The man of my life won't share the same bank account with me??

[maja]

Hi, I have been with my man for little over 2 years and we have lived together for a year. We plan and talk about being together forever. He always tell me that I am the "love of his life". I asked him the other day for him to add me to his checking account and he seemed offended. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to share an account with me since he talks about us being together forever? Is he not ready?? I'm confused?

[Outcast]

Are you making the same amount of money as him? Are you planning to put money into that account?

 

Really, until you are legally married, it seems foolish to join your accounts. I'm sure he's heard plenty of horror tales from friends about scorned gfs who empty the account and go.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Given some of your past posts, it doesn't surprise me! All you can do is not push it with him. Perhaps he would rather join up your accounts like that after he is married to you.

 

Is he still avoiding the subject of marriage with you? Is he still paranoid and controlling? Is he still calling up this unknown woman you mentioned in your earlier posts? Whatever happened with that?

[933KJL]

Why do you need to be added to his account? There is no reason unless you have a common law state and then BINGO the funds are comingled and they are fair game for a court division should you divorce.

 

To be fair to both of you, open up a joint account and you each "feed" that account (or accounts) as agreed from your own.

 

From that account you pay your common bills--rent, food, entertainment, utilities, etc. From your accoutn and his account you pay you own bills--your car, his visa, etc.

 

Determine how much of your weekly paycheck goes to each....say 50% goes to the joint checking 20% goes to a joint savings--the forever account whee you can save for a house or somethign, and 15% to your personal checking account and the remaining 15% to your personal savings account.

[maja]

I'm a full time student, I have no money to put into the account, he's basically providing that for me so that was the reason why I brought the shared account topic up. Since I’m always asking for money for groceries, ect., why not him just put me on his account and give me the atm card?

We have had some troubles in the past, but it seems like we've grew apart from that. We don't specifically talk about "marriage" or "wedding" pursue, but he does say things like that I'm the love of his life, we will be together and all that good stuff so if he is thinking of me being his wife then that's why I was or am confused on why he won't share an account with me.

[betterwife]

Hello you can't get wifey benefits until you become one. Wake you and smell the coffee

[Kitteney]

He/She who makes the gold, makes the rules.

 

A two-year relationship does not entitle you to have a key to the vault.

 

Maybe you could lobby for an allowance where a set amount of cash is set aside each week/pay period that will be used for groceries, etc. Show him you are responsible and if that doesn't work, you could always send him off to work with your shopping list.

[RecordProducer]

We don't specifically talk about "marriage" or "wedding" pursue, but he does say things like that I'm the love of his life...

 

Then why do you want him to entitle you to take money from his account? Kitteney put it well: the one who makes the money makes the rules. He might be cheap or controlling and that's another issue. But right now you are not his wife. If he marries you, it will most likely be when you finish school and start working. Perhaps you could find some compromise about having money for groceries. It seems that he wants to stimulate you to have your own job, career, and money and in the long run he is right. He doesn't want to let you "fall asleep" now and rely on him and then if you don't get married, you will feel handicapped, because you're used to him supporting you. Just like I make my children eat, dress, brush their teeths, etc. all by them selves, because I don't think it's fair to them if I do all instead of them - I want them to develop in independednt personalities, capable of doing everything on their own with time.

[bluechocolate]

I have no money to put into the account, he's basically providing that for me so that was the reason why I brought the shared account topic up. Since I’m always asking for money for groceries, etc.,

 

You've been living together a for a year now, you as a full time student with no independent income? I'd have thought two people would have sorted this kind of sh*t out by now. If you're responsible for groceries, etc. then I think you have a reasonable expectation to an allowance, but not necessarily access to his bank account. Setting up a joint account for that purpose would amount to the same thing, as you have nothing to contribute at this time.

[ziggue]

My boyfriend and I live together and don't share our accounts. Not our personal ones anyway. That doesn't worry me at all.

 

We do have a seperate one we share for bills, groceries and rent but I guess you can only do that if you both contribute to it. We have agreed to split the money between us if we ever brake up. Hopefully we'll never have to deal with that but you have to prepare yourself if something like that ever does happen.

 

Just be happy that he does love you enough to provide for you while you are studying. .

 

I agree with what Kitteney basically said. Just get him to put a certain amount of money that he can give to you each week for groceries etc.

[Topper]

I would say your boyfriend is a smart man. You have no right what so ever to his accounts. Now lets put this in reverse if you were supporting him in school would you just let him have access to all your funds?

[tolongaway]

Try saying thankyou for his love and generosity so far in financing you through college. Instead of complaining about how nice he is and how accomodating.

 

I am sure what you request would make things easier but I for 1 would have loved to have a woman paying for me when I was going to parties.

 

Sorry if this sounds a little short or mean - but conne in this gury really doek

[Cecelius]

Speechless...

[Lonestar]

but conne in this gury really doek

 

What? I don't get it.

[mental_traveller]

Hi, I have been with my man for little over 2 years and we have lived together for a year. We plan and talk about being together forever. He always tell me that I am the "love of his life". I asked him the other day for him to add me to his checking account and he seemed offended. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to share an account with me since he talks about us being together forever? Is he not ready?? I'm confused?

 

Maybe he just isn't a gullible fool.

[BigB]

Hi, I have been with my man for little over 2 years and we have lived together for a year. We plan and talk about being together forever. He always tell me that I am the "love of his life". I asked him the other day for him to add me to his checking account and he seemed offended. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to share an account with me since he talks about us being together forever? Is he not ready?? I'm confused?

 

The "love of my life" stole every penny I had out my checking account, and left me without enough money to feed myself. She then packed everything I owned into a truck, stole my car and skipped town. I never saw her again.

 

I would be willing to open a joint account again when/if I get married, but I will always be keeping an account of my own.