Social Anxiety ...really ??

[Rockdad]

There are some very smart people here, can you guys clue me in on this subject? The term is about as over used IMHO as PTSD. I can admit being old school and coming from the background I did you put your big boy pants on and got it done what ever it was. Typical life challenges and responsibilities are faced and then particularly the younger generation claims Social Anxiety and or PTSD. Really?? I truly am ignorant and shake my head wondering what the heck were you in actual warfare combat?

[Garcon1986]

If you have been in the military, hats off to you, for doing a truly stressful and sometimes not that rewarding career. Lads these days (including myself at one point) complain about social anxiety. What it means is that there is an artificial pressure to perform well in a social situation, and you go into the situation, you have anxiety, don't perform well, and then blame it on somebody else, rather than going out back and getting a lashing from grandpa in the shed (as they do in the South). So many guys have social anxiety with women because they want the social interaction to go well no matter what, but put lots of artificial rules on it.

 

 

That's it in a nutshell. It's the same thing as performance anxiety on the piano, but for meeting your favorite woman. Women have it too but have different problems to deal with.

[littleblackheart]

You don't need to have been in warfare combat to experience social anxiety.

 

We've made huge strides in the last couple of decades trying to make more sense of our mental, neurological and emotional health, and to acknowledge that they all matter as much as our physical health.

 

Social anxiety is a pervasive disorder that means those who have it have a deep-rooted fear of social situations. It can trigger feelings of helplessness, self-awareness, fear of being judged by others in a negative light, etc. It's either neurological or caused by a childhood trauma and abuse.

 

Whether 'claimed' as you say or diagnosed (yes, it exists), it doesn't really cost much for you to take that into consideration when communicating with someone who says they feel anxious in social settings - empathy is free, after all.

[d0nnivain]

It's a new name for an old problem. Some people were just called shy or hermits if they really had it bad. My great uncle probably had it; he didn't like leaving the house or interacting with people. Even family holidays stressed him out.

 

Like PTSD social anxiety really is thing. The person experiencing it feels awful but it's hard to make somebody else understand. During the 3 year period after my mother died, something like 33 people in my life including my dad passed away, my dog died, & my family house that I grew up in got destroyed in a flood. I woke every day terrified about what horrible thing was going to happen next. I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD. My combat tested Marine Vet husband was flabbergasted by the diagnosis. he was convinced you could only develop that kind of stress in combat so we both had to be educated. What I learned was that when the stressor is removed, you can heal.

 

I agree with you that the terms are over used. Many people feel anxious going into a new social situation but that doesn't necessarily ride to the level of social anxiety disorder. It could just be a case of nerves which settle down a few minutes into the event.

[No_Go]

Overused term as any other mental disease armchair diagnosis... Most of these 'conditions' are treatable by situations of no choice ... then the individual in question suddenly mobilizes and overcomes their issues. I've seen it (and even experienced it) more than once. E.g. I hate speaking in front of people to my guts but when I my job depended on it, I suddenly lost my 'impostor syndrome' lol.

 

 

There are some very smart people here, can you guys clue me in on this subject? The term is about as over used IMHO as PTSD. I can admit being old school and coming from the background I did you put your big boy pants on and got it done what ever it was. Typical life challenges and responsibilities are faced and then particularly the younger generation claims Social Anxiety and or PTSD. Really?? I truly am ignorant and shake my head wondering what the heck were you in actual warfare combat?

[littleblackheart]

Overused term as any other mental disease armchair diagnosis... Most of these 'conditions' are treatable by situations of no choice ...

 

Whether overused or not, there is no way of knowing whether someone is making it up or not.

 

It's not a 'mental disease' - I'm sure it's a spectrum, like most disorders, so it affects people differently. When it's neurological, you can't just 'snap out of it' when you have no choice. It's not because some individuals can overcome it that everyone can.

 

I don't really have social anxiety (I hugely dislike socialising in big groups mainly because of the sensory overload but it doesn't trigger any particular fear) but if someone tells them they have, I take it into account without judging them, thinking it's being overused or wondering why they can't get a handle on it.

[basil67]

I'm in my 50's. I went to school with a girl who had crippling social anxiety. At the request of a teacher, a few of us tried to bring her into our group, but she couldn't even speak to us, let alone hang out with us. She was far beyond being able to pull up her big girl pants and get one with it.

 

What is the relevance of warfare combat in this equation?

[snowboy91]

Just because someone hasn't gone to war doesn't make their anxiety triggers invalid, no matter what they are. Not everyone reacts the same way to certain things.

 

I couldn't tell you if the term "social anxiety" is overused, but it is really common. In fact, I used to regard myself as an introvert until I discovered that I'd just had social anxiety my whole life and I was a lot more of an extrovert than I realised.

 

Anyway one type of social anxiety is overanalysing every little thing you do around people and how others react... how much you say, your choice of words, presence of awkward silences, oversharing, what you're wearing... the list goes on and on. It boils down to a fear of being judged by others negatively, which may or may not be a valid fear. It's really exhausting having that go through your mind every time you interact with people, so people just refuse to interact as a coping strategy.

