Blonde2002 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Please can someone help me? My gf of 9 years has just dumped me out the blue and I've found out she has been seeing other men. I am so heartbroken I wanna die. This pain is unbearable. I love her so much. I am in so much pain. Now she has blocked me, won't talk to me or acknowledge me. To make matters worse she lives 60 miles away and I am an agoraphobic and I can't even see her. I just dont know how to cope. please any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 So sorry you got dumped by your long-time girlfriend. There surely had to be some warning signs leading up when things weren't all roses. Once you collect your wits, you will look back and it will make a bit more sense. But it's never fun. Honestly, her blocking you is the most humane thing, or else you would forever hold onto the hope of getting back together. This way, painful as it is, you will have to accept that it is over. The good news is now you do not have to leave your house to talk to a psychologist and get some help and it's much more affordable. Here is a "compare" chart for online psychologist help. I think you may need it here for awhile. If you have someone you trust who would support you, see if you can go there, but I still think you ought to talk to a psychologist about this. The pain will get better. You have to go through the stages, denial, anger, etc. But it will get better. Hang in there. Come here any time to vent. https://www.e-counseling.com/tlp/online-psychologist/?imt=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgpHt_Pis3gIVx1YNCh1LowwZEAAYAiAAEgJUB_D_BwE 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 That is very painful. However, you will get through this. Do not kill yourself. Do grieve, cry, scream get the pain out as you mourn the loss of your relationship. Lean on supportive friends & family members in your time of need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blonde2002 Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 thank you for your advice. I am really struggling so any words of comfort are of help Link to post Share on other sites
portwine49 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 They say it gets better but thats not going to ease your pain right now. I recommend reading Its Called A Breakup because it is broken. Read everything you can on how to get through a break up. They say no contact for at least 30 days to clear your head. None. No contact. I know you want to and it sucks, It's devastating. Oh and watch break up movies. There are a few....one is with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston. I think there is another with Seth Grogran or whatever that comedians name is. Just watching others go through a break up on screen or in a book can be of some comfort. Thats what I did. It sucked, I had my ice cream. But I didn't feel so alone with the fact others had gone through it even if they are just fictional characters on the screen. But the book Getting Past your Breakup by Susan Elliot is also good. How to do No Contact like a boss by Kim Saaed may be helpful. Just google break up books and movies. Distract yourself with identifying with those stories. It may not heal you instantly but you will have those minutes of troubling hurt occupied by distraction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 While it seems like the end of the world it's not. It'll take you awhile but no contact is imperative. While you may think like many she was the only one, your soulmate she isn't. If you haven't now is a great time to join a gym and keep yourself busy. Family, friends are your go to support system. No alcohol, etc. they are depressants and will just make this worse. You'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
sutsie Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Today was a rough one for me. 5 week day. I got blindsided and dumped by my gf of over 3 years on her 21st birthday. She's now out partying like crazy and following some new friend around like a lapdog doing whatever she wants. I also believe she was cheating on me. It really sucks and I was a complete wreck for a couple weeks. I've lost roughly 25 pounds from jogging constantly. I'd highly recommend bettering yourself in every way possible so that a month from now you'll at least have a new ray of confidence about yourself. also a month from now you will feel better. I still have extreme highs and lows at certain points but at least I'm not totally in the ****ter anymore. Don't drink...trust me on that one. did that two breakups ago and became a serious problem in my life. Thankfully that ended a long time ago while I was with this new ex-gf. Hang in there. It gets much much better with time, but it won't if you don't put yourself in a better position every day and work on improving yourself. Get your confidence back. Control what you can control. The rest will work itself out I promise. I tend to listen to videos on youtube when I run or drive around such as "why do we fall", "push through pain", "never give up", "born in the darkness", and basically any other motivational video that can keep me going through everyday. I was at a point when I was listening to these almost constantly. Now I just listen to them every once in a while because I'm feeling that much better. If you ever gotta vent or wanna talk don't be afraid to shoot a pm. I know it all sucks and life can be ****ed up a lot of times. No offense to the women here because I know guys can be jerks too, but it always seems like the good guys are getting their hearts crushed by girls whether its gigs, cheating, or some other bs where the girl doesn't want to express her feelings and actually work on issues in a relationship. Society now days is a joke when it comes to commitment, trust, and honesty. If you were a great boyfriend and are a great guy in general then she'll regret that decision and by the time she comes around again you either won't give a **** because you'll be the best version of yourself or you'll find someone thats better because you yourself became better. or you can sit around and be miserable for eternity and she's gonna be the best thing that ever happened to you.....serously think about that.... a girl that left you out of no where and didn't value you and the relationship will be what you look back on as your best years....**** THAT! Go out there and get yours man. I'm struggling everyday brother and I have little faith in anything other than the fact after I push through the pain there will be a reward on the other side. I don't even know what that reward is, but I know it'll be there. Best wishes man and hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GinON Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You might try watching the youtube videos of Craig Kenneth, which focus on getting your ex back but I would ignore that part and focus on the psychology that he and his co-host Margaret talk about. There are over 600 videos, and they are rather soothing to listen to. They helped me get through months of difficulty. Focus on making yourself awesome, build your self worth, get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 I am an agoraphobic and I can't even see her. You never leave your house? Ever?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blonde2002 Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 You never leave your house? Ever?? I can travel a few miles around my house, but she lives in the next town away. So I can just not get there to her house. But most my days are spent indoors. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You need to find a shrink within a few miles of your house and go there. Regularly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blonde2002 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 Sadly I have tried multiple psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors and every conceivable medication on earth. Nothing has worked. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Damn. Makes it hard to meet someone new, that's for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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