MountainGirl111 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I don't think you can assume anything about her attitude or trying to sabotage, etc. She could just be very mixed up down deep inside and doesn't know how to be vulnerable with you. She may equate being vulnerable with being open. Her behavior may not be intentional at all. Sleeping 3 hours in the middle of the day? That's not too normal unless she works odd hours. Any history of substance abuse? How does she sleep at night? If she is sleeping at night, she shouldn't need to sleep so much during the day. She could also be depressed as depressed people can sometimes stay in bed .... that might be her way of isolating herself. The shut down in communication may also be a sign of depression. It sounds like she has a flat affect at times and is very moody and explosive at other times; cranky....crabby.....irritable.....another sign of depression. Happy Birthday! Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) Okay, I know you're looking for some answers here. This might help: Rather than trying to figure it out by what she is ..(based on what you currently know)....go at it from an angle of what she is NOT. That might seem backwards....but at this point, what have you got to lose? What is she NOT? You're only going to have limited info on that because you don't know her entire history or past. But, (bear with me) she has done a better job at showing you what she is NOT, than sharing with you what she IS. You may be able to come up with some answers simply based on process of elimination. That thought may come across as completely whacky....but again...what have you got to lose? Edited November 3, 2018 by MountainGirl111 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) Gaeta - actually no. We didn't "date" as such but from everything we spoke about etc... it seemed right and is what we were both looking for. Threw caution to the wind - but do not judge please. All I am saying, we have been through a pretty rough time recently. I just want to know what I can do. I do tell her about that it would be nice if she communicated with me more but...I just get a smile or a nodding head or if she is in her mood then it's a "I am, aren't I?" when she actually really isn't. To understand what is going on we need the context. Why didn't you date? Is this an arrange marriage? Did you agree to marry for citizenship? Also why isn't her things all in your place? Why isn't she all moved in after 2 years? Having a conversation about marriage and having verbal agreement is nothing compared to spending day to day together. Your problems sound all coming from you and her not knowing each other, and the bits you're starting to know about each other you don't like. She's nonchalant, passive-aggressive, verbaly mean, closed off, distrustful, this is who she is. Edited November 3, 2018 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
David33 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Sounds like she should talk to a therapist. Couple counseling doesn't work if one of them isn't all there yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts