elaine567 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 I thought he was going to book a hotel for you? Losing your virginity in the back of a truck is not really ideal. Is this guy married/attached? How old is he?
Art_Critic Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 But if he is doing this in lieu of taking you on a proper date, then no, not good. after re-reading the OP I do think this also applies... if he only was after a release and he then basically took you home instead of spending time with you then it isn't a great thing and you are setting yourself up to be used and set aside... 2
BaileyB Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Linna, I feel like we have had this discussion before... A man who picks you up at 11pm and wants sex in the car is only looking for sex with you. If you want a man to date you and have a relationship, you need to find another man. 3
Author Linaa Posted November 7, 2018 Author Posted November 7, 2018 Linaa This guy is a predator & you are too naïve to see it. He doesn't love you. He's using you. This was a classic booty call because he was horny & he knew you'd be available & he wouldn't have to put in much effort, that you'd be willing to give it up in the car because sex is so new for you that you haven't learned to control your raging hormones. If by "normal" you mean that it happens regularly, sure there are rotten people everywhere who routinely take advantage of naïve folks like you. If you mean that it's a good thing, no it's not. Is it still considered a booty call if we went out for pancakes prior to having sex in the car? and he has taken me out to eat plenty times before. We'll go half or i’ll Pay for one and he pays for the other. Nothing expensive and he likes to eat so we do eat out often.
carhill Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 OP, did you like having sex with this guy? Was it enjoyable for you? Are you using sex, the strongest drive humans have, letting him have sex with you, to get something from him? The latter isn't uncommon, nor is it wrong. It's a transaction. Married people do it every day, though of course we'll wrap it all up in love and commitment. Single people have a bit more freedom.
carhill Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Is it still considered a booty call if we went out for pancakes prior to having sex in the car? and he has taken me out to eat plenty times before. We'll go half or i’ll Pay for one and he pays for the other. Nothing expensive and he likes to eat so we do eat out often. Back in my time we never gave this a second thought. It was called 'dating'. And yes, sometimes it was a midnight breakfast at Denny's and making out in the car in the parking lot after. Back during my teens and twenties, a 'date' sometimes was cruising the main, going to the races or street racing, then out for a meal. If we were both amorous, well, we expressed that. There was no accounting ledger. Just humans.
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 You are a booty call....that's it. Is it bad having sex in a car? no people do it all the time....did you do it with the right guy? no, this guy doesn't give a rat's butt about you... 2
Author Linaa Posted November 7, 2018 Author Posted November 7, 2018 You are a booty call....that's it. Is it bad having sex in a car? no people do it all the time....did you do it with the right guy? no, this guy doesn't give a rat's butt about you... Since when did booty calls get taken out late at night to eat before having sex? Usually they just have sex and that’s it.
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Is it still considered a booty call if we went out for pancakes prior to having sex in the car? and he has taken me out to eat plenty times before. We'll go half or i’ll Pay for one and he pays for the other. Nothing expensive and he likes to eat so we do eat out often. You need to define date however that works for you but caution is the operative word here. I think the hormones produced during sex are giving you a romantic picture of this guy that doesn't match the reality. I am all about empowerment; own your sexual choices but don't get sweet talked into anything you don't want to do. If you are happy, I'm thrilled for you. If you are questioning his motives, dial it back & approach with more cynicism. Sex is a genie you can't put back in a bottle. Do practice safe sex using condoms from both a health perspective & a prevent pregnancy stance.
carhill Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 OP, do you feel this guy is interested in you, your life and times? When having pancakes for a late night breakfast, how does the convo go? He's picking you up at work after you getting off late. That's something in itself. You apparently share dating expenses to some extent. He doesn't appear greedy, rather pays your way. Again, sounds like dating to me. Sex in the car can be part of dating. Beds are nice too. On the beach under the moon, eh, a little gritty if one gets off the towel. IMO, enjoy yourself and, if this guy isn't doing it for you, move on to another one. Plenty of us out there.
