AugustSnow Posted November 16, 2018 Posted November 16, 2018 (edited) Hello everyone. I am not sure if the same members who were here three years ago are still on this site today, but I wrote a thread three years ago about a janitor I had a crush on at the time that worked at the same job I worked at. The last update I recall giving you guys was him leaving that place and we exchanging phone numbers to keep in touch. Forgive me in advance for this post may be of great length So after we have exchanged phone numbers, we kept in touch sporadically. His sister was still staying with him at the time (for those who remember me sharing with you the living situation at the time) Our communication was mainly via text messaging. September 2016, he helped me move from one place to the place I am living now. Thanksgiving of 2016 was when he brought me a Thanksgiving plate, which was nice of him. Texting turned into more phone calls. He was still kinda distant, as I've found myself becoming pushy with phone calls and all, and he preferred texting majority of the time still. During this period, I was dating someone (nothing serious), and I would ask his opinion in a subtle manner about certain things about guys I'm dating, to see what he says. Other times I would just blatantly tell him I am dating someone and give him the rundown of what's going on what get his advice. May of 2017 he loaned me $200. In between all of this he has always given advice on car related things or computer related things. Christmas 2017, he baked me a pecan pie and brought it to me. I went out of town after that to Mississippi (his home state) while he spent Christmas with his family. He texted, called to check on me while I was out of town. Fast forward to April of this year, we had a falling out a huge one where he got so upset, he blocked my number. I was definitely sure I was not going to hear from him ever again. I couldn't be any more wrong. July 4th of this year around 11:30 that night, he texted me from a new phone number making sure I am the right person. I was very elated to hear from him, but I didn't let him know that. The next day we talked for at least two hours on the phone and he told me he has been through a lot. He lost his job, had a falling out with his sister where she moved out, but he still had money to keep him afloat to pay his bills until he found work again, which didn't take him long at all (he's always been a man who worked hard). He invited me over his house for the very first time EVER! Something I never expected. We sat down over a meal and talked. We kept in touch, but I wasn't as demanding on the phone calls as I was before because that's what the big falling out was about in the first place. I just kept my cool and my overexcitedness in check, and will continue to do so, no matter what. Since then I have been over his house quite a few times, just to say hello or spend time with him or have breakfast. My birthday was in August, and he made me breakfast for my birthday and bought me a cake. It was really nice. I went out of town as well for my birthday (by myself) because I love to travel. My phone didn't get very good reception so it was not easy to talk to him like normal, so we didn't talk for a few days, but when we did talk after a few days, the first thing he said was he was about to file a missing report on me if another day went by and he didn't hear from me. I didn't know whether to be flattered or what. Ever since we started back up talking in July, I have gone out of town three times (July, August and October) and each time when I told him I am going out of town, the first thing he asks is who I am going to see and wanted to know if there is a boyfriend in the picture. This past September my car got stolen from work. He has been there for me. He kept telling me to read Psalm 37. He gave me a ride to work when I didn't have a car at that time, and I gave him gas money. When the police recovered my car a few days later, it was almost 10:00 at night. Normally he doesn't like getting out at night, but he put some clothes on and drove and picked me up (I live way across town), and drove me out to where my car was and stayed with me until a tow truck came. Since that incident (as well as other incidents) I no longer felt safe at that location and eventually got transferred). He comes by where I work during his break (since he's a local driver for a company) just to say hello and then goes back to work. He knows when my break time is and he would sometimes call just to make a joke or tell me something that happened on his work shift. Recently he made some spaghetti and told me he has extra if I want some, but I would have to drop by his place and get it, which I did right after I got off from work. LOL! Last but not least, he invited me over for Thanksgiving. These turn of events were definitely unexpected from a guy who basically gave me the impression he didn't like me years ago, or at least didn't like me much more than a co-worker. I am now 35 and he is 57. I have definitely grown up since then. He is no longer a janitor, but he is working for himself as well as a local driver. For those who made remarks about him being a janitor and how he has no future a few years back, I didn't get to tell you, he has money where he is purchasing his own home, which he only has three more years left on it, an owner of two vehicles, and STILL has money already saved for if something goes wrong jobwise, so he has been a man who has always thought ten steps ahead. If that man isn't at work, he is doing some type of repair/improvement or another on his house. Yes, HIS HOUSE! I just wanted to share this with you all, and if you have any thoughts are questions, feel free to share them. Happy Holidays! Edited November 16, 2018 by AugustSnow
anika99 Posted November 16, 2018 Posted November 16, 2018 So I'm confused. Are you two dating or just friends? If it's just friends, is that all you want out of this relationship? If you want more than why do you think it's taking so long to progress to a boyfriend/girlfriend level?
Author AugustSnow Posted November 16, 2018 Author Posted November 16, 2018 So I'm confused. Are you two dating or just friends? If it's just friends, is that all you want out of this relationship? If you want more than why do you think it's taking so long to progress to a boyfriend/girlfriend level? Honestly, I have no idea, but I am cool with the way things are going right now.
stillafool Posted November 16, 2018 Posted November 16, 2018 Honestly, I have no idea, but I am cool with the way things are going right now. Then that's all that matters. Glad it worked out for you.
preraph Posted November 17, 2018 Posted November 17, 2018 You need to let this man know you care more about him than friends. His age difference over you is making him hesitate. You should flirt with him and ask him if he's dating anyone. Stop telling him about your dating because normally, that is not something you'd do if you were wanting to date a guy. TMI. You should invite him over for a dinner or something and watch a movie and sit close to him. You like him and I think he's afraid to make a move because he's older.
Author AugustSnow Posted November 17, 2018 Author Posted November 17, 2018 (edited) You need to let this man know you care more about him than friends. His age difference over you is making him hesitate. You should flirt with him and ask him if he's dating anyone. Stop telling him about your dating because normally, that is not something you'd do if you were wanting to date a guy. TMI. You should invite him over for a dinner or something and watch a movie and sit close to him. You like him and I think he's afraid to make a move because he's older. I am quite happy letting things flow naturally and because of that, things have gone a lot smoother than they have years ago and I am more than okay with that. We indeed have a true friendship. If nothing else, I have found a true friend I can count on, something, I didn't have with him years ago. That flirting stuff I have already tried years ago, and to me, that's the immature me, trying to force things, which ultimately made him uncomfortable and made things awkward. The more mature me is letting things flow naturally and because I have done so, lots of good things have developed between us and if it's meant for us to be more than friends, it will happen in time. Right now, we are happy with the way things are. Edited November 17, 2018 by AugustSnow
skywriter Posted November 17, 2018 Posted November 17, 2018 (edited) AugustSnow, I'm sorry I didn't read your post prior to your update. It's wonderful that you and your 57 year old friend are taking things slow and appreciating one another for what you bring to the table. In reference to him having been a janitor in the past. Well, he's proof that it isn't what you do it's how you handle your income, that is important and he's obviously learned this. Best wishes to the two of you, and I hope he will remain in you life in some capacity because true friends are hard to come by. Oh yea, I want to add a shout out and thank you to all the janitors and grounds and maintenance facility employees of the world! Hospitals, care giving facilities, such as assisted living and nursing homes, have a need for people of this field. It's all good, thank you. You deserve health insurance, and retirement pensions just as much if not more than the rest of the staff. Edited November 17, 2018 by skywriter 1
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