I'm 25 Lbs Overweight: Women Still Strongly Attracted To Me

[shesabeauty]

I used to have a lean, athletic build in college. 5'9," around 145 lbs or so. Now, 5 years out of college, I am closer to 170 lbs. I can still fit into all of my clothes but it's uncomfortable.

 

What's strange is that I barely notice a difference in how many women are attracted or how strongly attracted they are. As I've gained weight, I've noticed two relatively subtle differences:

 

1. during the daytime, I get fewer stares and smiles which used to happen all the time. Now, I'm largely ignored. (conclusion: if you are wondering about all of those 'ambiguous' stares and smiles during the day, it's a sign of attraction)

 

2. women still approach me a lot and stare etc during weekend evenings out. However, they are less likely to stare at my body, just into my eyes.

 

Otherwise, there is little to any weight penalty. No one calls me fat, no one thinks I'm overweight. It's not affecting my dating life to any noticeable degree just a little less flirtation during the day and the week.

 

The conclusion I take away from this is people are attracted to your face moreso than anything else as long as you are not grossly overweight. Any other men (or women) notice this as well? Or, are we so used to overweight people, that being 20-25 lbs overweight is now being underweight where 30-40 lbs overweight is now defined as overweight?

[sabaton]

30-40lbs above the healthy weight for a man's height these days is considered to be skinny. I'm a 5'7' ' guy at 132lbs. The ideal weight for a man my height is 152 lbs. So yeah, I'm considered to be anorexic in the US

Edited October 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact full quote of starting post

[alphamale]

I'm a 5'7' ' guy at 132lbs.

 

dude you're skinny as a rail

[snowboy91]

OP I don't think you're at all overweight for your height. Sure you're not as lean as you were at college, but at 5'9" and 170 lbs (needed help with conversions to understand!) that's probably around average. I think you've got a fair way to go before it will start detracting from your appearance. Even so, consider any muscle mass you have - I'm 5'10" and went from 158 lb to 172 lb in the past couple of years - I started training to lose it and I ended up building muscle mass instead. I'm considered borderline overweight according to BMI but I look way better (and am getting a lot more attention) than when I was lighter.

 

That being said, overall I find that in terms of attraction, weight is less of a big deal than popular culture and mainstream media make it out to be. Attraction is all about personal preference, but guys can get away with a little excess weight if he has a nice face, presents well, etc. As for women, I find I can forgive some excess weight if there are other features I find attractive And I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there that agree. One of my exes is about 25 lbs overweight, but I still found her really attractive.

Edited October 27, 2018 by snowboy91

[mrs rubble]

Your BMI is 25.1 so you're barely overweight. In fact loads of perfectly fit and healthy men are overweight according to BMI because they have more muscle mass which weighs more than fat.

I think you'll find that many women prefer muscles to a super skinny guy.

[grays]

5’9” and 170 doesn’t sound heavy to me. Are you flabby and jiggly, big pot belly? It’s hard to imagine that you seem fat at that weight. A lot of women like a substantial man. I kinda like a guy that I can feel small in comparison to and I weigh 160 pounds. I’m thick-ish, but I don’t think people see me as fat.

[Lotsgoingon]

5' 9" 145 pounds ... that's high-school skinny these days ... an abnormal state of skinny sustained by youth and high energy ... often daily sports ...

 

5'9" 145 is not muscular ...

 

So 175 ... not even close to being overweight ... Very good handsome weight for men.

[phineas]

LOL! i'm 5'8" and closer to 200lbs and you would NOT believe the ass on the woman I was with last week.

 

my experience is any dude size 36 pants or smaller is acceptable to most women.

 

guys who think they can't get a girl because of how they look are really just awkward and cringy around women and turn them off.

[Chilli]

Funny , l found the same when l was 20kg overweight, made no difference.

To me l looked as shyt as .

Face was still much the same though too it didn't really get chubby but yep l came to the same conclusion.

Right or wrong who knows but that's all l could come up with.

 

Just had a thought , Elvis was still a damn good looking man even with the weight, but eh , l know , elvis would look good anyway, just sayin.

 

Another thought l had back then too was that women don't actually mind a guy pretty big and carefree kinda body especially if he still has a nice face.

My w always said it was kinda nice and she really enjoyed being the beauty between us and me just being the big ol cuddly hubby.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Chilli

[shesabeauty]

LOL! i'm 5'8" and closer to 200lbs and you would NOT believe the ass on the woman I was with last week.

 

my experience is any dude size 36 pants or smaller is acceptable to most women.

 

guys who think they can't get a girl because of how they look are really just awkward and cringy around women and turn them off.

 

This is so accurate it's silly. A size 32 waist might be great for vanity, but some size on a man is to be expected.