[Nadine123]

] how much you say' date=' your choice of words, presence of awkward silences, oversharing, what you're wearing... the list goes on and on. It boils down to a fear of being judged by others negatively, which may or may not be a valid fear. It's really exhausting having that go through your mind every time you interact with people, so people just refuse to interact as a coping strategy.[/quote']

 

[/b]

 

As a person who suffers from PTSD and social anxiety, I couldn't have described it better. You don't have to go war to suffer PTSD, many people deal with wars internally.

 

I was sexually and physically abused when I was younger, had to grow up with a toxic mother, left by the man I loved, and developed essential tremors last year. These are all negative situations that can trigger mental and physical problems. I tried traveling to forget all of this but it actually made things worse, but I realized that it's all an internal battle and taking baby steps each day. I currently don't even have the ability to go put money in my card for example, because I know it's going to be very crowded.

 

Try to be more understanding of people who are struggling. If they can put their ''big boy pants'' on, trust me they would have a long time ago.

Edited October 31, 2018 by Nadine123
more info.

[preraph]

Combat and other PTSD such that First Responders get from seeing things they can never get out of their head are certainly the nightmare forms of PTSD, but there is non combat PTSD from other types of trauma that is just is impossible to get rid of and working from the same mechanism, I'm giving repetitive thoughts and just like being stuck and tormented. I was diagnosed with that. I am one of the few lucky ones who got out of it after about 10 years.

 

Social anxiety has indeed become a buzzword because it's become so much more prevalent with the internet generation many of whom have no desire to put their big boy pants on and get out into the world and grow.

[Rockdad]

[/b]

 

Try to be more understanding of people who are struggling.

 

 

That is why I posed the the question. Working in the general public I hear a lot of this from customers as well as civilians saying they have PTSD. Every week at work I have an employee with some type of melt down. The longer that person works for me the more high maintenance he becomes. I truly would like to understand so I know how to manage the crew better. Like many I had horrible things I went through and done to me for years but here I stand a self made successful businessman thus my confusion.

[d0nnivain]

That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. You rose above your challenges. Others fell under the weight.

[preraph]

Always remember it isn't usually as simple as one diagnosis. For me, it was major depression and PTSD. There are any number of disorders you can have alongside PTSD or anxiety. And it's really individual how each of us cope.

 

If you have someone melting down regularly, be sure they are under the care of a doctor for it. Where I lose patience is when someone has something mentally debilitating but refuses to get care because they hate doctors or medicine or would rather buy an XBox than pay for a shrink. But it's a fact that the more mentally ill you are, the less likely you are to be rational enough to seek care and follow directions once you do.

[snowcones]

I've been reading about social anxiety because I have a close relative who's been suffering from it. OP, you are actually not far off. One of the most effective treatment for SA, from what I read, is to force the person into those exact situations that give them social anxiety. It's to get them out of their comfort zone. And also not to treat them any differently or expect anything different than anyone else. Overtime, the exposure will make them realize nothing bad happens in this social situations, like they think.

[Nadine123]

I've been reading about social anxiety because I have a close relative who's been suffering from it. OP, you are actually not far off. One of the most effective treatment for SA, from what I read, is to force the person into those exact situations that give them social anxiety. It's to get them out of their comfort zone. And also not to treat them any differently or expect anything different than anyone else. Overtime, the exposure will make them realize nothing bad happens in this social situations, like they think.

 

No, just no. Forcing people into situations will either lead them into severe panic or making the social anxiety worse because they failed. It should come from the person by taking baby steps every single day.

 

OP, the fact that they're able to come to work and function is a sign that their social anxiety isn't so bad. As long as they're doing their work properly, why does it matter to you what's going on personally?

[clia]

I know that true social anxiety does exist and that there are people out there who have it.

 

That said, I feel the term has become incredibly overused and a lot of people are simply self diagnosing themselves as having "social anxiety" because they feel anxious and nervous when they have to get out from behind their keyboard or phone and actually have a conversation with someone. (I read an article recently about millennials and voting and one actually said going to the post office to mail their absentee ballot gave them social anxiety.)

 

I think there are a lot of people who get a little nervous in social situations or new environments (myself included), but that doesn't mean they have "social anxiety" or a medical condition. In some ways, it seems like having a mental health issue is "cool" nowadays, and I think in an effort to be diagnosed with something some people have lost sight of what is just a normal behavior or reaction. And yes, in those cases I do think forcing them out into the world could go a long way toward helping them deal with it.

[gaius]

Growing up I was never really a fan of going into situations where I'd have to directly engage with someone I didn't know. But I had to do that in order to get what I wanted since I didn't have the luxuries a lot of millennials do nowadays, no parents who paid all my bills and let me stay in my room, so I did. Developed the skills to socialize with strangers through much trial and error.

 

Kids nowadays are actually empowered when they claim one disability or another. People are expected to cater to their needs rather than just slapping them on the back of the head and telling them to get over it. So they never do.