stillafool Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Since when did booty calls get taken out late at night to eat before having sex? Usually they just have sex and that’s it. Usually when the guy is hungry. Pancakes are cheap. Why do you ask these questions after the deed? Too late to wonder now. 1
carhill Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 At Denny's a median pancake breakfast for two with coffee and juice runs around 25 bucks plus tip, so figure 30 bucks max. If the guy is making 15 bucks an hour, maybe 12 after taxes, that's 2 1/2 hours of work for one pancake breakfast. Just sayin' 1
LoverOfDance Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 @Carhill - your calculation of costs is funny. Op, if you're having doubts and asking us, THERE IS A REASON, but you clearly don't want to trust your gut. You seem to like him a lot so go ahead and date him and see what happens but PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE SEX. 1
losangelena Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Since when did booty calls get taken out late at night to eat before having sex? Usually they just have sex and that’s it. Ehn, not always. Why can’t a casual sex relationship include things like eating? Doesn’t mean you’re investing in a relationship, just means you’re hungry. 1
carhill Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 I was remembering back in the day when I'd sweep up the condoms out of the parking lot I lamented how much of my income was spent on dating while these guys were getting 20 dollar blow jobs and 50 dollar PIV in the parking lot, heh, in their own cars. I was wondering who was smart and who was not. They drove nicer cars. OP's issue is as old as the hills. If it don't flow, let it go. If she likes getting picked up from work and spending some time at the diner and making out/having sex, do that. If not, don't. Pretty simple.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Since when did booty calls get taken out late at night to eat before having sex? Usually they just have sex and that’s it. No, that is not always true. I had late-night booty calls that involved food before or after the act. Grabbing a meal doesn't necessarily make the encounter more than casual.
BaileyB Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Since when did booty calls get taken out late at night to eat before having sex? Usually they just have sex and that’s it. Linna, do you want a casual hookup or a relationship with this man? If you want a relationship, does he do other things to show his interest? Do you text or call between "dates" and does he show interest in your life, your work, or your interests? Does he take you out to have some fun - do you go to some nice restaurants, go bowling, or do something that is interesting and enjoyable to you? Have you talked about what you both want for the future - do you know if he is looking for a casual relationship or has he explicitly said he is looking for a serious relationship - a "girlfriend." I will say, I have dated many men and none have ever picked me up at 11pm, taken me for pancakes, and then had sex in the car. It seems pretty clear that this was a late night booty call - all good fun if you are in a relationship and looking to be adventurous - but, if you want a relationship with this man and all he is offering is pancakes, and casual sex in his car... Then, you have a serious problem. 1
Redhead14 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 I mean he did pick me up from work at 11:00 pm and that was nice of him. It just happened and people have car sex right? That’s normal. I mean he did pick me up from work at 11:00 pm and that was nice of him - That wasn't nice, it was sleazy. What's bad is a young woman getting into a car with a virtual stranger alone . . . luckily things seem to have been "mutual", but that could have gone a whole different way. Don't be alone with a dating partner until you know them a little better at least - like a few nice evenings out and observing his attitudes and behaviors. And what you know about this guy is that he's OK with going out at 11 p.m. for booty. A guy who is at least a little classier would have taken you on a real date for the second date. At least get a dinner out of the encounter . . .
losangelena Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Were they blueberry pancakes? Would totally drop trou for blueberry pancakes. 2
snowboy91 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 There is absolutely nothing wrong with car sex in and of itself - as long as you're finding it fun. It sounds like you did - you're normalising it rather than complaining about it. What's more important is that this guy doesn't appear to be treating you with respect, and everyone else in this thread is saying so. He is only interested in the sex and not interested in you as a person - and he's not going to commit to you in any way. So the ball is in your court on this one - if you just enjoy the sex and don't mind the lack of commitment and his sleaziness, then go for it (in this case... who is using who?) , knowing he could turn on you or ghost at any time. If you want a relationship, you won't be getting it from this guy so run before you get burned. 1
Author Linaa Posted November 15, 2018 Author Posted November 15, 2018 Too late. I think he is interested sincerely. He’s getting me uggs for Christmas and I’m getting him a jersey.
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2018 Posted November 15, 2018 Just be careful A Christmas present is not a true sign of commitment. I also find it disappointing that you know what you are receiving from each other. Where is the surprise in that?
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