 

I'm just going to get into the shape I want to get in for my own purposes. Yeah, I say that now but put a pizza in front of me and I'm layin' it to waste.

[sabaton]

dude you're skinny as a rail

 

 

I know, bro. And my metabolism slowed down a bit. I used to be 110lbs when I was 18

[smackie9]

You are getting less stares because your confidence level is lower and women can sense that. How you carry yourself will determine if you attract women or not. Women love confident men. Having a good sense of humor doesn't either.

[shesabeauty]

You are getting less stares because your confidence level is lower and women can sense that. How you carry yourself will determine if you attract women or not. Women love confident men. Having a good sense of humor doesn't either.

 

There could be some truth to this. Last night I wore a super funky outfit, strutting around, having a ton of fun. Lots of women were approaching, staring, smiling, waving and gawking.

 

I met many women, got lots of phone numbers and had some fun on the dance floor with a lot of hot girls.

 

However, this doesn't mean I'm going to eat like a total glutton, and never exercise. I'm going to live a healthy lifestyle, but I won't probably live like a puritan either.

[sabaton]

You are getting less stares because your confidence level is lower and women can sense that. How you carry yourself will determine if you attract women or not. Women love confident men. Having a good sense of humor doesn't either.

 

 

Now this one confuses me, because what does getting attention gotta do with how a man feels about himself?

 

 

His level of confidence? I have a friend who was an ugly duckling when he was a kid. Overweight, acne, thin hair etc, then I didn't see him for a couple of years and suddenly he was fit, his acne had cleared off, and his hair had become strong and full.

 

 

He still believes himself to be unattractive, and yet women give him plenty of positive attention.

 

 

How you carry yourself will determine if you attract women or not.

 

 

I feel that has more to do with the way he looks(if she likes his look) than with his level of self-esteem.

 

 

 

 

Women love confident men.

 

 

I also like confident women.

 

 

Who are sexually attractive

[alphamale]

women look at the whole package whereas men look only at her breasts

[smackie9]

Now this one confuses me, because what does getting attention gotta do with how a man feels about himself?

 

 

His level of confidence? I have a friend who was an ugly duckling when he was a kid. Overweight, acne, thin hair etc, then I didn't see him for a couple of years and suddenly he was fit, his acne had cleared off, and his hair had become strong and full.

 

 

He still believes himself to be unattractive, and yet women give him plenty of positive attention.

 

 

 

 

 

I feel that has more to do with the way he looks(if she likes his look) than with his level of self-esteem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

People who are fit, and look good, will look like they are confident, like dress to impress as they say BUT he would receive way more attention and better quality women if he was confident in himself. The clincher is the interaction. If he is droopy during the interaction, he's gonna lose that interest with most...the ones that have any kind of substance and confidence in themselves.

[sabaton]

People who are fit, and look good, will look like they are confident, like dress to impress as they say BUT he would receive way more attention and better quality women if he was confident in himself.

 

 

That has more to do with the halo effect than with confidence making a man sexually attractive or more sexually attractive than he already is. When people see someone who is good-looking out and about, they will ascribe positive qualities to him or to her,

 

and then they will say that the reason why they are attracted to him/her is because he's charming or confident, when his social skills are pretty much average, and he's not really all that confident with his terrible body posture and body language.

 

 

It's kinda like me saying that I am attracted to this girl because she's confident https://www.atelevisao.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/sara-matos.jpg when in reality I've met girls just like that who suffered from extremely low self-esteem(Don't ask me why, I also didn't understand) and I was still very deeply attracted to them.

 

 

Beauty makes us look at someone and because it's shallow for us to say that we like someone because the dude's 6'2'' or because she has a butt like Kim Kardashian, we fall to saying that we are attracted to them because they are confident, or funny, or nice.

 

 

 

and better quality women if he was confident in himself.

What do you mean by better quality women? What are high quality women to you?

 

 

 

The clincher is the interaction. If he is droopy during the interaction, he's gonna lose that interest with most...the ones that have any kind of substance and confidence in themselves.

 

 

I dunno. I think that in the end it's all random. I remember being taken by a friend of mine who is a male model and dresses sharp while I dress at the cheapest stores(the pants I'm wearing went down for a price of $10) and the moment we both entered the store, he tells me that this girl at the counter was checking me out.

 

 

Now, my friend is 6'2'' 185lbs at 9% body fat. I'm 5'7'' at 132lbs and 10% body fat. There is no way this girl who is way out of my league could be attracted to me.

 

 

 

But I noticed that the girl was getting nervous and giggling when she'd look at me, and she even forgot to register the shoes my friend bought at the store, which made the alarm go off and the girl came running outta store apologizing and asking to be let register the shoes.

