jonesgirly Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 I cannot even stand my own self. I am angry, hurt, sad, confused, and in general..........pretty miserable right now. Here's the whole story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t69919/ My husband continues to make statements that belittle the situation like: "I didn't DO anything (i.e, physical)". It infuriates me to hear these kinds of things when I have lost everything that mattered to me. No longer do I have the trust that was assumed, or the safe home that was important. I'm fine for most of the work week - probably because of all the distractions of life. Then here comes the weekend, and its all that I can think about. I/we talk about it alot on the weekend, but I usually just end up angry or frustrated. How in the world did he think it was OKAY to have this girl as his "bestfriend" as he accidentally admitted tonight? How did he think it was okay to "miss" her when she left the company and then PURSUE her for TWO MONTHS..........but get this.......He NEVER would've actually had sex with her - yeah, right. He lied to me about the whole thing, and keeps saying that he thought I'd be mad if I knew how much he talked to her. Well of course I would've been! I need to know.........what are the "stages" of emotions a person goes through when they are in this situation? How does each "stage" get resolved? I know that his honesty would've helped a lot (didn't get it), and whether or not HE told me about this EA (of course he didn't). How do you deal with a husband who is not usually very communicative or emotional. He gets defensive very easily - in ALL aspects of life (not just this situation). I feel like he was WAAYYY too willing to pack his bags and leave when I say that out of frustration. I feel he quickly assumes the situation is hopeless and doesnt' have the strength it takes to "fix" this. I feel like I am constantly monitoring HIS emotional well-being, while I should be the one that HE is trying to help through this! I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't even know what to ask anymore. I'm so angry right now that he did this I could spit nails. She was his "best friend", the talked all the time at work, then when she left he suddently became attracted to her physically (hence the two months of 2,3,4 times daily cellphone calls), but would'nt have slept with her? He spent the evening of our party with her because he "missed her", he called her a few days later because he wanted to know from HER if his behavior "was of line" even though I thought it was? There is probably people out here that have had spouses do the same things, only handle it much differently? Is there anyone with experience that can tell me how to get through each of these feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinTX Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 He gets defensive very easily - in ALL aspects of life (not just this situation). Sounds like something is still lingering and he is hiding/holding on to it. Not sure about the stages.......1st I was just glad he came home. 2nd then I hated OW and had lots of questions that DH answered all. Now I'm at the stage where I'm learning what I really do want.........thinking more about myself and the pain. We are doing much better without any counseling. Don't think it is for every problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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