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Am i being crazily insecure?


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Hi everyone hope your good! :)

 

So just wanting a bit of advise because basically i don't know if im been a "psycho insecure c**t" as i've been called or if i have a right to be this way.

 

So im 23 girlfriend is 21 been together just over 2 years plenty of ups and downs and plenty of arguments due to me been "insecure" . So last night my gf went out with friends to a city about 45mins away from our town and i am not going to lie i do get a bit anxious when she goes out even though i have no real reason to be as i know she is loyal and has never done anything but i still don't really like it when she goes out anyway so she went there i wasn't really too fussed then at 2:30am she gets a minibus back with everyone and most of them went home as they'd been out since 10pm and it was 3:00am when they got back , but no not my gf she decided at 3:00 to back into our local town and to a nightclub till 5:30am.

 

So in my personal opinion i think that's not on in a relationship like why does she feel the need to go to a nightclub at 3am when she's already been out all night and it has really p*ssed me off and i kinda think its sly she has to go one step further and stay out and i just think you shouldn't do that in a relationship wouldnt any normal gf come back to yours at 3am not go out partying till 5:30 i mean she did try come to mine after still but my doors was locked.

 

So guys the above has just happened and sh(t similar to this happens a lot where i get p)ssed off over this type of stuff .

 

Am i overprotective , insecure and crazy or is she in wrong?

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Well, you're both young and partying is not unusual for folks your age. It's part of growing up, a rite of passage for most. Now the problem is that she was out doing this not with you, but like a single person. She is almost certainly testing/enjoying her ability to attract men, whether she intends to act on it or not. She's tempting fate as they say. Most men would not be okay with this.

 

Your feelings are what they are, and you're entitled to feel the way you feel. Why are you using the word insecure? Is this HER word? Insecurity is when there's no valid reason for the feeling. Not the case here. What you're experiencing is jealousy, and there certainly is cause. Jealousy is not inherently bad... only if irrational and/or excessive. But who wants to be in a relationship where you're always feeling that way?

 

Why are you not included in these nights out? I think you need to compromise so that you're spending weekends together. If she insists on going out separately, then the prognosis is probably not good. She may be looking for a chance to monkey-branch. Have the talk and see if you can get on the same page. If she says it's her way or the highway and accuses you of being insecure, I'd have to consider pulling the plug... fundamental incompatibility at best, or she's looking to bang someone else at worst.

 

Sorry, I know it's terribly upsetting.

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loversquarrel

That's not insecurity, that's a normal human reaction towards someone who is doing something that causes you concern. Best part of all - you are both young and if you don't like what's going on you can find a girl that doesn't need to be out in a bar by herself all hours of the night.

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