Do you ever feel God is the only one who loves you?

[brigit87]

Although I'm still not certain there is someone looking out for me I still hope there is and that person loves me very much.

 

That person would never put me in harms way and protects me when I cannot protect myself. I think that would be a good God.

 

A God who loves me and takes care of me. And loves me unconditionally and completely. I wish he would make himself known in a good way. In some small way I believe he is there and he is the only one who loves me. But I don't know for sure.

[Sarah_Smiles]

God, or Mary..Yes, I sometimes feel this way too. For me, I think it is a coping mechanism to think to myself well.. okay so and so treats me this way( any supposed loved one) but at least I am loved in one way, by God.

[brigit87]

God, or Mary..Yes, I sometimes feel this way too. For me, I think it is a coping mechanism to think to myself well.. okay so and so treats me this way( any supposed loved one) but at least I am loved in one way, by God.

 

Life is so difficult and everything confuses me...well not everything. But if there was a God who really loved me then everything that I'm dealing with would be OK because he wants me to be sad for whatever reason.

[OpenBook]

No, He doesn't want you to be sad. He loves you very much. And I have always suspected there's angels (and maybe relatives who've passed? our ancestors? some kind of connection to us) who love us too, and watch over us. They're a kind of "extension" of His love.

 

God is always seeking a closer relationship with us - a deeply personal one that goes way beyond religion and church (although these institutions, with all their flaws, are still a good tried-and-true way to help us along on our path toward Him). He wants to heal those wounds we carry around that are causing us so much pain. He wants us to live an abundant life.

 

All our strife, all our pain - it wasn't what He intended for us. And He's the only guy who can get us past it & through it. We made a mess. He can help us clean it up.

[basil67]

If there is a God, they certainly don't protect people from harm. There are plenty of people who have faith who have suffered terrible catastrophe.

[brigit87]

No, He doesn't want you to be sad. He loves you very much. And I have always suspected there's angels (and maybe relatives who've passed? our ancestors? some kind of connection to us) who love us too, and watch over us. They're a kind of "extension" of His love.

 

God is always seeking a closer relationship with us - a deeply personal one that goes way beyond religion and church (although these institutions, with all their flaws, are still a good tried-and-true way to help us along on our path toward Him). He wants to heal those wounds we carry around that are causing us so much pain. He wants us to live an abundant life.

 

All our strife, all our pain - it wasn't what He intended for us. And He's the only guy who can get us past it & through it. We made a mess. He can help us clean it up.

 

But God should be a good parent and intervene more. I sort of feel he's being neglectful. I don't go to Church or follow any religion closely. I just listen to Eckart Tolle a lot and hope that there is some good reason I'm always struggling with terrible thoughts. I want to feel peace but mostly I feel fear.

 

If there is a God, they certainly don't protect people from harm. There are plenty of people who have faith who have suffered terrible catastrophe.

 

But why doesn't he protect them better? He can put up shields and barriers to stop all the hateful things people do.

[Timshel]

Brigit87...First, I don't know why you refer to God as a he, if God is God, then would God be so simple as gender specific? Lol.

 

 

 

Second...you are clearly searching for something and looking to God for answers, good.

 

 

What rubs me the wrong way is that with your questions, you continue to blame God for what is our own fault.

 

 

 

Why are you so angry with God?

[brigit87]

Brigit87...First, I don't know why you refer to God as a he, if God is God, then would God be so simple as gender specific? Lol.

 

 

Second...you are clearly searching for something and looking to God for answers, good.

 

What rubs me the wrong way is that with your questions, you continue to blame God for what is our own fault.

 

 

Why are you so angry with God?

 

It's not my fault that I was neglected and abused as a child.

It's not my fault that I was born with learning disabilities that were apparent in kindergarten and my parents choose not to get me help but to let me struggle my whole childhood.

 

I tried very hard to change what I could once I got to be an adult but my developmental stages were over and learning was limited at best.

 

I want God to parent me now.

[Timshel]

Indeed, none of these are your fault Brigit.

 

Who you are today is your own, it is yours.

 

 

Hasn't God been there for you. You are here, posting, asking questions and being displeased. This is a luxury.

 

 

Everything you need is already inside of you.

 

 

 

Gratitude is important, never think that your pain is worse than others and also important, remember that people are only human and it's up to us to be better...not God. God IS and nothing that we do will change this, we are quite expendable.

 

 

 

I am sorry that you have been abused. You seem strong now in a way that can help others.

 

 

 

You are talking to God, angry or not. That's all the parenting that you need.

