But since you didn't, he's bounced again.

[sala93]

Well, yeah, exactly. He openly admitted he didn't have money to have dinner with you, so what was he going to ask you for without sounding obvious? He probably wanted you to make the first move there. After all, it was you offered to return a phone he hadn't even asked about. He probably guessed it was a disguised attempt to see if he was still interested, but when you didn't hint you wanted anything else, he carried on.

 

In any event, he wasn't boyfriend material for you. He knows it, and was probably up for a bit of casual fun after the breakup - if you opened that proverbial door. But since you didn't, he's bounced again.

 

So... you think he didn't want to just have dinner with me, he actually just wanted only sex?

He could've just asked to hang out, without any money involved.

 

Could it have been that he genuinely was just being polite and interested in how I'd been lately hence all the questions after I left?

 

Or, instead, I thought maybe he was really surprised I didn't show more interest, hence all the questions he asked after I left. Maybe even a bruise to his ego, I don't know.