just1looking2 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Its been almost 2 weeks since my GF/EX announced she needed some space. She never formally said breakup, and specifically said she wasnt insisntat on NC but that she wasnt going to reach out, leaving it to me. I have been giving her what she asked for, it has not been easy. Neither of us is really on social media much, maybe 1 or 2 times a week, but we both seem to have kept everything intact. photos, relationship status etc. Neither of us posts much anyway, i am mostly on there to access a business page. Anyway, last week i posted a picture. I went to a place she may or may not recognize, to think and meditate and made a nice picture. Today she "loved" it .....and also posted she is taking a break from facebook. It could mean a number of things....im curious what you think it means. ????? Those with more experience with the social media nuances (on the odd 1 in a 1,000,000,000 chance she finds this page and this post and thinks this is about her/us, let me just add a hello, I miss you and hope you are finding your happiness in the thoughts of moving on or returning" Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Did the picture have artistic merit? And is she the type to 'love' a photo which is beautiful? Link to post Share on other sites
Author just1looking2 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 Did the picture have artistic merit? And is she the type to 'love' a photo which is beautiful? yes and yes..but probably would keep that thought to herself during this particular time, but maybe not Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 If she is not reaching out to you to talk about working things out, I wouldn't read into it, OP. Why did she want space from the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Reading your other thread I feel the ball is in your court. She broke up due to the hopelessness of the situation with you and her daughter, and your comment ""i cant imagine that we could get a place now because I worry that I would feel uncomfortable in my own home"". She wants you to fight for the relationship. Hence the trail of breadcrumbs which you failed to pick up and the "she wasnt going to reach out, leaving it to me". Link to post Share on other sites
Author just1looking2 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) Reading your other thread I feel the ball is in your court. She broke up due to the hopelessness of the situation with you and her daughter, and your comment ""i cant imagine that we could get a place now because I worry that I would feel uncomfortable in my own home"". She wants you to fight for the relationship. Hence the trail of breadcrumbs which you failed to pick up and the "she wasnt going to reach out, leaving it to me". respectfully, I dont think i "failed" anything. she asked fro time and space and I am giving that, checking in twice, gently. but thank you There are no few than 6000 words on this site devoted to not contacting people who ask for space, N/C rules, breaking N/C etc etc Edited November 1, 2018 by just1looking2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 I guess when she kept calling you she wanted to hear "something" from you. When that was never forthcoming, she stayed broken up, then next day she tried again... NC is a "trick" for people to break up in a way that causes the dumpee the least emotional harm. Out of sight - out of mind. It is not designed to heal relationships or get dumpers to change their mind. It is purely about moving on... If you want to move on then move on, but this is not the usual break up story we get here, so perhaps the advice needs a bit of modifying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author just1looking2 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 I guess when she kept calling you she wanted to hear "something" from you. When that was never forthcoming, she stayed broken up, then next day she tried again... NC is a "trick" for people to break up in a way that causes the dumpee the least emotional harm. Out of sight - out of mind. It is not designed to heal relationships or get dumpers to change their mind. It is purely about moving on... If you want to move on then move on, but this is not the usual break up story we get here, so perhaps the advice needs a bit of modifying. Thank you...that is helpful. healing is what i think we both think is happening. sadly there is no roadmap..so therefore misteps Link to post Share on other sites
Endnote Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 It's pretty rare when people actually put some space between each other that things begin to workout. It's never a good sign. That said, if I were in your position, I'd consider how long are you okay with waiting around for her to figure her sh*t out? A month? A year? Only for her to finally end things. In my experience that kind of ambiguous "idk what I want" "I need to find what makes me happy" other BS platitudes that don't tell you anything only hurt more the longer you stick around. It's never easy to make a decision to walk away from something like this. You're in a unique position where she hasn't really said she wanted to break up. But you need to decide how long are you willing to wait and how much pain are you willing to endure. I'd put my cards on the table, tell her this isn't what I want but I'm not going to wait around for her to feel better about staying in the relationship (you have to mean it and stick with it) but if she changed her mind, let me know. Then walk away. If she ever comes back you'll be in a better position to make an informed emotional decision (hopefully a lot of time has passed). Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 It's social media. It's meaningless. If you are apart disconnect on social media & then you won't have this problem any more. Link to post Share on other sites
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