[basil67]

But God should be a good parent and intervene more. I sort of feel he's being neglectful.

 

As soon as we put the word *should* in front of anything related to another person or entity, we will be disappointed. It's because others don't live their lives or make their choices according to how we think it should happen.

 

I suggest the base line mantra of "it is what it is" and then develop the tools to work up from there.

[basil67]

With regards to your parents not helping with learning difficulties, assuming that you were born in 1987, things were different back then. There wasn't the broad range of diagnosis available today, there was little in the way of early intervention and certainly no internet to guide parents in the journey. Even school bullying was dealt with very differently. The advice used to be "just ignore them and they'll get bored and leave you alone". These days, teachers intervene and help the bullies recognise how their actions hurt others.

 

You don't describe the abuse you suffered as a child, so I don't know if your parents were abusive because they were terrible parents - or if it was because your learning difficulties presented issues which they didn't have the tools to deal with. My son is autistic and now 21. He wasn't diagnosed till age 4 (again, dx are coming through much younger these days). Because I didn't know why he wouldn't do what I wanted and why he'd have terrible meltdowns, I resorted to yelling and spanking. It was a really dark time in my parenting and completely ineffective. I regret this time terribly but the truth is that I was doing the best I could with the tools I had.

 

With regards to you wanting God to parent and protect you now....no capable adult has the luxury of being parented. We're now grownups and we need to learn to nurture ourselves. I also work in disability and the current approach is to build capacity of those who have a disability with a goal of having them look after themselves too. It's all about teaching coping skills via psychology and occupational therapy.

 

I know you want to opt out of adulting and hand it over to God, but you don't get that choice. Better to work on building your skills with a psychologist to learn better coping mechanisms. And work through your past with a goal of letting it go. While you hang on to your past, it will hold you back from growing as a person.

Edited November 15, 2018 by basil67

[Ronni_W]

That person would never put me in harms way and protects me when I cannot protect myself. I think that would be a good God.

A different way to look at it is to ask, "Why was I in harm's way in the first place? Did God put me there, or was there something else going on, of which I do not presently have

the proper spiritual teaching, knowledge or understanding?"

But if there was a God who really loved me then everything that I'm dealing with would be OK because he wants me to be sad for whatever reason.

So...I am of the belief and understanding that God does NOT want us to be sad or to suffer for any reason. I believe that God = Love, and genuine, unselfish,

unconditional love does not desire or want or need our sadness or our suffering.

 

At this point, some (or most?) people will point to Jesus and his suffering and his crucifixion as being somehow related to the Will, Vision and Plan of God for Earth, but that is a false view of God and of Jesus' Mission on Earth.

But God should be a good parent and intervene more. ...

But why doesn't he protect them better? He can put up shields and barriers to stop all the hateful things people do.

God is the Caretaker of 10 billion people for Earth, and so anything that God does needs to ensure that it does not usurp the free-will decisions and choices of all of those 10 billion, including on an individual basis. 'Human' parents who do intervene and try to control their child's or children's experiences on Earth do not feel as constrained as God is, in this matter.

 

God can provide spiritual protection - putting up 'shields and barriers' - but only for those people who directly ask for it (otherwise, it is contravening their free-will right and authority). But, most people don't bother to take the few minutes out of their day to make a prayer to be thus protected. It says, "Ask and ye shall receive"...but a lot of people do not ask yet still expect to receive.

I tried very hard to change what I could once I got to be an adult but my developmental stages were over and learning was limited at best.

 

I want God to parent me now.

brigit87, I am sorry for your experiences growing up. Clearly your 'Earth parents' also did not have the proper spiritual teachings, knowledge or understanding that could have helped them to be better parents to you.

However, I would offer to you that you are not now limited or stuck in your further development, not as a 'human Being' nor as the Spiritual Being that you truly are.

 

Where we might diverge in thought is that God cannot, and should not be expected to, 'parent' an adult. But we can expect that God will provide all possible Guidance, Assistance and Support to us, through our own inner metaphysical/intuitive faculties. It is said, "The Kingdom of God is within you."

 

Wishing you all of God's Blessings.

[brigit87]

I know you want to opt out of adulting and hand it over to God, but you don't get that choice. Better to work on building your skills with a psychologist to learn better coping mechanisms. And work through your past with a goal of letting it go. While you hang on to your past, it will hold you back from growing as a person.

 

I do need to work on better coping mechanisms. Self-soothing isn't a strong point. My mom had lots on her plate so she couldn't parent me sufficiently and my dad was mostly MIA or being emotionally abusive via phone and cutting out child support. It's the past and I try not to dwell.

