Strange relationship

[Laz806]

Hi all I will try to be brief so here we go

 

I'm 31 year old male and met a girl who is 20 in a house share I'm English and she is Lithuanian. We clicked from the start and I was very attracted to her. We got closer and eventually after two weeks we slept together. From here a relationship started.

Although brief around eight weeks the relationship was progressive with us doing things in our free time together. The problem started when her friend and roommate began getting very jealous everytime we would go out etc although she is dating another guy living there and would often leave her alone and go to the guys room after causing a rift.

 

I started to feel that I was being used and would be picked up and dropped by her when her friend would return home. After a fall out I decided it was best to leave and despite tears of the girl I was seeing I left only to receive a message from her saying that she was pregnant and might lose it. Two hours later she claimed to have had a miscarriage yet shortly after this she text saying she was playing "an interesting game" downstairs with housemates, this just doesn't add up to me and the following day she went to work then to a work party in the evening.

We met the day after and spent the weekend together and decided we would get on with the relationship within an hour after we parted ways she text saying that her friend had negative thoughts about me. I was shocked yet she said that it wasn't an issue and that we were still on track. I was just astonished that she would say this. After contemplating things the next day I decided I couldn't trust her and that things just didn't add up telling her this.

[PegNosePete]

This sounds like the kind of drama and stupid games you expect when you're dating a 20 year old.

 

If you want a grown up relationship then I'd look for someone closer to your own age.

[Blonde2002]

I would offer the advice that the problem there is that you are much more mature than she is.

 

 

 

I've dated women 20 years older than myself and 11 years younger than me. What I have found is that age counts for **** all and it's all about the individual.

 

 

In my case, a woman who was 48 played nothing but mind games and was emotionally abusive. But the girl who was 19 was the complete opposite and very level headed.

 

 

So the age in your case could be a factor, but it could also be her as a person and she may be like this for the rest of her life.

 

 

Trust your gut instinct on it. If you are on here talking about it then you know the signals you are getting.

 

 

All the best to you mate.

[Laz806]

I would offer the advice that the problem there is that you are much more mature than she is.

 

 

 

I've dated women 20 years older than myself and 11 years younger than me. What I have found is that age counts for **** all and it's all about the individual.

 

 

In my case, a woman who was 48 played nothing but mind games and was emotionally abusive. But the girl who was 19 was the complete opposite and very level headed.

 

 

So the age in your case could be a factor, but it could also be her as a person and she may be like this for the rest of her life.

 

 

Trust your gut instinct on it. If you are on here talking about it then you know the signals you are getting.

 

 

All the best to you mate.

 

Thank you mate I was thinking exactly the same thing about age and her character. I think it's just who she is. There are just too many coincidences such as this being the second time she has miscarried which she told me all about.

[ExpatInItaly]

This girl is not only immature, but there is something seriously wrong with her if she invented a pregnancy and miscarriage to get your attention.

 

Forget her. She is not girlfriend material.

[Laz806]

Thanks for the reply

[Laz806]

Hi all hoping for some opinions I have another post prior to getting back together with the girl briefly.

 

Met girl in house share back in September and had a brief relationship. She is 19 and I am 31 she is Lithuanian I am English she had also recently split from her boyfriend.

 

I felt an instant attraction to her and she claimed likewise. But I got a feeling she wasn't truthful and would often feel I was being used and picked up and dropped. There were frequent fallouts. She claimed she was pregnant and then said that upon doing another test it was negative.

 

Upon another fallout she attempted to making me jealous by playing a boardgame with a housemates friend at which point I decided enough was enough and moved out. She continued texting me to which I told her I was done and didn't want to know her she then claimed that she had been to the hospital and was pregnant but might lose the baby. I foolishly went along with believing her and two hours later she was crying on the phone saying she had miscarried. What I found strange is that while texting that night she claimed to have been downstairs cooking pizza and playing an interesting game with housemates. The following day she also went to work and to a work event at a restaurant in the evening.

 

I met her the following day and she cried saying she was sorry she had lost our baby, we made up but upon her returning home an hour later she text me saying that her friend didn't think I was a good person after we had argued previously but that it wasn't to affect our relationship. I was slightly confused to say the least.

 

Another fallout happened the next day as I just couldn't understand why she would say that and also a housemate text me saying that he had something to talk about which he could not say on text. I mentioned this to her and said that I felt something strange was going on and that things didn't add up.

 

We had no contact for five days until I went to the house and spoke with her she was initially friendly but turned strange and said to leave which I did upon telling her if I left that was it. I then left and returned home. Around three hours later she text me apologising and ended up coming to my house she told me she had come to look for me after I left but it didn't make sense as I had been waiting nearby for a cab and didn't see her.

 

The next week we were talking on the phone one evening and she brought up getting married which she had done before the next day I messaged her asking her what her ring size was her response was why was I asking that and a series of question marks. I then called her and asked her if she had forgotten what she had said previous night to which she said she had changed her mind. At that point I said that I couldn't trust anything she said and that basically everything was nothing more than a joke I was rude and insulted her but I felt like I was being treated like a fool with constant lies.

 

I called her several days later and she said that she had not been truthful when she said she loved me and missed me throughout relationship but was not lying about the miscarriage. She also claimed she had a miscarriage with her last boyfriend. Also she came out with a story that someone was watching her in a bush when she was in a park one evening via text but said nothing about it when I was sitting with her there and only found out when we went back home and looked at my messages. She told me not to contact her and I haven't it has now been 6 days any advice or opinions would be appreciated.

[doyathinkso]

Well, I dunno, it's your life to do as you please and all with whomsoever you wish but ... this girl sounds bat**** crazy.

[PegNosePete]

This sounds like the kind of drama and stupid games you expect when you're dating a 19 year old.

 

If you want a grown up relationship then I'd look for someone closer to your own age.

[Million.to.1]

Telling you she is pregnant but "might lose it" ?!?! ... How would she know she was going to miscarry? Woman can't know!

Also, if a woman is actually pregnant and has a miscarriage, she would need to go to the hospital afterwards to have a scan and curette. Make sure it has "miscarried" and that there is no remains still in the womb which could cause infection.

 

No one has a miscarriage and are playing "an interesting game" with their room mates 2 hrs later.

 

She is out right lying about that pregnancy and miscarriage.... and is clearly a complete drama queen using lies to sucker you in.

 

Read up on what happens when a woman has a miscarriage and you will see how absolutely ridiculous what she said happened is.

[Laz806]

Telling you she is pregnant but "might lose it" ?!?! ... How would she know she was going to miscarry? Woman can't know!

Also, if a woman is actually pregnant and has a miscarriage, she would need to go to the hospital afterwards to have a scan and curette. Make sure it has "miscarried" and that there is no remains still in the womb which could cause infection.

 

No one has a miscarriage and are playing "an interesting game" with their room mates 2 hrs later.

 

She is out right lying about that pregnancy and miscarriage.... and is clearly a complete drama queen using lies to sucker you in.

 

Read up on what happens when a woman has a miscarriage and you will see how absolutely ridiculous what she said happened is.

 

Thank you for taking the time to reply. She said she was two weeks pregnant after going to the hospital after pain in her stomach thinking it was appendicitis something seemed strange that she finally went to the hospital the day I moved out and text me informing me within hours.

 

Something didn't add up when she said she was heavily bleeding and hysterically crying on the phone and an hour or two later said she was cooking pizza and "playing an interesting game" with other housemates then went to work the following day and to a work do in the evening.

 

I just didn't think someone would lie about such a thing although it seemed a bit odd at the time also when a woman tells you that and is in tears it is hard to turn them away.

[ExpatInItaly]

This girl is not emotionally stable, OP.

 

The pregnancy and miscarriage are a complete fabrication. There are many things she apparently doesn't know about miscarriages, because if she did, she'd at least have a better cover story. Hers is almost laughable, it's so obviously not true. I don't even know where to begin with her claim that someone was watching her from a bush. And why were you even entertaining the idea of marriage to this person? This was barely even a relationship and she is out of tree. You cannot be that desperate, man.

 

Is this is the type immature drama that you find attractive? Are there no other women closer to your own age and maturity level that you could go out with?

Edited November 19, 2018 by ExpatInItaly

[Laz806]

This girl is not emotionally stable, OP.

 

The pregnancy and miscarriage are a complete fabrication. There are many things she apparently doesn't know about miscarriages, because if she did, she'd at least have a better cover story. Hers is almost laughable, it's so obviously not true. I don't even know where to begin with her claim that someone was watching her from a bush. And why were you even entertaining the idea of marriage to this person? This was barely even a relationship and she is out of tree. You cannot be that desperate, man.

 

Is this is the type immature drama that you find attractive? Are there no other women closer to your own age and maturity level that you could go out with?

 

Thank you for your reply. To be honest as corny as it may sound but I felt strong feelings for her from the start when she moved in. I didn't really even consider her age and to be honest thought she was a lot older at first.

[ExpatInItaly]

Thank you for your reply. To be honest as corny as it may sound but I felt strong feelings for her from the start when she moved in. I didn't really even consider her age and to be honest thought she was a lot older at first.

 

Based on...what? You didn't know her. I suspect you're confusing strong feelings with lust.

 

Now that you know that she is not only very young but also emotionally extremely immature, you need to close this door.

[Laz806]

Based on...what? You didn't know her. I suspect you're confusing strong feelings with lust.

 

Now that you know that she is not only very young but also emotionally extremely immature, you need to close this door.

 

OK thank you for your time.