Money question

[mcarter789]

So my wife and I have decided to divorce. We have 2 kids and she does not work. I have done the child support calculator for my state which say I would owe approximately 400 dollars each month for the kids. I moved into my friends apartment and she is staying at the house for now with the children. My question is how should I split my check up? Should I give her 60/40 because she has the kids and some bills. Should I do more or less? I get paid every two weeks and it ranges from 900-1200 dollars depending on overtime. I am gong to get a seperat bank account that way it can be divided to seperat accounts. Thanks for the input.

[Starswillshine]

Sounds like you are wanting to offer more than you are required. You are a good man for this.

 

Give what you can/are comfortable with. What is your wife's plans to get back to work? How old are your kids?

[Mr. Lucky]

Sounds like you are wanting to offer more than you are required. You are a good man for this.

 

The problem with this approach is he loses control on how the money is spent. Oftentimes, it goes to uses you may not agree with.

 

OP, pay the support mandated by law (the amount you quote seems low) and then pay your kids bills directly or buy them things on your own. And there’s no reason you can’t consult with your STBX as to what those expenses are and should be...

 

Mr. Lucky

[BaileyB]

The problem with this approach is he loses control on how the money is spent. Oftentimes, it goes to uses you may not agree with.

 

OP, pay the support mandated by law (the amount you quote seems low) and then pay your kids bills directly or buy them things on your own. And there’s no reason you can’t consult with your STBX as to what those expenses are and should be...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

This is good advice. Pay what is required, and then buy them clothing, school supplies, sports registrations as needed. Do not trust your wife to do this - she may, or she may not depending on her financial situation. It will take you bo time to adjust to your changed circumstances. Good luck to you.

[standtall]

Dude...lawyer up! Why did you move out of the house?...if your in the US, that is a bad move in most states when it comes to child custody and visitation later. A walmart version of divorce proceedings will be very costly in the long run.

[vla1120]

So my wife and I have decided to divorce. We have 2 kids and she does not work. I have done the child support calculator for my state which say I would owe approximately 400 dollars each month for the kids. I moved into my friends apartment and she is staying at the house for now with the children. My question is how should I split my check up? Should I give her 60/40 because she has the kids and some bills. Should I do more or less? I get paid every two weeks and it ranges from 900-1200 dollars depending on overtime. I am gong to get a seperat bank account that way it can be divided to seperat accounts. Thanks for the input.

 

Pay the child support mandated by the court because I can almost guarantee she is going to take you back to court when she can to get more money out of you. Being the nice guy and giving more than required right from the start won't stop her from doing that. You can buy your children clothing and other things on the side (and keep track of what you spend on the side, receipts included, as well.)

[Lotus_Luna]

As a woman who is fairly positive her kids father will find loop holes to escape child support... BRAVO for being willing to pay

 

Youndint need a lawyer but you need an agreement

 

Typically you can pay the amount

The. Decide who pays health insurance, bills and so on. You can either pay directly or 50/50

[Simple Logic]

As a woman who is fairly positive her kids father will find loop holes to escape child support... BRAVO for being willing to pay

 

Youndint need a lawyer but you need an agreement

 

Typically you can pay the amount

The. Decide who pays health insurance, bills and so on. You can either pay directly or 50/50

 

You need an attorney. Do not pay directly. Use your state’s child support services to handle all the payments so there is a legal accounting.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Is she going to get a job?

[Insoc]

Is she going to get a job?

 

My soon to be ex does not work has not in years and my Lawyer said though she will get support, she is able bodied and has a college degree, she will have to get a job and that the support won't be a free ticket, not that the funding will be enough to get by or live on here in SoCal.

 

From what I was told, she will have to prove she is looking for work weekly, much like when you collect Unemployment, and that they won't accept any "That's beneath stuff", I laughed when my wife said she wouldn't work retail, I was like you don't or won't have much choice, I also pictured her working in Fast Food with the unifor and hat, lol, makes me laugh because she is so cocky thinking her dream job is going to come in the next month or so, when she cannot even get an interview, she spends her time looking at clothing and shoes online, then porn (focused on the ethinicty of a guy half her age she is chatting with via text) having sexual fantasy's with him obviously and then listening to the same music on youtube, it's like a broken record. I told her today, "you don't want to work" and your in for a big surprise, she said "is that a threat" i said no, it's reality.

 

I laugh about her situation now, because of what she did to me and how she has treated me since she cheated on me online, hard to feel compassion for someone who feels nothing for you, touche what's good for the goose...good for the gander. I feel trapped I cannot just toss her out and have the place to myself, she eats my food and is moaning about the money I'm giving her, she blows it on clothing and shoes and is not saving a dime, yet I'm paying for everything, my Lawyer said I dont' need to give her anything while under my roof and support.

 

I'll be laughing when she is working at Burger King or the check out counter at Dollar General, or whatever lol. Do I sound cruel, you bet ya! The feeling from her is no better, so why continue to treat her like I want to be treated, she just act's fake and is playing along till the next guy is ready to be leeched.

 

Yep, I look at my wife now as a blood sucking leech, she was latched to me for a long time, worked a little but has worked less, my co-dependent marriage is my fault, but she has sucked me dry, on to the next victim, fall off and slither away with no regrets or feelings of guilt.

