Wanting to Reconcile with Ex after 6 Months?

[jenai]

Hello,

 

I'm a 17 year old and I had my first boyfriend just around March when I was 16. We met in a college course and he started texting me. I didn't talk much at first and I was very unsure of him and he thought I'd rejected him, but we started going out and eventually started dating.

 

I was very confused by the whole concept of dating because like I said, he was my first boyfriend. I was very shy and didn't like to say too much in case I said something wrong, and he was worried about this and used to do a lot of the talking, but I still felt a connection. He had similar personality traits and interests to me.

 

Because I was frustrated by the fact that I couldn't express myself properly, I soon started many arguments with him. The first was the fact that his ex still had him and her as her profile picture on basically everything, and he promised he didn't talk to her since they broke up. After that were arguments where I basically criticized him, but we would make up in no time.

 

Of course this broke the relationship down and he became wary of me. I thought he would leave me, and I suppose my logic at the time was "Well I should leave him before he leaves me so he won't see how much it hurts me." So that's what I did. The relationship lasted almost two months in total. We ended on alright terms, but I felt like I didn't express myself enough during the relationship and when we finished.

 

I regretted it not too long afterwards, but I didn't say anything to him. I was pretty confused as to how to react when I saw him in public, so I ultimately ignored him every time I saw him. He ended up deleting me on Facebook which he never did to any of his other exes. After all that, I texted him about three months post-breakup asking him how he was and we had a decent conversation and he seemed positive to talk to me.

 

When I returned to school in September, I figured out from my friend that he had texted her not too long after we broke up and I was really hurt by this. My best friend then told me he probably did this and deleting me from Facebook for attention from me, but I was just feeling insecure and questioning everything that happened between us.

 

I still continue to think about him now, 6 months later. I'm not sure if it's because I want to get back with him or if I just want to express myself properly and have some closure. I suppose I feel kind of stupid for feeling this way since the relationship was so short, but he was my first boyfriend and he was a nice guy and I just messed it all up.

 

I guess what I'm asking is, am I in the wrong? Should I text him, even if it's just to express how I feel? Any input would be helpful.

 

Thank you,

 

Jennifer

Edited November 5, 2018 by jenai

[d0nnivain]

You have hurt this boy enough. Don't go bothering him again just so you can get some closure. It's wrong to put him through more pain just to make yourself feel better.

 

If you said you were all in, ready to sincerely apologize & make things work with him, I'd give you a green light to reach out but with a caution that he probably doesn't care to speak to you because he doesn't trust you.

 

But since you admit you don't know if you want reconciliation or closure, you need to stay away. You are still not ready for a relationship & it's cruel for you to use him to figure yourself out.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, just leave him be now. Your ego is getting in the way and it will only bring him more pain.

 

Learn from this experience and apply those lessons to your next relationship.