not sure how to deal with this....

[scared]

I think im losing it i have no idea what way im being pulled i dont feel like i belong anywhere and im scared everything im doing is the wrong thing...

 

i dropped out of high school cuz the kids didnt like me cuz i was white(seriously they didnt like me cuz i was white) and i moved here to this new big city from this small town where everybody knew everybody and no body was afraid to walk down the street..

 

everyone was care free...

 

i am this girl whos boyfriend lives 45 minutes away and i want somebody closer but they are all so closed minded that i cant meet anybody i mean i tried to go to school but they called me cracker and all these other names like white trash slutt and preppy white bitch..

 

pardoon my languge but i am not like what they were saying and i just want to make friends and im insecure already concidering my dad died 2 years ago and everyyone important to me died cept my mom and siblings i have had 2 best friends die cuz they couldnt handle there life and i dont wanna give in to suicide...

 

im better then that..

 

i dont really like having a long distance relationship and its kinda irritating haveing to pay over 200$ a month on a phone bill when i dont really feel into this relatonship since i moved here.

 

all my friends and my boyfriend are 45 minutes away and i cant drive to see them no lisense plus im afraid to leave my house cuz of the shootings and stuff in my neiborhood....

 

can somebody please tell me how i can meet people out here with out being afraid...

 

give me a sugestion of how to make friend meet guys and stuff..

 

and how to make them not so close minded about me cuz i never judged them and i never stopped trying but when i fear for my life that aint cool...

 

so if anybody can give e any clues id apraichate it!

[*Juliana*]

I think im losing it i have no idea what way im being pulled i dont feel like i belong anywhere and im scared everything im doing is the wrong thing... i dropped out of high school cuz the kids didnt like me cuz i was white(seriously they didnt like me cuz i was white) and i moved here to this new big city from this small town where everybody knew everybody and no body was afraid to walk down the street.. everyone was care free... i am this girl whos boyfriend lives 45 minutes away and i want somebody closer but they are all so closed minded that i cant meet anybody i mean i tried to go to school but they called me cracker and all these other names like white trash slutt and preppy white bitch.. pardoon my languge but i am not like what they were saying and i just want to make friends and im insecure already concidering my dad died 2 years ago and everyyone important to me died cept my mom and siblings i have had 2 best friends die cuz they couldnt handle there life and i dont wanna give in to suicide... im better then that.. i dont really like having a long distance relationship and its kinda irritating haveing to pay over 200$ a month on a phone bill when i dont really feel into this relatonship since i moved here. all my friends and my boyfriend are 45 minutes away and i cant drive to see them no lisense plus im afraid to leave my house cuz of the shootings and stuff in my neiborhood.... can somebody please tell me how i can meet people out here with out being afraid... give me a sugestion of how to make friend meet guys and stuff.. and how to make them not so close minded about me cuz i never judged them and i never stopped trying but when i fear for my life that aint cool...

 

so if anybody can give e any clues id apraichate it!

First off you need to figure out why you were moved out there. (IE. parent got new job, etc.). Do you have any relitives that live closer to your old home? if so try and talk to your gardian(who you live with) about moving in with one of those relatives. Talk to your gardian, tell them that you are not happy. tell them that you can't live like this. try to explain to them that you want to move. Your new home seems like a piece of bull ##### (excuse my language) no body deserves to be treated that way.

[scared]

i know and i have been trying to adapt but the truth is all my relitives live in other states and such

 

and im stuck here cuz no ones willing to take on one of there kids friends

 

truth is my family couldnt afford to live where we were so we moved to a lower income neiborhood nice house and good quiality but bad neiborhoods

 

and im scared to do anything out here i wish i could just start my on life in a diffrent place away from all this drama and be myself and not be scared to keep my bedroom door unlocked inside my locked house its scarey

First off you need to figure out why you were moved out there. (IE. parent got new job, etc.). Do you have any relitives that live closer to your old home? if so try and talk to your gardian(who you live with) about moving in with one of those relatives. Talk to your gardian, tell them that you are not happy. tell them that you can't live like this. try to explain to them that you want to move. Your new home seems like a piece of bull ##### (excuse my language) no body deserves to be treated that way.