 

I think I have "sluggish cognitive tempo" which is a form of ADD. But that's only what I suspect. Plus, I've had so much mental trauma growing up I've spent so much time drifting into my own world on purpose that now it just happens.

 

The depression and anxiety is stabilized with meds. And when I get PMS (like now) things get worse. My new job isn't working out and it's pushing all kinds of buttons.

 

I want God to help.

[brigit87]

A different way to look at it is to ask, "Why was I in harm's way in the first place? Did God put me there, or was there something else going on, of which I do not presently have

the proper spiritual teaching, knowledge or understanding?"

 

So...I am of the belief and understanding that God does NOT want us to be sad or to suffer for any reason. I believe that God = Love, and genuine, unselfish,

unconditional love does not desire or want or need our sadness or our suffering.

 

At this point, some (or most?) people will point to Jesus and his suffering and his crucifixion as being somehow related to the Will, Vision and Plan of God for Earth, but that is a false view of God and of Jesus' Mission on Earth.

 

God is the Caretaker of 10 billion people for Earth, and so anything that God does needs to ensure that it does not usurp the free-will decisions and choices of all of those 10 billion, including on an individual basis. 'Human' parents who do intervene and try to control their child's or children's experiences on Earth do not feel as constrained as God is, in this matter.

 

God can provide spiritual protection - putting up 'shields and barriers' - but only for those people who directly ask for it (otherwise, it is contravening their free-will right and authority). But, most people don't bother to take the few minutes out of their day to make a prayer to be thus protected. It says, "Ask and ye shall receive"...but a lot of people do not ask yet still expect to receive.

 

brigit87, I am sorry for your experiences growing up. Clearly your 'Earth parents' also did not have the proper spiritual teachings, knowledge or understanding that could have helped them to be better parents to you.

However, I would offer to you that you are not now limited or stuck in your further development, not as a 'human Being' nor as the Spiritual Being that you truly are.

 

Where we might diverge in thought is that God cannot, and should not be expected to, 'parent' an adult. But we can expect that God will provide all possible Guidance, Assistance and Support to us, through our own inner metaphysical/intuitive faculties. It is said, "The Kingdom of God is within you."

 

Wishing you all of God's Blessings.

 

This is a beautiful post. Thank you so much.

[Ronni_W]

Plus, I've had so much mental trauma growing up I've spent so much time drifting into my own world on purpose that now it just happens.

Hi brigit87.

 

As I said above, it's okay to retake charge of that part that just wants you to 'tune-out' of your 'NOW' moments, in which the important stuff happens (as Eckhart says), and just drift into a different level of your own world.

 

From my own experience, it does take some dedicated hard effort, but you can do it...

 

In Light and Love.

[basil67]

I do need to work on better coping mechanisms. Self-soothing isn't a strong point. My mom had lots on her plate so she couldn't parent me sufficiently and my dad was mostly MIA or being emotionally abusive via phone and cutting out child support. It's the past and I try not to dwell.

 

I think I have "sluggish cognitive tempo" which is a form of ADD. But that's only what I suspect. Plus, I've had so much mental trauma growing up I've spent so much time drifting into my own world on purpose that now it just happens.

 

The depression and anxiety is stabilized with meds. And when I get PMS (like now) things get worse. My new job isn't working out and it's pushing all kinds of buttons.

 

I want God to help.

 

If you have no diagnosis, and the one you think you may have is ADD related, then there's little your parents would have been able to do back then to help you. That kind of stuff wasn't diagnosed or medicated back then. To be honest, it's unfair to blame your parents for not giving you learning support for ADD...because it just wasn't a thing back then.

 

Your dad sounds like a loser, but was your mum doing the best she could?

 

I'm not trying to be rude at all, but instead trying to give you another way to look at your history and put it in perspective of parenting and learning disabilities of the time. If you can lay your history to rest, you may start to feel a whole lot better.

[brigit87]

If you have no diagnosis, and the one you think you may have is ADD related, then there's little your parents would have been able to do back then to help you. That kind of stuff wasn't diagnosed or medicated back then. To be honest, it's unfair to blame your parents for not giving you learning support for ADD...because it just wasn't a thing back then.

 

Your dad sounds like a loser, but was your mum doing the best she could?

 

I'm not trying to be rude at all, but instead trying to give you another way to look at your history and put it in perspective of parenting and learning disabilities of the time. If you can lay your history to rest, you may start to feel a whole lot better.

