long distance relationship sort of

[howen97]

Hi Everyone,

 

I'll try sum up everything as quick as possible.

 

I started speaking with a girl about 9 months ago while i was studying abroad, we met on tinder. we both are from the uk. She is 18 and i am 21 and before she went to uni we would always talk loads, and she adored me. I met her in the airport on the way back and we started to get closer, it didn't help that she lived in London and I in the Southwest. She came down and visited me and things started to go well, i wasn't mentally ready for a relationship but i wanted to keep things as they were....eventually i had decided around September time that i did want to be with her but she wasn't sure now.

 

She began university and things were still close but obviously long distance put a strain on things, i had booked time to go down and see her very soon. She went on a night out about a month ago and kissed someone, she then said it was a blip, she then a week later went on another night out and made out with someone and cuddled them, which obviously hurt to hear that, she then had arranged a date with this guy.

 

At this point, she had told me she had felt I was selfish and that i didn't know her properly and wasn't always there for her etc, and that i was too anxious a lot of the time for her to have to deal with. She said she would give it a week to see how we are with each other and see if i could improve, obviously my mental health started to play up as i constantly was just fixated on being better and making sure i was making progress by asking her constantly etc. I had a panic attack at work last Friday due to this and had to go home and had a conversation with her and we couldn't decide on what to do, eventually she said she didnt feel the same way as i do.

 

Sunday just gone we spoke again and i pleaded with her to give me one more chance to show her that i wouldn't have anymore blips, she told me to believe in herself and i did, i had no blips monday or tuesday! She flirted with me and was cute saying things like is there room for one more in your bed...talking about me visting and teasing me...all things that made me feel as if she wanted to get closer to me and was enjoying it. Come wednesday she had gone out the previous night, she was a bit off. I made a joke wednesday morning about how feels like you are testing me but i said it in a jokey way, she then exploded at me saying the truth is she doesn't want to see me anytime soon....

 

 

We spoke on the phone via video and she first told me due to not wanting to hurt me she didnt want to date me, she also said she doesn't feel mentally ready and that it wasn't me at all and that she could tell i was trying. She then told me i was cute when angry and **** and it just confused me more, she said that she knows im speaking logic but wont accept it .

 

She told me she needs space to focus on herself and that currently it was too late to salvage things and I just didn't want to accept it...which is true I will admit. She told me its possible she may come back to me in the future but right now she doesnt feel the same way, she was getting upset and apologizing and i just wanted to hug her and the distance kills me.

 

She told me she would always be here for me and that it isnt goodbye and she said she may talk to me next week, i may give it a month for my own sanity but im struggling. I sent her one message in the evening on Wednesday as i had calmed down. I essentially said i hope she takes as long as she needs to focus on herself and to be mentally happy with herself and that i understand where things currently stand and understand we dont know about the future in any regard and can only approach that when ready, i told her i would be here when she feels ready to talk.

 

I keep seeing her come online and all that and i just can't get her out my head, one minute shes being cute and flirty and then being cold and not interested, I feel empty, betrayed and have no idea how to cope with this. People have told me to block her but i dont want to have to, i want her to come back to me and even if its only just as a friend. I really dont know what to do and i could do with some advice everything reminds me of her and i can't get rid of it.

[littleshisui]

Hi, first of all, this girl is a cheater.

Which is not acceptable, unless you are into open relationships or polygamy or something like that.

Second, it seems like she has some mental issues. She’s bad for you.

And if you can’t let go, it’s because it’s a toxic relationship you MUST get over. This girl seems to be bipolar and in all honesty not ready for a serious relationship, that being in person or long distance.

You understand, long distance requires devotion, loyalty, burning desire and love. It’s all about how much both want it. That person is immature which is understandable since most 18’s of today are giant toddlers who are looking for one night stands and games.

Get yourself a real woman who will not make you have panic attacks at work or ignore you recklessly. This girl is clearly wasting your time and you’re not even important to her.

Yours sincerely. And my condolences for your heartbreak..

[Mr. Lucky]

My friend, when people are honest and up front with you, romance simply isn’t this hard.

 

When they’re not, well you’re finding out. Time to look for someone more accessible and less unstable...

 

Mr. Lucky