Getting To Know Someone I'm Interested In.

[Epythamus]

Naturally, when you meet someone new, you'll start asking them different question and all that jibba jabba.

 

Now, my question is, how do I ask questions to a girl I'm interested in without making seem like an interrogation and eventually scare her off or annoy her?

[Garcon1986]

I would look at any youtube video from the World Science Festival - as an example of what not to do. You don't ask strings of questions rapid fire. That's an interview.

 

Asking questions and then showing interested body language, a warm tone, and acting interested in her - is what wins the day. You should follow up questions with statements that display interest, like "let's hear about it", or "I didn't know that about Taylor Swift".

 

Practice makes perfect. Think a little about if you met a bro you really like as a buddy, and what you did with each other in conversation. Use that as a low pressure example.

[preraph]

If you confine your questions and comments to just your immediate surroundings and just chitchat, it will be perfectly normal and you'll just seem friendly. Then you can build from there if she seems friendly back and receptive to getting to know you and talking. Don't start asking her personal questions until you have just chatted about general stuff first and know that she likes to talk to you.

[Nilfiry]

By initiating casual conversation, [showing interest,] and then steering the flow of the conversation into the direction that you want.

 

Say you want to know her favorite color. You can casually comment her outfit one day, and say something like, "nice dress--that color looks great on you."

 

Pretty simple conversation that people strike up all the time when they see someone wearing something interesting, but the key is the follow up. You could just as easily follow up with questions or comments like, "where did you get it?" but by mentioning how the color coordination looks, you subtly open a window toward the direction where it may be possible to get her to naturally reveal her favorite color on her own as part of the conversation.

 

From then on, you want to slightly nudge the conversation toward the answer that you want with every exchange without being too forceful. Do not be direct with the question unless opportunity allows, but do not be too far off course either. Keep the topic of the conversation around the questions you want answered and wait for it to come out on its own. If things get off course, you just let it be and try again in another conversation. You risk making things awkward or shutting down the talk completely if you try to drag the conversation back on topic too suddenly. Doing this, you may also learn a lot of things that you did not even think of asking.

 

The key to learning about people is really to just interact as often as you reasonably can. People tend to reveal a lot more about themselves than they are even aware of if you give them the opportunity.

Edited November 2, 2018 by Nilfiry

[Lotsgoingon]

Same way you would talk to a guy ... you start with safe topics ... weather, sports ... news ... standing in line ... a long line ... anything ...

 

I don't know the context you mean for meeting "someone new."

 

But I talk to servers at my favorite local cafe for example. How's your day? Did you open this morning? What time do you guys open?

 

You start with low-stakes questions ... you don't approach someone and say, "What's your dating history like?"

 

Make sense? Over time you'll practice being relaxed asking questions ... and you'll notice when someone answers with enthusiasm ... the people who answer with enthusiasm are possibly showing interest in you ... Also people may ask you questions ...

[basil67]

Naturally, when you meet someone new, you'll start asking them different question and all that jibba jabba.

 

Now, my question is, how do I ask questions to a girl I'm interested in without making seem like an interrogation and eventually scare her off or annoy her?

 

I wouldn’t suggest that you start by asking questions. Instead, I’d start by having a conversation where you get to know each other. Sharing thoughts, ideas and looking for connection is the way to go.