How to deal with the loneliness?

[Slapsh0t]

I just went through my first breakup ever. It was probably the most painful experience of my life, to the point where it brought back my depression and suicidal thoughts from before. I had to take a gap semester because it was affecting my schoolwork and grades.

 

This is probably the loneliest period of my life. I'm not in college when everyone else is, so I can't see my high school or college friends, who are obviously having fun from their instagram and snap stories. My ex boyfriend, who I currently hold very bitter feelings towards, is also having fun, meeting new people and I also think might be seeing someone (though this is just inference). I'm on several dating apps but the guys all pretty much just want sex, throwing me these low effort bread crumbs in hope for something.

 

I'm just home alone most of the time. I have a part time job, I do stuff, but I just feel so lonely. If I was prettier or more outgoing, it wouldn't be so hard to find someone new. I'm not necessarily unattractive, but I'm not beautiful enough to the point where I can just rely on that for a partner (hence the loads of guys asking me for sex but not much else). And I'm shy and suck at forming relationships with other people, especially guys, so dating has always been tough for me (I just had my first "relationship", I'm 20 years old and even that only lasted for nine months).

 

I'm going to therapy, going back on the antidepressants. I go out, run errands, go the gym, go to work. But other than that I just sit at home, marathon a netflix show and ruminate over my ex while talking to f*ckboys in hopes that it'll make me feel better. My friends have all become rather distant as their busy with their lives. I feel trapped, hopeless and like I'm going absolutely nowhere. Everyday is a struggle to live.

[Odettefaith]

All breakups are painful but know what the pain goes away over time! Time is the most amazing thing God has given us.

 

Oh and you are so young! Just 20. Going to a therapist sounds like a good idea. You know I think u r doing all the right things right now. Feeling depressed alone etc. Its normal. Trust me it will get better.

 

If I were you I probably ask myself if there's something I want to learn or is there a community I can join for some healthy activities so it can take some time off my thoughts.

 

Eventually you're gonna walk out of it but for now I hope you don't go into stealth mode of stalking him on social media and all because guys and girls deal with breakups very differently.

 

He may start to go for drinks every night or having fun having a rebound. But for girls we just get extremely depressed during the first few days/weeks and then we get out of it.

 

If you feel like crying just cry your hearts out but don't don't text him or have any form of contacts. Usually men will contact you themselves (from my experience).

 

You are doing great cuz at least you identify your own emotions which is great. Go know new people go join some new activities. If you are shy that's fine. Just go on n do something you really like.

 

Life is not just about relationships. There's so much more to do and to be involved in. I hope you feel better.

 

Watch a romance movie cry all you want and you will feel better soon enough. Good luck! ♡

[d0nnivain]

All break ups are painful. Your underlying insecurities are making this feel even worse.

 

Stay off social media. Seriously. People's lives aren't as much fun as social media makes it look but you can't tell that by looking.

 

Work with your therapist. Read some self esteem books. I'm sure you are pretty but to the extent you don't think so experiment with things that you think improve your appearance. Do something to advance your education during this gap semester. Take an on line class or something. Remember you are going to get back into the swing of things, next semester which isn't that far off.