 

 

I didn't ask for the girl's number for several reasons, one included that she was a 10 and I'm a 5, and this has nothing to do with my lack of confidence making me unattractive or average, but with accepting reality.

 

 

But my friend, without telling me, went to the store the other day and gave her my number and then she asked me out

 

 

Confidence didn't make me attractive to her. She had the stored filled with male models and I'm sure not a day goes by without her getting hit on by those male models 50 times a day +.

 

 

What made her ask me out is a mystery to me as deep as to the age-old question of, ''is there intelligent life out there in the universe?''

[Chilli]

Could be something in the confidence thing. When l was over weight, l'd sorta stomp around in a really couldn't givafk manner . l've noticed it with a lotta bigger guys.

It's actually quite nice getting about with a bit of weight about you l liked the feeling.

Couldn't believe how the women and especially the younger chicks were still interested though but it really made no difference.

Edited October 29, 2018 by Chilli

[sabaton]

Could be something in the confidence thing. When l was over weight, l'd sorta stomp around in a really couldn't givafk manner . l've noticed it with a lotta bigger guys.

It's actually quite nice getting about with a bit of weight about you l liked the feeling.

Couldn't believe how the women and especially the younger chicks were still interested though but it really made no difference.

 

 

Nah. I don't think confidence is going to make a man hot or hotter than he is. I feel that in the end it all boils down to luck, location, circumstances, and being in the right place at the right moment.

 

A)Getting horny and the really hot men aren't around(I once had a girl that I was trying to sleep with for 2 months to no avail text me at 3 in the morning asking if I was awake ) which will make them lower their standards for sex.

 

B) Women have a varied taste in men, and they don't need a dude to be 7 feet tall and 450lbs in lean body mass for them to be attracted to him. Confidence can be the clincher between two really attractive men, and she doesn't want to end up with an insecure guy because he's gonna have to deal with watching his girl getting hit on by guys all day long - for the girl to decide which guy she is going to end up with, but overall I don't believe confidence is going to make me be as attractive or nearly as attractive as Henry Cavill

[Interstellar]

I used to have a lean, athletic build in college. 5'9," around 145 lbs or so. Now, 5 years out of college, I am closer to 170 lbs. I can still fit into all of my clothes but it's uncomfortable.

 

What's strange is that I barely notice a difference in how many women are attracted or how strongly attracted they are. As I've gained weight, I've noticed two relatively subtle differences:

 

1. during the daytime, I get fewer stares and smiles which used to happen all the time. Now, I'm largely ignored. (conclusion: if you are wondering about all of those 'ambiguous' stares and smiles during the day, it's a sign of attraction)

 

2. women still approach me a lot and stare etc during weekend evenings out. However, they are less likely to stare at my body, just into my eyes.

 

Otherwise, there is little to any weight penalty. No one calls me fat, no one thinks I'm overweight. It's not affecting my dating life to any noticeable degree just a little less flirtation during the day and the week.

 

The conclusion I take away from this is people are attracted to your face moreso than anything else as long as you are not grossly overweight. Any other men (or women) notice this as well? Or, are we so used to overweight people, that being 20-25 lbs overweight is now being underweight where 30-40 lbs overweight is now defined as overweight?

 

You hit the nail on the head. Physical attraction starts on the face. That’s really the first thing everyone notices.

[alphamale]

You hit the nail on the head. Physical attraction starts on the face. That’s really the first thing everyone notices.

 

I would agree with that

[Logo]

What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.

-Buddha

[Chilli]

Nah. I don't think confidence is going to make a man hot or hotter than he is. I feel that in the end it all boils down to luck, location, circumstances, and being in the right place at the right moment.

 

A)Getting horny and the really hot men aren't around(I once had a girl that I was trying to sleep with for 2 months to no avail text me at 3 in the morning asking if I was awake ) which will make them lower their standards for sex.

 

B) Women have a varied taste in men, and they don't need a dude to be 7 feet tall and 450lbs in lean body mass for them to be attracted to him. Confidence can be the clincher between two really attractive men, and she doesn't want to end up with an insecure guy because he's gonna have to deal with watching his girl getting hit on by guys all day long - for the girl to decide which guy she is going to end up with, but overall I don't believe confidence is going to make me be as attractive or nearly as attractive as Henry Cavill

 

 

Yeah l don't usually put anything in that confidence stuff all over the net either , never heard of it 15yrs ago. like most of the other stuff you read now.

But nah , l talked about it in another thread but the two biggest chick magnets l've even known in my life and ones my brother , are both actually really shy guys, you'd almost call them timid, my brother is def'. Women love him. Talked about his talents somewhere too.

 

To me it's as simple as sex appeal , some have heaps of it , some a bit , some not much and have to work a bit harder.

Women are exactly the same , some can do no wrong guys just flock to them, they might not even be that good looking , known girls like that. Others , like other guys , nothing , often even if she's nice looking .

