Author attheend Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 Wife is moving out to her own apartment tomorrow. I gave her the option to work on the relationship, but she chose separation. I almost got going on Divorce busters, but didn't have the heart to force the issues that they espouse. Probably because I was on the fence also. She admitted to sexting with him - but swears there has never been any meet up. I'm not convinced, but am sure it will occur now, because she is really into him. Somewhat relieved, but that is probably short lived. Typical emotional roller coaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Cut off all unnecessary contact at this time. If you don’t it’ll just make this worse on you. No contact means no contact. Text or emails business only. Keep those short and to a minimum. Talk will get you nothing in these situations Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 She’s moving out so she can screw him at will with you out of the way. File D as soon as possible. Living the life of a cuckold isn’t worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 She’s moving out so she can screw him at will with you out of the way. File D as soon as possible. Living the life of a cuckold isn’t worth it. Thanks Marc878 NC requires 1 year of separation. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Upfront cut her off. You’ll be fine if you can do that. Sorry you’re going through this Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted November 9, 2018 Author Share Posted November 9, 2018 Yes she works - About a year ago I agreed that she go part time, that is probably when she found enough time to look up old boy friends. She's probably going to have to work a lot more now. Unless the OM marries her... which he told her he would. Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Yes she works - About a year ago I agreed that she go part time, that is probably when she found enough time to look up old boy friends. She's probably going to have to work a lot more now. Unless the OM marries her... which he told her he would. Your story makes me sad. It is why I always avoided jobs that required me to be out of town often. Too much time on her hands while you're working your tail off...well, this scenario is very common. So, she thinks she is going to marry someone and leave her husband for a guy she hasn't seen in many years and their only connection is over the Internet. Well, you can feel good about the huge mistake she is going to make. When he smells or shows his 'warts' that we all have, let's see if she gets depressed and crawls back to the man who gave her 28 years of his life. How is your son taking this? Link to post Share on other sites
overtherainbow1 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Wife is moving out to her own apartment tomorrow. I gave her the option to work on the relationship, but she chose separation. I almost got going on Divorce busters, but didn't have the heart to force the issues that they espouse. Probably because I was on the fence also. She admitted to sexting with him - but swears there has never been any meet up. I'm not convinced, but am sure it will occur now, because she is really into him. Somewhat relieved, but that is probably short lived. Typical emotional roller coaster. What does this part mean? People here are knowledgeable, but they have different opinions and techniques. A lot is the same. She is already wayward, who knows if it's gone all the way yet, but it's on her either way. Link to post Share on other sites
overtherainbow1 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 And she will likely have to work a lot more when she moves out and you make it more difficult for her to have ends meet. Don't make it easy for her to have a single/dating life while she's still married to you. How do you propose that he stops her from doing anything she wants to? And better yet, why? Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Oh man, you're 51 and shes 60?? Take this opportunity presented to you and find yourself a younger woman!! You will not be disappointed!! Embrace your new found freedom and go with it, don't worry about what she's up to, she's on the wrong side of 60!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 Did you move money into your name only? Did you cut off all credit cards you have with her? You don't want to be making it easy for her to have you fund this move. If she wants to move - make her pay for it herself. I think we did everything needed.. She has moved out and we are working on it. She was my wife of 25 years - I'm not going treat her badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 She was my wife of 25 years - I'm not going treat her badly. I admire you for taking the high road, but don’t be surprised if you don’t receive equal treatment in return.... Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 I think we did everything needed.. She has moved out and we are working on it. She was my wife of 25 years - I'm not going treat her badly. You don't have to treat her badly. You just cut her off. Period She's dumping you for another man. If you try and nice her back, do the infamous "pick me" dance it just lowers your status and make her other man look that much better. You pursue they alwats move even farther away. You'd be smart to cut off all contact and go your own way. Wake up if you haven't 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Your wife is a very typical lying cheater. She's rewritten your marital history to justify her affair. She doesn't mind ****ting all over you, your family and marriage. Whatever you do don't enable that behavior. Don't try and help hide her affair, lie and keep your son in the dark, etc. These are all her consequences. Let her deal with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 ^^^^ Yup. Read 'No more Mr. Nice Guy'. A woman in an affair and who has moved out is not the loving woman you married. She may not come at you like an enemy but she's no longer your friend. Accept the real. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 I never said treat her badly. I just don't see any reason why YOU need to pay for her new place so she can screw around with her new OM. Since that's what she wants - then SHE needs to fund her new life! Look, you provided a life for her but now she wants a new life without you. You do realize that, right? If you pay - you are just consigning all the bs - which HELPS her to treat you even more poorly while she makes a new home with her new lover. I understand. I'm just trying to keep amicable while working out the details of the separation. I would prefer not to pay lawyers and am trying to come up with a solution that meets both our needs. We don't have assets worthy of a long battle. I'm hoping we can work with a mediator to iron out the details. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 I understand. I'm just trying to keep amicable while working out the details of the separation. I would prefer not to pay lawyers and am trying to come up with a solution that meets both our needs. We don't have assets worthy of a long battle. I'm hoping we can work with a mediator to iron out the details. I think that is a very sensible approach. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted November 13, 2018 Author Share Posted November 13, 2018 Never thought I'd feel this way again. Not sure listening to my Zeppelin albums is helping lol. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Oh man, you're 51 and shes 60?? Take this opportunity presented to you and find yourself a younger woman!! You will not be disappointed!! Embrace your new found freedom and go with it, don't worry about what she's up to, she's on the wrong side of 60!! Are you suggesting that younger women don't cheat on their hudbands? Or that them being young and the sex is better makes the cheating justifiable? Don't get me wrong, I think the OP should go on with divorce, but saying he should be happy to get rid of his old wife after 25 years, it sounds kinda cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Never thought I'd feel this way again. Not sure listening to my Zeppelin albums is helping lol. No doubt...at least in Led Zeppelin 1 and 2, there is some pretty consistent woman hate themes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted December 20, 2018 Author Share Posted December 20, 2018 Just wanted to update my situation - Still separated - Attended mediation and came to a workable agreement - I may have given a little too much, but avoided long term alimony. I'm still having some issues dealing, but am working out and going out - meeting people, and attending counseling. I think I'm going to cancel counseling as I'm not sure its doing much for me. Working on selling the house as I didn't want the risk of buying her out. Looking forward to finding a new place to call my own. The house is too big and empty. Christmas week will be interesting as Christmas, my birthday and her birthday are all in the same week. All in all, doing ok, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Run a hard 180 no contact. It sucks upfront but will be your best path. Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted December 20, 2018 Author Share Posted December 20, 2018 Run a hard 180 no contact. It sucks upfront but will be your best path. Thanks Marc878 - Working on the 180 - still have to communicate over financial issues, though. Any communication has been short and business, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 The best method is communication by text or email only. Civil, short and on point only. Never engage. Ignore anything that's not pertinent. You're likely like most get breadcrumbs, let's be friends, etc. none of that is for you. It would just keep you bound up in something that you need to get away from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author attheend Posted December 26, 2018 Author Share Posted December 26, 2018 The best method is communication by text or email only. Civil, short and on point only. Never engage. Ignore anything that's not pertinent. You're likely like most get breadcrumbs, let's be friends, etc. none of that is for you. It would just keep you bound up in something that you need to get away from. Thanks again Marc878 - I appreciate your advice and support. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts