Girlfriend needs time

[Codww2]

By when? This afternoon? By the end of the business day tomorrow? Probably nothing will change.

 

Later beyond that? Who knows?

 

Just go about your life. Go to the church like you ought to be doing. Treat her (and everyone else) the way you want to be treated. Show her, her family, and everyone else around you, that you are a decent well-balanced man who has his life together,...and isn't hand-wringing over some chick or clinging to her ankle as she drags him down the hall. Maybe her family will eventually think, "You know, maybe we were wrong about that guy" and think that it wouldn't be all that bad if their daughter was seeing him.

 

I know that it will take time.

But i’m already going 2 years to the church (her brother is the pastor) and he likes me a lot. But yeah, the father he is very nice in front of me but she always told me that when she was alone with him. He always told her to never talk to me. But yesterday she told me that i don’t have to take it personal. Her father is like that against all boys of the church. And i’m not clinging on this girl, i don’t even want to send her. She asked time. I even went NC for 4 days and she texted me eventually. Doesn’t this mean something?

[PRW]

I even went NC for 4 days

Oh now let's not start on that stupid NC stuff

 

and she texted me eventually. Doesn’t this mean something?

It means she probably expects you to text her back.

 

If all else fails, do it the ancient way:

 

1. Find a hot chick

2. Find her dad

3. Give the dad some cash, a cow, and a few goats,...bring home the chick

4. Have a big party. All your friends get in a wooden tub barefoot and stomp on grapes to make wine. Except grandpa with the toenail fungus,...he isn't allowed

5. If she burns the dinner in the first 30 days,...dad has to return one goat.

[ExpatInItaly]

I know that it will take time.

But i’m already going 2 years to the church (her brother is the pastor) and he likes me a lot. But yeah, the father he is very nice in front of me but she always told me that when she was alone with him. He always told her to never talk to me. But yesterday she told me that i don’t have to take it personal. Her father is like that against all boys of the church. And i’m not clinging on this girl, i don’t even want to send her. She asked time. I even went NC for 4 days and she texted me eventually. Doesn’t this mean something?

 

This is ridiculous, considering her family has a personal grudge against yours. He might not want her talking to any boys, but you apparently both already know he would be particularly unhappy finding out that the boy she's with is you.

 

What is really the plan moving forward? Continue dating secretly, indefinitely? What's the point?

 

Are you hoping Dear Ol' Dad has a change of heart about you?

[PRW]

Is sex becoming routinary? If it is' date=' then it can be the reason why your BF is feeling that way. I was at that phase before. I felt that I just had to do it with my GF just to let her feel that I'm still in love with her. Which I am still BTW. Sometimes you need to mix things up. If you guys normally do it in the bed, why not do it some other place in your house. If you're doing it on a Monday, why not do it on a Friday. If you're always on top, why not be on the bottom. Just mix it up! What really turned me around was what my GF did. She asked me to play this sex game. At first, I wasn't into it, to be honest. But I wanted to get it done and over with so I said yes. She had bought a [sex dice'] (https://sextoysformen.co/collections/catalog/products/kinky-sex-dice) for us to use. I actually enjoyed it. Now, we use it almost every time we have sex. We even read this [article] (https://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/seduction/naughty-sex-games-for-couples-to-feel-horny-again) to keep our sex life be stronger and exciting. Now we even talk about it. What does she like and vice versa. I believe that nothing can't be fixed with a good communication. I'm no professional but I hope this experience of mine helps.

 

 

She's is probably a virgin. Her parents are trying to keep her that way till she gets married most likely.

 

It's a guy writing about a girl, not a girl writing about a guy.

[Codww2]

She's is probably a virgin. Her parents are trying to keep her that way till she gets married most likely.

 

It's a guy writing about a girl, not a girl writing about a guy.

 

She is indeed a virgin, and i respected that.

Her older sister called me yesterday, she wanted to talk about our situation. She told me that if we really love eachother that her parents wouldn’t come in her way. Why she was acting like this is probably because she doesn’t know what to do. She told me that she always told her to tell her parents about us. Because this was a big secret and she would feel at ease if they know. But the problem with telling the parents is that we probably have to engage and nor me or her are ready for that.

 

@PWR how would you handle in my situation? I’m don’t like texting or calling, but we decided to keep the relationship and go slow. But it seems like that she doesn’t want me to text her. (she doesn’t want to be forced to respond) I know the best way now is just let her come to me. But what do i do if she comes to me? Talk or tell her to hang out?

[PRW]

@PWR how would you handle in my situation? I’m don’t like texting or calling, but we decided to keep the relationship and go slow. But it seems like that she doesn’t want me to text her. (she doesn’t want to be forced to respond) I know the best way now is just let her come to me. But what do i do if she comes to me? Talk or tell her to hang out?

 

Screw the phone. Stop being teenagers. See each other in person.

 

No, she should not hide things from her parents. You want them as allies, not enemies. You want to be the guy they like having around,...not the intruder.

 

Her parents are not going to make you get engaged. That is just sillyness. I am well aware of families like this,...and that idea is stupid. My in-laws when I was married were the same way. But when you got past the first impression they were great people and they certainly had their act together better then most families and they all stood up for each other like families should. The father in-law, just for fun, during wedding rehearsal even "danced a jig" as he "gave the bride away",..."Woohoo! Finally got rid of her!". They had the same sense of humor anyone else would have.

 

Anyway, just stop "making a thing" out of everything. Just see each other in church and where ever else you see each other and just enjoy and have fun. Stop turning everything into a heavy subject. It may not have been said, but you turning everything into a heavy subject of drama may very well be part of what is exhausting the poor girl and leaving her in such a scatter-brained state,...and may be part of the reason she wanted space in the first place.

