My friend is copying me and I hate it

[EmmaJ44]

I know her for 10 years. Everything was fine, but past these few years I feel like she is trying to become me. My interests, my dreams, my hobbies, my style are her's to. And it's not in a fun way like "we are so similar we are almost twins", it's annoying. If I buy something (a shirt) she will say it looks horrible on me, but the next day she will wear the same thing, and if I don't compliment her I am being rude. And if I say I want something she will buy it for herself and if I get the same thing she will accuse me of copying her.

 

Same thing with hobbies and interests. I started playing the guitar and the next thing I know she is playing it to. I started writing short stories and all of the sudden she wants to be a writer. And because she is my friend I am trying to help her, I try giving her ideas to write, but she keeps saying that my writing is bad and boring, but she keeps copying my work.

 

But these are only few thing she copied.

 

The worst thing she has ever done is trying to get with my boyfriend and then I confronted her about it she just called me psychotic and paranoid (I was not the only one who saw her flirting with him)

 

Also, I always help or try to with her problems, but then I need help or support she doesn't even try to care.

 

And yes, I know that she is not being a good friend. She is constantly mean to me and makes me fell bad, but does the same things as me and says that she does them way better and I should give up. But I can't just end the friendship. I can't talk to her about this because she will put the blame on me, make me feel bad about it.

 

What should I do?

 

 

(Sorry if my grammar is bad, English is not my first language)

[preraph]

You should dump her. She wants your life. I went through this with an old friend from middle school I'd known 17 years and she did, in fact, go after my bf, and that's what it took before I dumped her. I had actually dumped her briefly in high school for betraying me to a new friend but took her back in college since she was literally the only one I knew there. Wish I hadn't. Toxic.

 

I didn't notice the small things like you do at the time. I did catch her borrowing clothes a time or two. After the final straw, I noticed a vintage suit was missing and asked her where it was. She said she doesn't know but maybe she borrowed it and then took it to the cleaners and forgot it. I bet it's still in her closet. She wanted my life. I didn't know how bad until I heard her out, and I realized we had a toxic relationship and she was a parasite, and I pulled her off like a tick and have never once regretted it. I wish her a good life and I think she has had one and was probably a wonderful and fun mother. Just not good for me.

[basil67]

Your English is fine. Why can't you end the friendship?

[d0nnivain]

You have some choices.

 

1. Talk to her.

 

2. Buy her a copy of the movie Single White Female & tell her to knock if off.

 

3. Stop being her friend.

[salparadise]

Try to have some compassion. I know it's aggravating, but realize that she has a very weak sense of identity and idolizes you, probably wishes she could be you. However uncomfortable it makes you feel, I guarantee she feels a hundred times worse. She's struggling. If you deliver a harsh rejection it could be devastating.

 

You could try to cool off the friendship a bit, but try to be the bigger person and allow her to save face. If she says something looks terrible on you, tell her it's hurtful and ask why, as your friend, would she say that. She will probably grow out of it eventually, but for now my guess is that she fragile.

 

How old are the two of you?