PBUK Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Hi people, Many thanks for having me. I became an Amputee 6 years ago when I lost half my leg. My ex wife also left me for another guy while I was in hospital. (That didn't help my confidence) I now walk around perfectly and when I'm wearing trousers people can't even tell I am an Amputee. However, I haven't even had a single date in the 6 years since my amputation. I am super scared about how to even approach a woman and what do I even say....do I want them to see my leg straight away? I don't want it to then shock them if I don't reveal it for a while.. Can a lady even be attracted to a guy with one leg? I am so scared about dating that I don't even know where to start. Many thanks for any advice you guys and girls can give me. Paul UK. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Welcome to LS! It is indeed hard to do, but there are a select group of people who can enjoy men with a prosthetic leg. It will just take a lot more patience and tolerance of bad behavior before you find your favourite. What I suggest as a beginning step, is to do social activities where there are a lot of women. In that way you can at least start building your confidence back. Heck there is a famous youtube act/ personal life coach who has no limbs at all, and is a star for his determination. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 I once swiped right (on a dating site) on a guy in a wheelchair - I found him attractive and extremely intelligent which is the most important thing to me. We ended up never going on a date - I think he didn't make the effort or was traveling, can't recall. He made it very clear in his pics that he was in a wheelchair. There are all kinds of people in the world, and we can all find at least one person who loves us just the way we are... or at least I hope so! Yes I would make your situation clear so you only attract the right women for you. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 I wouldn't hesitate to date an amputee. From someone on the outside looking in, a partly missing limb is nothing compared to a good personality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 10, 2018 Author Share Posted November 10, 2018 Thank you all for the kind responses. I guess it's more of an issue in my head than anyone elses. It's still so difficult though. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 If you have a good attitude, I'd think you'd have no problem finding a woman. I recently made friends with an amputee on Facebook, he lost his leg in Iraq. Long story short, he got abusive via messenger because I refused to engage with him all day every day. When I called him out on his abusive messages he went on and on about his military training and his PTSD as if that was an excuse for treating me badly. Don't be this guy!! He ended up blocked. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Can a lady even be attracted to a guy with one leg? I am so scared about dating that I don't even know where to start. I matched with an amputee and would date sure. He was hot, fit, wise and ambitious, beyond his years it seemed. This was online and a few of his profile pics included his prosthetic and he has a link to his social media for the story about his leg. So that's one way. You could also mention it on a first date if these are women you meet in the "real world". I don't know if it would seem odd to wait until later to mention it. I think up front is better cause you weed out those who will mind and cut to the good ones. I'm sorry about your ex wife leaving at that time, that is really awful. I think that by rebuilding your confidence you can be proud of who you are and don't stress if some women are put off, cause there are others who won't be phased. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 10, 2018 Author Share Posted November 10, 2018 I matched with an amputee and would date sure. He was hot, fit, wise and ambitious, beyond his years it seemed. This was online and a few of his profile pics included his prosthetic and he has a link to his social media for the story about his leg. So that's one way. You could also mention it on a first date if these are women you meet in the "real world". I don't know if it would seem odd to wait until later to mention it. I think up front is better cause you weed out those who will mind and cut to the good ones. I'm sorry about your ex wife leaving at that time, that is really awful. I think that by rebuilding your confidence you can be proud of who you are and don't stress if some women are put off, cause there are others who won't be phased. Thank you. I agree, I think being up front is definitely the way to go. Just need to get my confidence up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 10, 2018 Author Share Posted November 10, 2018 If you have a good attitude, I'd think you'd have no problem finding a woman. I recently made friends with an amputee on Facebook, he lost his leg in Iraq. Long story short, he got abusive via messenger because I refused to engage with him all day every day. When I called him out on his abusive messages he went on and on about his military training and his PTSD as if that was an excuse for treating me badly. Don't be this guy!! He ended up blocked. Wow, what an absolute jerk that guy sounds! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 I fell in love with an amputee who lost the lower half of his leg as a young adult. He wore a prosthesis and in pants you wouldn't even know. It never bothered me, after all, none of us are perfect. To me, he was sexy and beautiful, my best friend, and I would have spent my life with him if the timing had been right for us. To any woman who loves you, it won't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 I fell in love with an amputee who lost the lower half of his leg as a young adult. He wore a prosthesis and in pants you wouldn't even know. It never bothered me, after all, none of us are perfect. To me, he was sexy and beautiful, my best friend, and I would have spent my life with him if the timing had been right for us. To any woman who loves you, it won't matter. That really does make me feel better. Thank you so much for sharing that. I guess the next step for me is to start socialising more. I have lived a very solitary life since my accident. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 You'll have to be up front about it because not everyone can deal with it, honestly, more out of feeling awkward and being not sure what to say than because of the physicality of it. Nurses and caretakers would be a more educated group about that sort of thing. Disabled women would too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 That really does make me feel better. Thank you so much for sharing that. I guess the next step for me is to start socialising more. I have lived a very solitary life since my accident. You're welcome, and good luck. Just be you and be confident in yourself. If you are rejected, keep moving on. I would suggest telling about it after a few dates, if she hasn't already discovered it by putting her hand on your leg. When he told me, I didn't blink. Someone had told me his foot was artificial (he didn't know I knew that) so when he said he had something to share with me about his leg, it didn't phase me. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Listen to this man: not only is he an amputee, he has no limbs at all! He's successful and dashing. (Nick Vujicic) If you are somebody who uses a prosthesis, with trousers, you will be blending in to everybody else. Now's the time for determination to meet as many people as possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotus_Luna Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 We all carry baggage. I have many small children. What man would want a woman with a litter of kids and an emotionally unstable ex? You’re an amputee. While some may not be okay, Inreally can’t think of a single woman who would turn you away. I would suggest maybe some therapy to work on the trauma of your failed relationship coupled with the amputation. So when you decide you’re ready to date, you’re emotionally complete. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 We all carry baggage. I have many small children. What man would want a woman with a litter of kids and an emotionally unstable ex? You’re an amputee. While some may not be okay, Inreally can’t think of a single woman who would turn you away. I would suggest maybe some therapy to work on the trauma of your failed relationship coupled with the amputation. So when you decide you’re ready to date, you’re emotionally complete. Thank you. I think therapy is definitely needed. I just can't see how I'd get over this by myself. It is such a big deal to me still. Many thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 You're welcome, and good luck. Just be you and be confident in yourself. If you are rejected, keep moving on. I would suggest telling about it after a few dates, if she hasn't already discovered it by putting her hand on your leg. When he told me, I didn't blink. Someone had told me his foot was artificial (he didn't know I knew that) so when he said he had something to share with me about his leg, it didn't phase me. Thank you. I hope to find people as friendly and open-minded as you and the others here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotus_Luna Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Thank you. I think therapy is definitely needed. I just can't see how I'd get over this by myself. It is such a big deal to me still. Many thanks. It can be hard to accept you need help. I get it... when I started therapy I was so broken from years of abuse. And while I’m not completely happy, I’m loving myself and learning that i am enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 I would be happy to date a wonderful guy, even if he is an amputee. Personality and character are much more important. This isn’t the same, but I was in a three year relationship with a man who had a good chunk of one of his feet removed (he was diabetic). It didn’t bother me at all. Also... this is a completely fictional account... but there is a series of books by the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books, but she uses a different name... but the main character in the books is a detective who had one of his lower legs amputated...and he has no trouble getting women. And I found it completely believable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 I would be happy to date a wonderful guy, even if he is an amputee. Personality and character are much more important. This isn’t the same, but I was in a three year relationship with a man who had a good chunk of one of his feet removed (he was diabetic). It didn’t bother me at all. Also... this is a completely fictional account... but there is a series of books by the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books, but she uses a different name... but the main character in the books is a detective who had one of his lower legs amputated...and he has no trouble getting women. And I found it completely believable. They made that into a TV show here in the UK. It's very good. Check it out if you can. It's called Strike. (I think) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 It sounds like you can walk (and drive?) and function your daily life well. The only thing I can think of is perhaps you can’t do certain sports. But there’re plenty of people who don’t do much sports even with healthy limbs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 13, 2018 Author Share Posted November 13, 2018 It sounds like you can walk (and drive?) and function your daily life well. The only thing I can think of is perhaps you can’t do certain sports. But there’re plenty of people who don’t do much sports even with healthy limbs. Yeah, I walk perfectly. Drive (automatic cars) Sports are fine but just have to be taken slower. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Yeah, I walk perfectly. Drive (automatic cars) Sports are fine but just have to be taken slower. I think this is less of a problem for guys, as we women like to wear cute skirts of dresses Do you wear your prosthetic leg pretty much all the time, if you don't mind sharing? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 I would have no problem dating you. It sounds your handicap doesn't limit you very much and you can have a full life in a relationship. Date like you would if you had both your legs and mention the missing leg after your 1st date. Let women see what a gentleman you are before telling them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PBUK Posted November 13, 2018 Author Share Posted November 13, 2018 I would have no problem dating you. It sounds your handicap doesn't limit you very much and you can have a full life in a relationship. Date like you would if you had both your legs and mention the missing leg after your 1st date. Let women see what a gentleman you are before telling them. Great advice. Thank you Gaeta. Link to post Share on other sites
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