Liliflower Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 hi everyone, i hope you all doing well. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years, but he wasn’t sure about me, i didn’t know if we were friends or more it was too confusing, i loved him and i still do but i decided i want more, i want something real so i stopped contacting him. After 3 months he contacted me saying “hi, i just want to make sure you’re fine” and after that i can’t help but think about him and how amazing our relationship could be if he was sure he wants me . I don’t know if i should contact him again or just wait. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years, but he wasn’t sure about me, i didn’t know if we were friends or more it was too confusing I'm confused too. You say you were in a relationship but then say you don't know if you were more than friends. Which was it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 We were more than friends but not lovers . He wasn’t sure about me I hope this clarifies the situation Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 We were more than friends but not lovers . He wasn’t sure about me I hope this clarifies the situation So why do you say you were in a relationship for 3 years? Do you mean you were friends for 3 years? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 We were not just friends . He sayed that he loves me but he wasn’t sure if he wants to be in a real relationship with me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 We were not just friends . He sayed that he loves me but he wasn’t sure if he wants to be in a real relationship with me. Yes, I get that. But what I don't understand is why you refer to a three-year relationship? You were not in relationship with him during that time, correct? If someone is unsure about you for 3 years, it's never going to happen. It sounds like he cares about you but isn't romantically interested. Your post is a bit vague, though. You say you were more than friends, but not lovers. I take that to mean you spent a lot of time together and were close, but were never physically intimate. Is that accurate? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 we were talking for 3 years and we were physically intimate . I had feelings for him and he says that he feel something toward me too but he was unsure about been in a real relashionship with me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Ah, I understand now. You were his FWB, for all intents and purposes. It's time for you to move on from this guy for good. 3 years is far too long to spend with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You were wise to cut it off 3 months ago. Don't bother going back for more of the same. Don't get trapped thinking about how great a hypothetical relationship could be; the reality is that he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend. It would have happened by now if it were ever going to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 Thank you so much for your answer , I think it’s time to move on even if it hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 (edited) hi everyone, i hope you all doing well. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years, but he wasn’t sure about me, i didn’t know if we were friends or more it was too confusing, i loved him and i still do but i decided i want more, i want something real so i stopped contacting him. After 3 months he contacted me saying “hi, i just want to make sure you’re fine” and after that i can’t help but think about him and how amazing our relationship could be if he was sure he wants me . I don’t know if i should contact him again or just wait. Update I talked to him today cause I can't stop thinking about him but he didn’t reply. Please forum what should I do I feel lost Edited November 12, 2018 by Liliflower Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Update I talked to him today cause I can't stop thinking about him but he didn’t reply. Please forum what should I do I feel lost Same advice as before: stay away from him and stop communicating with him. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 We were more than friends but not lovers . He wasn’t sure about me I hope this clarifies the situation we were talking for 3 years and we were physically intimate . I had feelings for him and he says that he feel something toward me too but he was unsure about been in a real relashionship with me. I don't understand at first you said you two are not lovers and then you say you were physically intimate. Can you explain? I think you have wasted 3 years of your life on something that was going no where. I would not give him any more of my time if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 we were talking for 3 years and we were physically intimate . I had feelings for him and he says that he feel something toward me too but he was unsure about been in a real relashionship with me. You were allowing yourself to be strung along . . . this was not a relationship. It was a long casual relationship at best. he says that he feel something toward me too = convenience . . . Move on. You can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate that But I really love and care about this person it’s hard for me to move on, also I texted him today and he didn’t reply which is something that I deeply regret. Should I block him on social media or just leave him Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate that But I really love and care about this person it’s hard for me to move on, also I texted him today and he didn’t reply which is something that I deeply regret. Should I block him on social media or just leave him Block, delete and just leave him. You two are not on the same page. You can love and care about him, it doesn't make a difference if he's not returning that . . . Find someone who makes you a priority and is consistent in that effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 I don't understand at first you said you two are not lovers and then you say you were physically intimate. Can you explain? I think you have wasted 3 years of your life on something that was going no where. I would not give him any more of my time if I were you. What I meant is that we were physically and emotionally connected but there was something missing which is commitment. He didn’t want to do that but he sayed that he loved me. I waited for 3 years but it didn’t get any better. He hangs out with other girls and I didn’t have the right to say anything cause he’s not my BF. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 What he meant was he loves you as a friend but he is not in love with you. So you two did have sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liliflower Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 What he meant was he loves you as a friend but he is not in love with you. So you two did have sex? Yes we did a couple of times and he asked me to come over many times after but I refused cause He never mentioned that he wants to be in a relashiop with me. He sayed he loves me and not as a friend but it wasn’t enough, because as I said he was seeing other girls and doing whatever he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Yes we did a couple of times and he asked me to come over many times after but I refused cause He never mentioned that he wants to be in a relashiop with me. He sayed he loves me and not as a friend but it wasn’t enough, because as I said he was seeing other girls and doing whatever he wants. So he saw you as a FWB but didn't want to take it to the relationship level. Sorry to say but after 3 years it's doubtful he's ever going to make you his girl. Why are you still wasting your time when you could move on and be involved with a man who wants you? Link to post Share on other sites
nodramallama Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Right now, all you're doing by texting him is giving him an ego boost. He knows you're waiting for him...in the wings, on the backburner. all he has to do is throw some breadcrumbs your way, like he did with his text expressing "concern". As others have said, you've wasted enough of your life on him. It's time to take back your power and your life and work on your self esteem so that you know without a doubt, not to settle for being someone's backup plan ever again. You are worth so much more than that. Find that knowledge and believe it! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts