MarkV Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 (edited) Evening everyone. Thanks for clicking on this post. Me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up in Jan due to her neglecting the relationship for work and since then confessing to me that she was in a very low place in her life at that time due to stress, anxiety etc. We were best friends and had some amazing memories! We didn't really speak for four months so I had to try and move on. Even her parents couldn't really get through to her. We had a beautiful house and little Labrador. After four months of trying to get her to come home to work through it and getting little response I started to get proceedings rolling with the house to take it on my own. I also went out for a casual drink with a girl as in my heart I felt that my ex wasn't bothered about coming back. When she found this out she went out with a guy to 'get back at me'! She didn't seem to get that I was hurt by her not bothering to even talk to me. Anyways, fast forward to July, she got back in contact with me and was begging me to take her back as she realised that she took me for granted and treated me badly. My head had moved on (not with anyone else) and I was so guarded as I gave her everything she wanted in life but didn't feel appreciated towards the end of the relationship. I told her that I couldn't just jump back into a relationship when she clicked her fingers, things take time and I see her as a risk. She kept leaving gifts on my doorstep, asking me to go out etc. She said she couldn't handle the pressure of the house, money etc at the time, even though I was willing to support her through it all. The house is pretty much sorted out and I still see my dog whenever I can (he lives with her at her parents). When ever I see her she cries saying she wants to come home to 'our' house. But at the same time I am pretty sure she is going on dates with an old work colleague. She just seems very low all the time and is going out just because someone is showing her attention. I've been out on a date in the past year but just don't feel that connection like I did with my ex. What do I do? Date her slowly? Move forward? In the past year I have started my own business etc. Everyone says she doesn't deserve me but I can't shrug off the feelings I still have for her Edited October 31, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Date her but don't move in. See if anything has really changed. Tell her if you're still getting along just dating in a year, then you can talk about living together again, but not before. No reason to think the problems have gone away just because she's crying. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Don't set yourself up fir a repeat. Get your own dog. Cut off all contact. That's the reason your head is still in this. You'll never move on if you don't. She's not the one and only girl for you. Stop wasting your life. The only one keeping you in this is you. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 I agree with preraph, take it slow and see how it goes. If you don't give it another shot you might always wonder "what if". Just keep your expectations under control. Link to post Share on other sites
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