Monopoly on Grief?

[Logo]

You know those times when your relationship has just ended and you think things couldn’t get worse, then you see a homeless man pushing a cart filled with empty cans, wearing shoes that are falling apart and you think to yourself, things could be worse for me. I suppose I’m fortunate for what I have.

 

Now suppose that homeless man is depressed because he’s lost it all and he’s out on the street in the cold and he’s thinking, I’ve hit rock bottom.

 

 

But then there’s someone somewhere in a hospital, in great pain, fighting a terminal illness and the homeless man thinks, I suppose it could be worse.

 

 

Then there’s the orphaned kid who’s just lost his parents to a car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver. And suddenly the guy who’s just found himself single again is counting his blessings.

 

 

The homeless guy is thinking it could be worse.

 

 

And the person with the terminal illness finds comfort in medication that numbs the physical pain.

 

 

So whose grief is worse? Is there a scale? Is one person’s grief more real or important than another’s?

 

 

In most cases we don’t know what we have until it’s gone. We take things or people for granted.

 

 

But despite it all, there’s a glimpse of hope somewhere.

 

 

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. And although the last three years have been emotionally traumatic, painful and trying, I am thankful for all that is good in my life.

[FMW]

Yes, it's all about gratitude and perspective.

[Lorenza]

Your grief is yours alone and you don't have to compare it to other people's grief. You are allowed to feel the way you do.

[Lotus_Luna]

You can not compare grief or joy

 

It would be stupid to say ‘you can’t be happy, look at her over there! Her life is better then yours, she’s happier!’

 

Same with grief

 

 

We all need to process and allow the emotions to come. It’s part of our humanity and mental health.

[sabaton]

You know those times when your relationship has just ended and you think things couldn’t get worse, then you see a homeless man pushing a cart filled with empty cans, wearing shoes that are falling apart and you think to yourself, things could be worse for me. I suppose I’m fortunate for what I have.

 

Now suppose that homeless man is depressed because he’s lost it all and he’s out on the street in the cold and he’s thinking, I’ve hit rock bottom.

 

 

But then there’s someone somewhere in a hospital, in great pain, fighting a terminal illness and the homeless man thinks, I suppose it could be worse.

 

 

Then there’s the orphaned kid who’s just lost his parents to a car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver. And suddenly the guy who’s just found himself single again is counting his blessings.

 

 

The homeless guy is thinking it could be worse.

 

 

And the person with the terminal illness finds comfort in medication that numbs the physical pain.

 

 

So whose grief is worse? Is there a scale? Is one person’s grief more real or important than another’s?

 

 

In most cases we don’t know what we have until it’s gone. We take things or people for granted.

 

 

But despite it all, there’s a glimpse of hope somewhere.

 

 

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. And although the last three years have been emotionally traumatic, painful and trying, I am thankful for all that is good in my life.

 

 

 

 

I dunno. I never really saw the point of grief when I'm low middle-class in this place and despite that my life is still a lot better than the life of most people alive today. Sure, would I like for my life to be better? Yeah, but I ain't losing sleep about it.

[FMW]

Grief, unfortunately, is a part of life we all have to deal with, multiple times throughout our lives. We absolutely have to work through it, feel it and process it.

 

But the gratitude and perspective come in, hopefully, to keep us from staying there and feeling sorry for ourselves.

 

Two and a half years later I still grieve for my father. But I mostly am so very thankful that I had such a wonderful man in my life. Many people don't get the opportunity to experience that grief because they either had no father at all around or a very low quality one.