 

There was indications of my inabilities to keep up with the rest of the class. I could have least been given a tutor. Yes. My mom did the best she could.

 

I'm still angry because now I'm suppose exist in a world that is so difficult to navigate so I want God to give me more help.

[basil67]

There was indications of my inabilities to keep up with the rest of the class. I could have least been given a tutor. Yes. My mom did the best she could.

 

I'm still angry because now I'm suppose exist in a world that is so difficult to navigate so I want God to give me more help.

 

Again, unless I've got your age wrong, tutors weren't a thing either....unless you grew up in a society with lots of Tiger Mamas. The way you describe your upbringing, it does sound like there truly are few grounds for resentment.

 

Have you talked about letting go of your past with a psychologist? Which parts of the world do you find difficult to navigate?

[Ronni_W]

I'm still angry because now I'm suppose exist in a world that is so difficult to navigate so I want God to give me more help.

brigit87, this world is difficult for all of us to navigate, not just those who have currently identifiable or measurable learning difficulties or extremely difficult pasts.

We are all at the same disadvantage...and our parents, grandparents and their prior ancestors were also disadvantaged...all of them.

They didn't have anything more to give to any of us because they didn't have anything more, period. They didn't have anything more even for themselves. It is not a science or psychology issue.

 

God cannot and will not give us any more help than we now are willing to earn or merit for ourselves. You are doing that. God is giving you (us) all of the help that is possible.

It is up to you (us) to learn how to recognize and take full and proper advantage of it. Anger against God, or against parents, or against prior ancestors, will not help us navigate the difficult,

dense, fallen and lesser-lower (collective and individual) consciousness of this planet. It just won't; it cannot.

 

You are doing what you need to be doing, right now. Trust that. Trust that God will not let you down. Trust that God is speaking within you, even as we are speaking.

Trust that "God is with you. God will not leave or abandon you. God will not fail you or forsake you. [so] Be strong and courageous. Do not fear and do not panic."

And keep on in your seeking...

 

In Light and Love.

Edited November 16, 2018 by Ronni_W
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[changingmale]

I know God is real and He has done so much for me around my separation. Yes my life could be better but then again could be worse. Maybe you are in the situation so you can help someone else at another time. God gave us freewill to do what we want or follow him. God is real always been here and always will be.

[Sarah_Smiles]

Life is so difficult and everything confuses me...well not everything. But if there was a God who really loved me then everything that I'm dealing with would be OK because he wants me to be sad for whatever reason.

Hi, brigit87

 

Meditation helps me, I try to always listen to meditative, healing music through my earbuds at bedtime, it always relaxes my mind so I feel worried free and do not think on my day, or even my past or any pains at bedtime, and it really works I wake up feeling so much better, and well rested (sometimes I will listen to one hour, or fall asleep to a 2 hour session). I sometimes think we are given pain and sorrow to make us fight on, persevere and be our strongest, it can feel super unfair, so I can understand exactly what you are feeling and saying here. No one should want you to feel sad, God, and yourself, family, friends included.

[BitterSweetz]

To be honest, I know that is the only one who loves me. That is God, I call him Yahweh Yeshua; He has many names. There are many different gods, but i chose him.

 

other than god is my 2 dogs that love me very much.

 

Know you are not alone in those feelings. Many of us do not have families, friends or people that are close to us.

[brigit87]

 

You are doing what you need to be doing, right now. Trust that. Trust that God will not let you down. Trust that God is speaking within you, even as we are speaking.

 

 

I like to think whatever I do I'm suppose to do.

 

I know God is real and He has done so much for me around my separation. Yes my life could be better but then again could be worse. Maybe you are in the situation so you can help someone else at another time. God gave us freewill to do what we want or follow him. God is real always been here and always will be.

 

I wish I had a little proof.

 

Hi, brigit87

 

it can feel super unfair, so I can understand exactly what you are feeling and saying here. No one should want you to feel sad, God, and yourself, family, friends included.

 

And it's the unfair part I still don't get.

 

To be honest, I know that is the only one who loves me. That is God, I call him Yahweh Yeshua; He has many names. There are many different gods, but i chose him.

 

other than god is my 2 dogs that love me very much.

 

Know you are not alone in those feelings. Many of us do not have families, friends or people that are close to us.

 

My family does love me but maybe human love isn't enough.

[basil67]

Perhaps that extra love you're needing should come from within.

[brigit87]

Perhaps that extra love you're needing should come from within.

 

Probably but it doesn't.