Edited November 28, 2018 by PRW

[Codww2]

It has been 3 days i heared something from her. This is way too confusing for me.

She is someone who always needs attention and her not asking it from me even after we discussed it in person... i just can’t get it. We even agreed to continue the relationship..

 

I’m pretty sure it’s over.

[PRW]

3 Days? I've gone weeks.

 

So think about what you are saying. Your saying she is normally excessively needy and clingy and needs constant affirmation, I don't expect her to ever change and never grow up and that her parents would never rightfully coach her to stop being needy and clingy and that she should grow up,...yet she isn't acting that way at the moment. So I'm confused by it. And since I don't understand it,...it must be over.

 

And if it is over? So what?!? You still do the same thing I told you. Like I said a few times already,...time to grow up,...and stop acting like you are in High School.

[Codww2]

Thank you for your daily man up comments, i needed that!

[ExpatInItaly]

It has been 3 days i heared something from her. This is way too confusing for me.

She is someone who always needs attention and her not asking it from me even after we discussed it in person... i just can’t get it. We even agreed to continue the relationship..

 

I’m pretty sure it’s over.

 

I think you're right, OP.

 

As I said before, I think she hasn't yet had the guts to come out and break up with you completely but I am sure that's where this is heading.

[Codww2]

Things were going good..

Untill today.. i went out with my friends yesterday and i didn’t tell her. And now she is mad again.. she didn’t want to talk with me.

 

This girl is really giving me a hard time.

[ExpatInItaly]

Things were going good..

Untill today.. i went out with my friends yesterday and i didn’t tell her. And now she is mad again.. she didn’t want to talk with me.

 

This girl is really giving me a hard time.

 

Remember what some of us said about her being immature?

 

You can keep banging your head against this wall, or you can dust off your forehead and move on to more promising prospects.

[Codww2]

I know...

 

She was like why don’t you text me, ask me about my day,...

I told her it was her who wanted space.. i’m so confused. She even asked me who i followed on instagram and she was jealous that i followed 2 girls. I’m trying to text her, but it feels so weird. It seems like she doesn’t want to talk. I really don’t know what to do... When she reaches out, she talks like nothing happened. But when i reach out, she always has doubts.

 

I don’t really feel like chasing her and i will never do that. But i don’t feel like ending this relationship, something is holding me back. I still love her. And she is also having a hard time letting me go...which makes it 100 times more difficult.

 

I went out with my friends and she told me that a bomb exploded in her and she wanted to kill me when she found out. She told me, i’m going out to search other girls. But this is not true and i’m just going out to have fun and get a breather..

Edited December 4, 2018 by Codww2

[Codww2]

A quick update. We have been talking now for 4 days.. she calls/ text me in the evening and she seems to forgetting the stuff we have been through.

 

The weird thing is that if i engage contact she is very dull. What the hell am i supposrf to think or do about this?

[frigginlost]

Move on with your life...

 

She is doing nothing now but playing immature games to ensure she still has you hooked. You are setting yourself up for even more pain by continuing to interact with her...

 

So this hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear and takes with him his trusty 22-gauge rifle.

 

After a little while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, though, the bear is gone.

 

A moment later the bear taps this guy on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can either rip your throat out and eat you alive, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll do you in the ass.”

 

The hunter figures that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers, bends over, and the bear delivers on his promise.

 

After the bear leaves, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers into town vowing revenge.

 

He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear once again is gone. A moment later, the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.”

 

Afterwards, the hunter pulls up his trousers and crawls back into town. Now he’s really mad, so he buys himself a bazooka.

 

He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires.

 

When the smoke clears this time, the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, “You’re not REALLY here for the hunting are you?”

[fromheart]

A quick update. We have been talking now for 4 days.. she calls/ text me in the evening and she seems to forgetting the stuff we have been through.

 

The weird thing is that if i engage contact she is very dull. What the hell am i supposrf to think or do about this?

 

 

Look, she's a controlling nutter. She will always make you miserable. Do yourself a favor and walk away.

[ExpatInItaly]

A quick update. We have been talking now for 4 days.. she calls/ text me in the evening and she seems to forgetting the stuff we have been through.

 

The weird thing is that if i engage contact she is very dull. What the hell am i supposrf to think or do about this?

 

She doesn't want you going anywhere until she is ready to move on.

 

She's not quite there yet, hence her attempts to keep you hooked, but once she is ready to pull the plug, you will be left in the dust.

[Codww2]

You guys were right.. she was stringing me along. I found out monday she has been talking with her cousin for already 2 weeks. They always had a good bond, but when we were together i saw the look in his eyes when he looked at her. And now it seems i just pushed her to his lap.

 

I had to see this coming, she is moving on by talking or possibly dating him.

She told me they have been having deep conversation and that it’s her only friend she can pour her heart to. He asked her if we were still talking and i don’t know if i believe what she said. She told him we are, but we are having a bad time. He told her to let me go. That evening she called me and told me , she can’t live like this anymore and she will let me go.

 

It was untill next day i found out he was the reason behind it. I found out she was talking to him..

 

I feel so betrayed, so dumb,.. my guts were always telling me this, but i didn’t want to believe it.

 

Next day she called me and she poured her heart to me, she told me her attraction was lost because i was so controlling. And then after a long talk she started talking about everything what has been going on in her life, what she has been doing,.. and i told her we should meet up and either close our relationship or see what it bringz us. I was tired, so i didn’t really push her and she told me well okay i will let you tomorrow because i have a lot of work for school.

 

It has been 2 days and she didn’t let me know anything. I feel so stupid, this month has been so hard for me. I never expected this from her..

[Garcon1986]

Heal up, do happy things, be healthy. And remember the lessons learned here for next time. You will have plenty of new opportunities as long as you learn your lessons.