would appreciate some advice...

[simpleinterest]

my wife returned home after having been gone for just over a week. she had been away visiting friends. she casually commented that she had talked with a man seated in front of her while flying back. their conversation was about his children, his divorce and other things pertaining to where we live. several days later, during an argument...she said that if we were to divorce that i would never find anyone else, but she wouldn't have any problem finding someone. i later questioned her about that...and, she told me that the man she chatted with on her flight home was interested in her. the next day she told me that she was unhappy with me and our marriage and asked me to leave. what should i make of this, specifically this man she met?

[Craig]

my wife returned home after having been gone for just over a week. she had been away visiting friends. she casually commented that she had talked with a man seated in front of her while flying back. their conversation was about his children, his divorce and other things pertaining to where we live. several days later, during an argument...she said that if we were to divorce that i would never find anyone else, but she wouldn't have any problem finding someone. i later questioned her about that...and, she told me that the man she chatted with on her flight home was interested in her. the next day she told me that she was unhappy with me and our marriage and asked me to leave. what should i make of this, specifically this man she met?

Is your wife in the habit of saying unkind things to you? Does your wife often make threats and then not carry them out or does she always do what she says she will do?

[LucreziaBorgia]

she casually commented that she had talked with a man seated in front of her while flying back

 

I can't help but wonder if she left out some important information:

 

1. That she already knew this guy.

2. She spent part/some/all of the week with him.

3. She has intended to leave you for him for a while.

 

In an affair, the first truth is NEVER the whole truth. Why? Because they will only give up enough 'truth' that will not affect or end the affair. You are getting probably 5% of the truth, if that much. The person the WS has been banging non-stop for six months becomes "an acquaintance from the office". A passionate, heavy duty sex session becomes "we just kissed". A lover becomes someone your WS will tell you that he/she thinks is "gay and no threat". A MM/MW who spends time and effort landing the OW/OM tells you that the OW/OM is a "crazy stalker". Sometimes the WS won't even give you a name...

 

I don't think a stranger on an airplane would exact enough of a reaction to make someone want to leave an otherwise happy marriage. Sounds like there are some serious cracks in your marital foundation, and this "mystery man" is symptomatic of that. Sounds to me like she's been laying some groundwork to leave that you have no idea was going on. This guy may have been seeing her for longer than you think.

 

If she is adamant about leaving you, refuses any and all offers of reconciliation, and already has your bags packed for you to leave there is little you can do. You can let her know that you love her, you want to save your marriage, and all that - but unless she is on the same page it won't do you much good.

 

Regardless of ANY of the above speculative information, you will want to contact a lawyer, ASAP and consider a PI. Even if you end up reconciling, the last thing you want right now is to leave yourself open for the 'adding insult to injury assraping' that your W could possibly level on you in a divorce settlement done in the heat of an affair.

[Ladyjane14]

She was more than likely just angry because of the arguement, and wanted to let you know that you're 'not the last man on Earth'. Not nice, true.....but pretty common for all that.

 

Sounds like you have some marital issues to address. Don't chase phantoms or let the potential for jealousy distract you. Identify and address the problems.

 

While there is the possibility that some other man has gained her attention, I very much doubt that it was the guy on the plane. It's more likely that after spending a week with her friends, she's become discontented with some of the unresolved issues in your relationship. Maybe she's been comparing her lifestyle with that of her friends and found it lacking.

 

Anyway, there are too many other things it could be. Don't cross the Infidelity-bridge until you have to.