Va13 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 (edited) Hello, I've been seeing him from July mid this year. It was mutual attraction, I found him extremely charming, funny, articulate, well read and way mature for his age. The first month was wonderful, we got along like a house on fire. After which he moved back to his city to complete his education. He started to get really busy and slowly my calls went unanswered, but his texts were flowing in. All he kept saying was he's been too busy to answer my calls (in fact I barely called him out of respecting the fact that he was in his final year and was prioritizing his studies which I was totally willing to understand). But gradually his texts started becoming sparse and totally devoid of any sort of affection as before and he attributed this also to being preoccupied, whenever I asked. At one point it was a month and a half and get still hadn't returned my calls. He would tell me how he'd call me that night, the following evening, etc. And he'd fail to keep his word EVERY SINGLE TIME. He'd leave me waiting and wouldn't even keep me informed about not being able to make that call. All of those commitments went unaddressed and when called out, he would remain unapologetic, make snide remarks and deflect the situation saying he isn't running a fraud, he's simply busy and I was sick of the same excuse, it started to drive me crazy. It's been 2.5 months and those calls haven't been returned. He was coming to town for a relative's surgery, he assured me he'd meet me the same day and even reassured me of the same. That day came and went, I kept waiting and when I finally told him I waited the entire evening, I left from work early only for him inspite of having tonnes of work, he simply shut me down and deflected the situation by putting words in my mouth saying I think he's playing around. I stopped responding, I was really hurt. He Texted two days later like nothing ever happened. I did respond this one time saying I've been busy but I was actually so mad at him for not wanting to address our issues every single time. I've been at the receiving end of the silent treatment, it's been ten days and I know if I reach out to him I'll either be shut down or spoken to very rudely. I'm an emotional mess, what do I do?! Edited November 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
CardsFan01 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 I think you need to read the writing on the wall. You clearly think this is more of a relationship than he does. You need to move on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You recognize that he has basically already broken up with you. He's an untrustworthy liar. You let this go. Delete his # from your phone & get on with your life as though he never existed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You might as well move on at this point. His lack of communication with you is him telling you it's over and wants you to get the message to stop contacting him. It's hard to make a long distance relationship work when there isn't much history involved. He should have just come out and told you he's no longer feeling you but people don't like confrontations. When he wasn't anxious to see you when he came to town you should now know where you stand with him. You guys had a fling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 All of those commitments went unaddressed and when called out, he would remain unapologetic, make snide remarks and deflect the situation saying he isn't running a fraud, he's simply busy and I was sick of the same excuse, it started to drive me crazy. This struck me as an odd comment - have you met him in person? In any event, it's very clear he doesn't think of you as his girlfriend anymore. He doesn't care to address your issues because, well, he just doesn't care about you. It's time to block/delete his number and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alassi Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 It's been 2.5 months and those calls haven't been returned. He was coming to town for a relative's surgery, he assured me he'd meet me the same day and even reassured me of the same. That day came and went, I kept waiting and when I finally told him I waited the entire evening, I left from work early only for him inspite of having tonnes of work, he simply shut me down and deflected the situation by putting words in my mouth saying I think he's playing around. I stopped responding, I was really hurt. He Texted two days later like nothing ever happened. I did respond this one time saying I've been busy but I was actually so mad at him for not wanting to address our issues every single time. I've been at the receiving end of the silent treatment, it's been ten days and I know if I reach out to him I'll either be shut down or spoken to very rudely. I'm an emotional mess, what do I do?! You're not a married couple going through a rough patch that the two of you need to sit down and address maturely. You are two people who dated for a month until one of you moved away from the city. I think if you're an emotional mess over this, then you need to set up an appointment for a counsellor. Pinning your distressed emotional state on somebody you really only dated for a month can't be the answer here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 When things are working out and everything is mutual, life becomes easier, not harder. Love isn't this much of a struggle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 When they stop calling you, it's over...it's call ghosting. He's just being a coward is all. Side note: This relationship is one sided. He wasn't as emotionally invested like you are but you couldn't see it because you were too busy being in love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 You need to just block him. Jeez, why would you even WANT someone who is this unreliable, rude, and inconsiderate? I don't know if you've ever met him or not, but if not, just move on because now you see this side of him and it sucks and it probably also has a girlfriend. If you have met him, then he's not interested enough to even be polite, so ask yourself why would you accept that kind of disrespect and cling to it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 He's run away ... and I know this is hard to do right now ... but one day, you will celebrate this ... He's revealed that he is unreliable and doesn't want to ... or cannot treat you with the minimum level of respect. Call him? .. .For what? ... I know it's painful ... incredibly painful and shocking ... ten days of silence ... But the silence is glaringly loud. Treat yourself well and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I'm with Preraph. 10 days no contact is perfect grounds for blocking someone and moving on without them in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Hello, I've been at the receiving end of the silent treatment, it's been ten days and I know if I reach out to him I'll either be shut down or spoken to very rudely. I'm an emotional mess, what do I do?! TBH this type of behavior isn't worth putting up w/. Esp being long distance, its not going to work out. I met a guy online and dated him long distance, Being left in the cold was common and eventually he dumped me. Best thing ever, I found someone better and who lives in the same city. Do yourself a favor and date other men. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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