Seen 100 girls complain about her her too. Same for guys.

Known guys 6ft lean and mean, hansom, still can;t win a kicking though no matter what he does.

 

And then there's things like you mentioned , stick around and she might just call you one night anyway if the doors left open.

Seen a lot of guys cash in on that one.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Chilli

[Chilli]

You hit the nail on the head. Physical attraction starts on the face. That’s really the first thing everyone notices.

 

 

Yep , l'd agree with it too hence the fact that even when l was 20kg overweight l was still getting looks in the car.

l've noticed it with my brother too , he's a druggo and a bum basically , dresses like crap , never got money, not even a car most of the time, but they love him and he does have something some kind of magnetism it's all in his face even though he can hardly string a sentence together. think he's 49ish now, they still love him , everywhere he goes seen it with my own eyes.

Even my sister , she bought him a house , l said wtf did you buy him a house he'll never work now, she says oh , l dunno , l just have a soft spot for him , l think it's better if he has a house. l mean wtf , yaknow.

 

l also think sex appeal is all in the face , eyes , vibe, an essence, same with women , of course all the other goodies help too, a lot, but usually say l have zero interest in over weight women yet sometimes , she has a face that just makes me wanna , well , yaknow. Even though she's maybe even a lot over weight but you just feel it about her , see it, and her ways.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Chilli

[sabaton]

Yeah l don't usually put anything in that confidence stuff all over the net either , never heard of it 15yrs ago. like most of the other stuff you read now.

I feel that women tell men that what makes a man attractive to a woman is his confidence because women are raised from birth to always be nice to men and to people in general.

 

what guy wants to hear that the reason he's not getting laid/can't find a romantic relationship, or at least a romantic relationship with someone he finds attractive - is due to the fact that he's bald, ugly, or has an unappealing looking body?

 

But nah , l talked about it in another thread but the two biggest chick magnets l've even known in my life and ones my brother , are both actually really shy guys, you'd almost call them timid, my brother is def'. Women love him. Talked about his talents somewhere too.

Yes, I've seen that too. Back in college we had a guy who wouldn't talk to anyone, he would avoid group situations, and he wasn't the most confident of guys - but girls approached him often, hitting on him in front of people, and I'm talking about high quality women aka hot women which is what I suppose mackie means whe she talks about high quality women.

 

To me it's as simple as sex appeal , some have heaps of it , some a bit , some not much and have to work a bit harder.

Women are exactly the same , some can do no wrong guys just flock to them, they might not even be that good looking , known girls like that. Others , like other guys , nothing , often even if she's nice looking .

That's because those women are flirty, charming, and seductive in the way that they interact with men, and there's studies suggesting that men are attracted to the women who like them just because the women like them.

 

And then there's things like you mentioned , stick around and she might just call you one night anyway if the doors left open.

Seen a lot of guys cash in on that one.

Yes, that's what I would do when I was a young man.

 

I'd get to meet a lot of girls through my friends or through life in general, and then eventually they would either become single, and not looking for a relationship but still wanted sex, and then they'd go from their list of guys they wanted to have sex with, to the guy they ended up having sex with.

 

Because it could be that their #1 choice for an one-night stand was in a relationship and was the loyal type, or the guy was outta town, or he was too tired and needed to wake up early, or he just wasn't interested.

 

Hilarious how I spent 2 months actively trying to have sex with her, only for her to take a summer holiday to her grandmother's village - where the majority of the men are 50+ years old - and when she comes back she texts me asking me if I'm awake, giving me what I wanted from her and that I hadn't managed to get when I was putting effort into trying to get it

 

l also think sex appeal is all in the face , eyes , vibe, an essence, same with women , of course all the other goodies help too, a lot, but usually say l have zero interest in over weight women yet sometimes , she has a face that just makes me wanna , well , yaknow. Even though she's maybe even a lot over weight but you just feel it about her , see it, and her ways.

It reminds me of how this night, I was at the nightclub with a group of friends, and there is this girl that I spot checking me out. She had that type of body that I'm crazy about: wide hips, flat stomach, thick legs, big breasts, big bubble butt, and a cute face, and she was tall, which is something I really like in women.

 

But I ended up going home with this other girl. Who was only 4'10'' 5 lbs underweight, narrow hips and no butt nor boobs, but she had an extremely pretty face and smile, and that seemed to have done the trick just fine.

 

 

Oh, and it kinda helped that the short girl approached me when I was with my group of friends and pretty much made it effortless for me to take her home , whereas the hot girl would've aske a drink off me, and then she would expect me to entertain her, and maybe if I got lucky and she was horny and there weren't any hot guys around I might have just taken her home.

Edited October 30, 2018 by sabaton