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Separation issues with ex (custody, payment, dss, etc.)


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littleblackheart

Who is looking after the children during your time with them while you are in work? Are they in childcare? And who is looking after them when they are with their mother?

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I gave emotional support to her every day. I cleaned most of the time I made sure laundry and such was done. She has had self harming issues for year prior to me knowing her. It was a mistake to have kids with her. I was making the best attempt I could to create a family. I feel so manipulated by her. I’ve always wanted a family and so I did the best to attempt at making a great one and she was unwilling to take care of herself. I have no problem with a women’s body after giving birth. She didn’t gain weight and attraction wasn’t an issue. Her attraction to be eventually became an issue. I went to the gym constantly (not by taking time away from her or the kids), encouraged her to do the same to find what makes her feel good about herself. I supported her life in all ways. I managed the bills, made the money, cleaned the house, and all for her to constantly put her stress on me. She couldn’t handle life. I’ve attempted to get full custody but it hasn’t worked. I left because I could feel how toxic our relationship had become. I took plenty of time reflecting and being sure I was doing what was best.

 

It would be super awesome if there was a way for you to trade places with her for a month or two so you could understand what it's actually like to be a SAHM (complete with all the hormones that go with it) with 3 little ones.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

OP, if your wife is so crazy, why are you OK with her having any unsupervised time with your children? This is confusing me. If she's self-harming, what if she kills herself while the kids are in her care? Or worse, takes them with her?

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I gave emotional support to her every day. I cleaned most of the time I made sure laundry and such was done.

 

Can you please explain how this is emotional support?

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Can you please explain how this is emotional support?

 

This is just an explanation that I actively did things inside the relationship to ensure I was sharing the weight of responsibility.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
This is just an explanation that I actively did things inside the relationship to ensure I was sharing the weight of responsibility.

 

Right. That is logistical support. Not emotional support.

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Right. That is logistical support. Not emotional support.

 

Emotional support was certainly provided. Not in my own view point, but from an outside view point I know it was provided. I’m not a bad husband or father. I’m not naggy or over stimulating, I’m a very good person in and out of a relationship. I just lost love and interest for my wife when her behavior escalated to a point I was unable to live with.

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I just lost love and interest for my wife when her behavior escalated to a point I was unable to live with.

 

The point you don't seem open to considering is there's a right way and a wrong way to resolve that issue.

 

Leaving the unstable pregnant mother of your two toddlers to move in with another woman with kids is the wrong way...

 

Mr. Lucky

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The point you don't seem open to considering is there's a right way and a wrong way to resolve that issue.

 

Leaving the unstable pregnant mother of your two toddlers to move in with another woman with kids is the wrong way...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Amen!

 

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