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(f) Wondering if I came on too strong in a males perspective?


ar1489

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Have been on 3 dates with a guy that seems pretty interested in me. He's a little bit older than me (mid thirties, i'm late 20s). We have a good time together. We had our third date yesterday afternoon. Last night, he texted me some small talk chatty stuff relating back to our date. I wanted to make my interest known, so I told him that I was glad we went out and I had a fun time. He said he agreed and that was the end of the convo.

 

I thought it was the right thing to do to show my interest, but his response was so short I wasn't sure if I looked too clingy or as though I came on too strong.

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he texted me some small talk chatty stuff relating back to our date. I wanted to make my interest known, so I told him that I was glad we went out and I had a fun time. He said he agreed and that was the end of the convo.

 

I thought it was the right thing to do to show my interest, but his response was so short I wasn't sure if I looked too clingy or as though I came on too strong.

 

You're really overthinking this.

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Way overthinking it. All you did was say you had a good time which is polite. How do you view that as coming on strong?

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Way overthinking it. All you did was say you had a good time which is polite. How do you view that as coming on strong?

 

I guess I just thought his response was a little unenthused but yes I am a classic overthinker.

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He just wanted to know if you had fun. And he ageed. It's too soon for any sane person to start being mushy, and lots of adults don't do that anyway or want to keep up a running text thread.

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I guess I just thought his response was a little unenthused but yes I am a classic overthinker.

 

What response were you hoping for?

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I don't know. Maybe part of me hoped he suggested another date.

 

That is good point, I was with the other posters till I read your reply....

 

If I was the guy and in his shoes I would have asked you for another date but then again after 3 dates I'm pretty sure I would have put the moves on you and you would have been naked a couple of times already :laugh:

 

I think you are right but then also think the people giving advice are right..

The guy might not be very aggressive and need more time to make a play.

I don't think you were too forward and honestly think it wouldn't be too forward if you shot him a text looking to setup another date...

 

Not how I would have done it but I don't think this is in the tank yet.

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That is good point, I was with the other posters till I read your reply....

 

If I was the guy and in his shoes I would have asked you for another date but then again after 3 dates I'm pretty sure I would have put the moves on you and you would have been naked a couple of times already :laugh:

 

I think you are right but then also think the people giving advice are right..

The guy might not be very aggressive and need more time to make a play.

I don't think you were too forward and honestly think it wouldn't be too forward if you shot him a text looking to setup another date...

 

Not how I would have done it but I don't think this is in the tank yet.

 

yeah, the pace confuses me. my assumption is he probably isn't all that interested but i'm not sure why he texts and still asks me to do things if thats the case. thanks for your response!

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Some guys don't want to look too eager either. You know.... do the wait a few days deal.

 

 

 

It would be OK to suggest a date with some enthusiasm....it's a modern age, and I would like to think a guy would like to see some reciprocation/effort from the ladies side. I guess it depends on the person/persons.

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If anything, your text should’ve encouraged him. Either he’s slow on the uptake or not interested. He might’ve just gotten distracted and wasn’t able to text after that.

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If anything, your text should’ve encouraged him. Either he’s slow on the uptake or not interested. He might’ve just gotten distracted and wasn’t able to text after that.

 

This is what I was thinking as well. Or might have been in the middle of something when you texted. At least he did contact you after your last date. I'd sit tight if I were you. What's his previous history about making subsequent dates?

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Is this where humankind has come? Being afraid of saying something nice to another person? If you were rude I'd understand you being worried... but you weren't :) All is good. Life is good.

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