pippen_2k Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 You shouldnt be lost Kodiak, cause you have 74 replies on this thread with people giving you their thoughts and trying to help.. its up to you if you wanna listen to them. Its very very clear to everyone else except you cause our vision is not clouded by emotions... You answered every question yourself in your last 3 posts in regards to why this is happening, and why she popped into your life all of a sudden, so now its time to cut this girl away cause look what she is doing to you..... Cut her away now, or f*** up another 6 or so months of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 Pippen2k- We dated for about a year. It was a great relationship overall however it was long distance. We did see each other alot and did many things togther. It was weird to me because of alot of things we did were a first for her and I. For example we visited her whole entire family back east which she has never done with any other BF. I guess thats stupid to think it meant anything.. Regardless we were just very close. When we started to talk again she told me how i was such an amazing guy and that i was by far the sweetest most caring person that she has ever been with, etc... All a bunch of crap i guess. Anyways we broke up bc basically i screwed up the relationship with my mind games that i played on myself. I thought that bc I didnt hear from her that she didnt love me anymore and that she was with someone else. Just stupid stuff that i regret till this day. So we broke up and that was it. A few random phone calls from her the last was Dec, 2004. Then nothing until Feb that she sent me some kinda love letter telling all the same things. Amazing, sweet, caring and that she is really relaizing it all know, etc...I guess again a bunch of bull****. Then i go for what 7 months without a word. Nothing at all. So I am moving on just fine in my life when she decides to pop back in. Thats were this all started. So as you can say thats why im hurt and i just cant understand. Why would this girl play these games with me when she knew how much i hurt when we broke up. Thats not fair. I was doing just fine in my life. Sure i thought about her everyday but i didnt have that sting when i did. I know there is really nothing to say to me but im just very confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted November 13, 2005 Author Share Posted November 13, 2005 Hey Everybody- I driving around today and i got a strange revelationn came over me. This girl is flat out pllaying games with my head. She has to be and im not going to allow myself to feel crappy about it any longer. I have shed enough tears in the past over her that i cant afford to loose anymore. I was not in a relationship with her in the last month so what am i so upset about? Sure it hurt alot because she popped into my life out of the blue and took me for a ride. Sure by her actions I thought that i was getting a second chance with her. Sure i fell hard again for her. But you not what my friends, now im just angry. Im angry at her for leading me on to beleive something that was never going to happen but im also pissed at myself. Since i got back from my visit to her i have been a wreck. Not sleeping well, being sad, all that crap. I didnt loose anything by visiting her and i didnt gain much either. However i know in my heart i was a great bf to her and that I treated her like the princess she is. Right now, she is the one that is screwed up. What kind of person leads someone on, then once they get what they want (me visiting her) walks out of their life all over again. She hasnt called since i have gotten back. I figure she got her fix and has left teh building again. I just cant figure it out but i cant let it get me down. I still love this girl with all my heart but right now, today, we are not meant to be. Sure i miss talking to her and maybe she will never call again but I have to be strong. Im not going to text her anymore or call her. All that does is make me look desperate and readily availbale to her. Im moving on with my life without her. I was hoping that this trip would give me some closure. Why couldnt she tell me she will never love me again, or that she has no romantic interest in me at all. Why couldnt she tell me that there was no sparks. Except she had to be hot and cold with me. It makes me think that she is confused and obviously has her own issues going on in her head. Like i said before and im sure I will say again. What ex would call you out of the blue after a year and a half, continus to call you everyday multiple times, tell u sweet things, send you pictures, send you gifts, have you come stay with her and then just live you high and try. I like to think that good people dont do this and lead people on but maybe she has some issues. Maybe she got scared, i jsut dont know. My mom said that she would hope that none of her daughters would ever do that to a guy they knew loved them like I loved my ex. In the meantime im just going to focus and move on. This heartache wont last long because there was nothing there in the beggining. Im sure she will call and one of these days when i feel the time is right I would like to ask some of the questions I have.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 Hey Everybody- Well i finally got a text from the ex after four days of being home from visiting her. She said that doesnt hate me but that she doesnt feel as we should talk anymore because of the emotions that came out when I saw her. The bottome line is that i know i cant be with her. Even if she did love me she lives far away and i couldnt to a LDR again. So why did i go in the firstplace? I have been asking myself the same question since i got back, what did i plan to accomplish going there. I am so mad that I told her how i felt, its just I had too. It was more of the fact that she is an amazing girl and we had such a great time together that I was sad to leave. Sure some old feelings snuck up on me that i didnt expect. Trust me I dont know why that happened. I want her to be able to call me and talk to me again like it was before i went out there. If she doest want to have contact with me anymore than just let me explain to her why I felt the way I did. Have any of you experienced what I felt when i was with her? It was like a wave of emotions that came and left but i opened my mouth and talked about them to her. I was doing fine until she started to cry then I lost it myself. I know that we are most likely never meant to be. However it was so nice having her back in my life just talking to her, nothing more, nothing less. No she thinks that I fell for her all over again and she wont call be. What can I do know. Hope she misses talking to me and eventually will call again or what another year before I hear from her? Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 You did go there with the hope of a second chance, and you did fall for her all over again, no denying it! She was right, and it would be way to hard for her to talk or hang with you anymore... you just gotta accept that now and move on. Small talking and chit chat with this girl would be no good for you newayz dude. She aint the 'Fantastic' girl you make her out to be, cause if she was this would never have happened. You cant be her friend, and you dont wanna be her friend.. take my word on this one... Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 She aint the 'Fantastic' girl you make her out to be I totally agree...if she was so fantastic, she wouldn't have mislead you - lured you in then left you hanging like that with no contact, always doing whatever she feels like with no regard to how it makes you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodiak Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 Pippen2k, hotcaligirl- Thank you for yoru replies. I know you guys are right and she is not that fantastic like i thought she is. Obviously i just have to realize that and accept it is what it is and move on. Its jsut so hard. In a way i did fall for her but even if she did want to be with me, I couldnt be in a LDR again. So down the road if she comes around and she wants to be with me then she will have to move. I just wish i knew what her intentions behind all the phone calls, gifts, pics of us, etc... were. She called me last night and it felt good because i kinda gave her a taste of her own medicine. She got defensive and I could tell she is fighting within her. She has some feelings inside her that she is fighting. I dont know if they are about me or something else going on in her life. She said that all our excessive talking was just stupid and that she doesnt know why we did talk so much. A bunch of crap. Then she said i dont want to hold you back from anything in your life and I replied "dont worry your not at all" I told her that I will continue to have fun, work hard at my job, meet myself a nice girl, and enjoy life" Its just so funny how ex's pop into your life for whatever reason and just turn it inside out. This girl gets me at my knees for whatever reason. I will never know unless she tells me why she did all she did. I will go nutz trying to figure it all out and i will just make stuff up in my head that probably is not true. Maybe she was lonely and called me, maybe she wanted to see if there were any sparks and there wasnt, maybe she got cold feet about starting something with me because she knows the distance is a factor, who knows? We had a great time together and I know that there are still feelings im sure on her side. What kind of feelings i dont know. Maybe hate for all i know. I will need help through this one my freinds but i cant let it get me done too much..thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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