We don't have much in common, and it's discouraging.

[Astronomical]

After 4 months of dating this girl, things have been going downhill. An important factor to consider, is we live far away from each other, around a 35 minute drive and 2 hour bus, so it's hard to see each other often and make plans, because we're busy with school, and our schedules don't allow it. In brief, we have not seen each other in a month, and ever since, things have been going downhill. There have been many arguments because of the frustration from not being able to see each other often. An example to clarify, is she believes I don't care about her enough to make time, when she knows there is no time to make, because once again of school, homework, and part-time working as well. The only time we can see each other, is Saturday, at the mall or wherever, but I have been very busy even on Saturdays now.

 

 

Now expanding on the title, having nothing in common, and this is what bugs me the most. Even friends tell me, "How are you guys together, you are nothing alike". Basically, I know it may not sound like it, but music is a huge factor. She doesn't really like the type of music I listen to, which is rap, hip hop, and you know, the songs that talk about money, girls, sex, chains, the "thug" or "tough" life, like guns, shooting, also designer brands, fashion, flexing, and just songs with that type of vibe and energy. Artists that rap about these type of things influence me a whole ton, like without the music and artists I listen to today, such as Travis Scott, 21 Savage, XXXTentacion, Drake, Migos, Denzel Curry, The Weeknd, Kanye, Jay-Z, and other artists similar to their genres of music, I would not be the person I am today. I just feel so alive and ME when I listen to these artists, the energy I get is indescribable. So for her not to enjoy the same type of music is a huge discouragement, as she believes it's mostly nonsense.

 

 

Now music is a big part which separates our common interests, but also form of speech, attitude, like she is very outgoing and overly positive, which is a good thing, but my friends and I are on the down low, we're chill and quiet unless we're turning up in the car or whatever, its just she acts more like a child than an adult, and it can very irritating sometimes, when you feel like you're messaging a third grader. Also our thoughts and beliefs on things is not alike, most of the things she agrees with I disagree with, or her perspective on things is opposed to mine.

 

 

Additionally, she emphasizes how it's all about love and affection, which is also really great and a pleasure, but If I am to be honest, I'm not that fond over it, partially because i'm not good at showing my affection for someone, especially over text, and even in person as i'm not an outgoing person. Being with them is good enough for me, talking about whatever, but she wants me to always express my love and affection towards her, compliment her, get excited and jumpy when I'm with her, that it gets very repetitive and somewhat childish, as I said, I'm a chill person and that stuff seems extra or rather over exaggerated and often cringy for me personally.

 

 

It's really confusing in the end, because I still very much like this girl, because she's still a great person regardless, and I'm happy when i'm with her in person, but not so happy texting her. Like I said, it is very discouraging when we cannot discuss about something we like when there is close to nothing in common we like, and that would be so very much helpful, since we text more than we see each other in person. I don't know If I should continue this relationship, because I don't like arguing over stupid stuff all the time, out of frustration of not seeing each other, in fact we never argue in person, it only happens over text.

 

 

I just wish she liked the same music as I do, video games, animes, fashion, or anything of my personal interests, so we can discuss about something and have fun while doing it, cause now we don't even text as much anymore, since there is not much to ask other than "how was your day?" "what did you do" "How's school" which gets very repetitive, that I don't have the energetic capacity to over-describe my day to her everyday, to make it exciting for her to read and listen, and that's what happens most of the time, I give half-assed responses because i'm tired of texting.

 

Thanks for anyone who stuck around to read this lmao.

[Lorenza]

Don't expect a girl to like the kind of music that objectifies women. The lyrics are quite horrible in those and I can't imagine any girl would prefer listening to it. No offense.

Also, your aversion to showing any kind of affection will always be a problem in a relationship. People usually want affectionate partners. It doesn't really seem like you have much to offer this girl. It's not enough that you're just there. If love related things seems cringy to you, you might not be a relationship type of guy.

 

Just let her go.

[clia]

You aren't compatible and you don't have time to see each other. Time to end it and move on.

[LoverOfDance]

I'm not really a fan of the music you listen to either. Being a dancer, i might dance to those songs, but no, i would not put them on a "favourites" playlist. A lot of songs these days honestly don't have meaningful lyrics and i'm concerned that the artists you've mentioned are a big influence in your life.

 

Long distance is hard. I think you guys need to come to a compromise and maybe meet in the middle? Or maybe the real problem is that you are too busy to date. I think you should call her more instead of texting. Talk to her about all this instead of talking to us. Both of you need to decide together what is best for you and your relationship.

[RecentChange]

Dating is about finding out if you are compatible with someone.

 

If your lives can mesh, if you enjoy each other and enhance each others lives.

 

Four months in, you should be firmly in limerence, the OMG how did I meet someone so wonderful I feel like I am walking on the clouds stage.

 

Instead you two are bickering and you are now seeing the glaring ways in which you two are not compatible.

 

Break it off - this relationship isn't going to end in happily ever after, or even a happy 18 months.

 

Your music is your music, I totally get. My husband is SUPER into music, all sorts, including rap and hip hop. For us, going out to concerts is a big part of our lives, we go often, and I enjoy the huge variety of music he exposes me to.

[Mr. Lucky]

Given your schedule and availability, why do you want a girlfriend? Plenty of time later once your calendar frees up...

 

Mr. Lucky