Edited November 18, 2018 by Insoc

[Insoc]

So my wife and I have decided to divorce. We have 2 kids and she does not work. I have done the child support calculator for my state which say I would owe approximately 400 dollars each month for the kids. I moved into my friends apartment and she is staying at the house for now with the children. My question is how should I split my check up? Should I give her 60/40 because she has the kids and some bills. Should I do more or less? I get paid every two weeks and it ranges from 900-1200 dollars depending on overtime. I am gong to get a seperat bank account that way it can be divided to seperat accounts. Thanks for the input.

 

I live in CA, it's a community property state 50/50 but it doesn't always work that way so my Lawyer stated. Even with what she will get it's not enough to live on because my soon to be ex doesn't want to "Downgrade" or live below the standard she is use to, can you say wake up call on the horizon?

 

I will be downgrading, but she thinks in her twisted head she can move into a nice rental that will basically cost 95% of her monthly support, nevermind she forget's she will need to pay for Utilities, Cable, Phone, Food, Gas and etc. out of the monthly support. Along with that she is liable for 50% of our debt, nice good old community property state, so that could come out of her support prior.

 

The no job thing, well I mentioned that in my previous post, my Wife has not worked in 3-4 years, cannot find a job now even with a college degree because she is high risk and has gaps in her resume. I told her to get a retail job she said it's dead end, I'm like well you have no choice, you might be asking if you want to supersize that soon with the uniform or hat, maybe even a career at Wal-Mart as a people greeter.

 

I can laugh now, because I don't care about her anymore or feel any empathy since she had no problems cheating on me online and not showing one year of guilt. I say you reap what you sow, who cares what she is deserving of, she will get what the courts allow but it's not a free ride and I told her she better hook up with her new young enough to be our son guy she is talking to, said to her, does he have a good job and can support you? There is nothing there, nevermind she will lose Health Insurance coverage after our D is final, if she want's Cobra, she will have to pay for it out of the support check. That alone would be a big chunk.

 

I think Divorce happens for a reason, but often some Women are not thinking clearly when they decide to do it, like I said to myself my Wife was playing me for a while, why not get a job first and be independent, she is so stupid is pains me that I was with her all these years and was too jaded to realize it.

[TheRainbow]

I live in CA, it's a community property state 50/50 but it doesn't always work that way so my Lawyer stated. Even with what she will get it's not enough to live on because my soon to be ex doesn't want to "Downgrade" or live below the standard she is use to, can you say wake up call on the horizon?

 

I will be downgrading, but she thinks in her twisted head she can move into a nice rental that will basically cost 95% of her monthly support, nevermind she forget's she will need to pay for Utilities, Cable, Phone, Food, Gas and etc. out of the monthly support. Along with that she is liable for 50% of our debt, nice good old community property state, so that could come out of her support prior.

 

The no job thing, well I mentioned that in my previous post, my Wife has not worked in 3-4 years, cannot find a job now even with a college degree because she is high risk and has gaps in her resume. I told her to get a retail job she said it's dead end, I'm like well you have no choice, you might be asking if you want to supersize that soon with the uniform or hat, maybe even a career at Wal-Mart as a people greeter.

 

I can laugh now, because I don't care about her anymore or feel any empathy since she had no problems cheating on me online and not showing one year of guilt. I say you reap what you sow, who cares what she is deserving of, she will get what the courts allow but it's not a free ride and I told her she better hook up with her new young enough to be our son guy she is talking to, said to her, does he have a good job and can support you? There is nothing there, nevermind she will lose Health Insurance coverage after our D is final, if she want's Cobra, she will have to pay for it out of the support check. That alone would be a big chunk.

 

I think Divorce happens for a reason, but often some Women are not thinking clearly when they decide to do it, like I said to myself my Wife was playing me for a while, why not get a job first and be independent, she is so stupid is pains me that I was with her all these years and was too jaded to realize it.

 

There are jobs she can get that aren't retail or customer service even with gaps in the resume. A good cover letter, and a good explanation of why there are gaps in her resume, she could land a decent job. I had short-term employment options, and just graduated with a grade twelve in my twenties when I landed a job as a personal assistant in a financial firm.

[elaine567]

Apparently both children are very young.

Youngest only about 6 months old. As a single mother I guess that may limit her work options, unless she can earn a very good salary to pay for child care or she has willing relatives close by.

[Insoc]

There are jobs she can get that aren't retail or customer service even with gaps in the resume. A good cover letter, and a good explanation of why there are gaps in her resume, she could land a decent job. I had short-term employment options, and just graduated with a grade twelve in my twenties when I landed a job as a personal assistant in a financial firm.

 

I think she can get a job in porn, phone sex or one of those sex cam sites, she would be good at it now that I know her true colors, you have to read latest post "How to accept it's over". I saw her looking at cam sites for web porn, wouldn't surprise me she will do porn or some other sex related job to make money, while it goes against what I knew, she has changed. She is 50+ and hitting menopause soon, I guess there is still some work for her in that field, dont' want to imagine it, it's not the person I knew or married, but she had a complete mental breakdown and I cannot help her, I tried for too long.

 

My lazy wife will never work, welfare she will be getting and WIC, not because she is needy, just because she is lazy and I was too co-dependent with her, thank God the ball is rolling to D-Day. I'm glad she did what she did, because I can now move forward, sure I'll suffer financially, but not for the rest of my life with a lying, insincere deceptive person.